I know! I know!

How do I tell my Covid-cautious husband that I deleted the Test and Trace app?

I’ll write a column about it!

Lord Forbid that Ms. Pollyfilla actually talk to her bloke after all. As Ms. Vine showed with that impending divorce piece…..

21 thoughts on “I know! I know!”

  1. As he sounds like a berk, he’d probably believe her if she said that her iPhone had had a head crash.

  2. Such is the level of paranoia I’m attaining these days, I have to ask the question, does deleting the test & trace app delete the test & trace app? Or simply remove the icon from the home screen whilst the app itself carries on humming away in the operating system. I really do not trust the bastards. Short of rooting the phone or doing a complete factory reset on the O/S, how would you know? Even if you did the latter, what’s the likelihood the T&T app – having been present on the phone – is simply redownloaded with the updates & runs in a stealth mode? There’s a certain amount of data carries through a factory reset. The user’s login & password, for a start.

  3. What happened to your “its all down to bungling” theories BiS?

    Blojob J is once again running the vax pass up the flagpole via the Times. And if he isn’t defeated it will be 1st step–then merged with “digital identity wallet” shite to create CCP style social credit tyranny. He has to if he wants to force Marxist-run greenfreak ruin on UK. Only if UK is open-air jail can he do his eco-scum dirty work.

    I think enough of UK population will defeat the fat useless bastard however. I’m not going to the back of the bus and I’m sure millions will do the same.

  4. “Pollyfilla”

    Indeed, almost as clueless as the original. Her idea of being Covid sceptic (unlike her triple masked husband!):

    “I’d like to point out that I’ll not be burning or even binning my mask. I’ll just be keeping it tucked away in the side pocket of my handbag, rather than permanently stringing it over my ears and under my chin.”


    Interesting idea.

    Like others, I believed that T&T on my device simply meant talk and text, and assumed (for example) that someone would have to triangulate for any (more generic) purpose of track and trace. But given these things have 2 OSs, and far more hardware capability than is needed for that purpose?

  5. Unfortunately I think you’re wrong, Ecks. Most people have had the jab and are more likely to shrug their shoulders and say, ‘Oh, fuck it, go on then’ than burn Downing Street down. I do not celebrate this fact. And I haven’t had my jabs, and neither has my wife or our kids. But the kids are back at university this autumn and if they bring in the pub/club passports as per this story I think many will find it very hard to continue to reject them.

  6. “What happened to your “its all down to bungling” theories BiS?”

    It’s entirely commensurate with Ecksy. It’s what you see all the time. It’d be some assole thought it was a good idea. The people make the decisions, who haven’t a clue about IT, could authorise it without understanding what they’ve authorised. All buried in an 18 page briefing document they haven’t the wit to comprehend.

  7. @PF
    If you have a modern phone, you phone will know exactly where it is to a couple of metres. That’s in the GPS Then depends on whether & where you’ve enabled share location. A lot of aps won’t work unless you do. I’m not even convinced you can turn off location sharing. There’s some evidence it’s still running on Apple phones even if you’ve disabled it.

  8. Ecks

    A lot of people who have been vaxxed feel quite virtuous about the fact. Many believe that they deserve privileges as a result of their selfless duty and clean status, even if it’s not always articulated quite so bluntly…

    Hence, the battle ahead is not simply against the lying worthless bastard, it’s also created a classic divide and rule in which many of us on the other side of that barricade may now be perceived as unclean.

    Obviously, I hope you are right.

  9. BiS

    “If you have a modern phone”

    I don’t. Actually, that’s not entirely true, in that it can do data, but data has always been switched off, hence my reference to talk and text (ie there is no GPS or anything like that).

    The thought you triggered was simply: the phone has two OSs. The low level one that connects to the towers, and the higher level one that supports features etc. The phone probably has the capable hardware, hence in theory, what’s to stop (via the base OS) a third party from the telecom side surreptitiously taking steps to download/enable features without the user knowing. Doesn’t need GPS to know where I am. Being able to listen to any wireless signals (and not just local Wi-Fi addresses) should be more than sufficient. Just speculating, not my expertise.

  10. Thinking further, I possibly know the answer (re wireless signals). If its basic hardware is restricted to the wavelengths it needs to communicate with a mobile tower at 2G or 3G or whatever the spec, then presumably that’s it. That’s all it can do. Forget Wi-Fi or any other modern local alternatives, it presumably won’t have the hardware in any case. Hence, it’s triangulating and that’s it.

  11. I really know nothing about trace & test apps. But doesn’t the contact proximity side use bluetooth? You could get pretty good location data out of who your bluetooth is shaking hands with. They will likely have GPS. There are all sorts of things are possibilities. Whether they’ve been taken advantage of…

  12. I sneeze in threes

    Fun times if you fake a positive report after getting within proximity of people you want to mess with and get them pinged.

  13. I have a proper GPS module & the software to use it. Got it to produce records of where stuff is buried. Cables, pipes & that. Produces geolocations with lots of numbers after the decimal point. It can handle a dozen satellites at a time. As long as you let it settle down it seems to be accurate to inches.

  14. Got it to produce records of where stuff is buried.

    Treasure, stashes of rum, Doris Entwhistle…

  15. Bloke in North Dorset

    Of all the big tech companies I have some confidence in Apple when it comes to privacy, it’s their only USP and they make a virtue out of it. Remover, they wouldn’t let UK gov build the app they wanted by denying the access to features. If they fail the privacy test by allowing developers background access when the ap has been disabled their market would crash.

    I still think they’re rapacious bastards.

  16. Of all the big tech companies I have some confidence in Apple when it comes to privacy, it’s their only USP and they make a virtue out of it. Remover, they wouldn’t let UK gov build the app they wanted by denying the access to features.

    Not just UK gov, they told the FBI to go fuck themselves when the feds wanted Apple to sidestep the encryption on a suspect’s phone: https://www.theverge.com/2021/4/14/22383957/fbi-san-bernadino-iphone-hack-shooting-investigation (spoiler, they eventually managed to hack their way in by exploiting bugs in the software.)

    How much of that was circuses for the consumption of the masses, is for personal opinion.

  17. You don’t need GPS to locate an active mobile phone. The towers it communicates with and signal strength give the phone company a means of triangulation. Out in the remote sticks it may only be accurate to a sq km or so, but in a big city it’s down to a few metres. Google can do clever stuff using public WiFi networks, as well.

  18. “… triangulation. Out in the remote sticks it may only be accurate to a sq km or so, but in a big city it’s down to a few metres.”


    Thanks, I didn’t know it could be as accurate as that. Though I might guess (in big cities) that, despite the concentration of towers, buildings could significantly reduce that accuracy.

  19. Bloke in North Dorset


    Its not that simple in cities because the signal takes multiple paths eg reflections off buildings and vehicles. Admittedly as more site are built for 5G this becomes less of a problem because there is a better chance of line of sight.

    The lack of accuracy in rural areas is down to lack of sites, for reasonable accuracy you need to be able to receive a signal on 3 sites. (You need 3 bearings to fix your position at sea or on land)

    Timing is also a better measure than signal strength.

  20. @bloke in spain – July 10, 2021 at 12:05 pm

    As long as you let it settle down it seems to be accurate to inches.

    Perhaps… I had a surveyor from the Ordnance Survey visit recently to check some details for the Land Registry and she apologised that she couldn’t get much more accurate than about half-a-metre even though her equipment was indicating to the nearest few millimetres.

    Apparently, GPS can be consistently affected by local topological conditions and their equipment uses an online database of local variations that’s accessed via a built-in mobile phone link – thus the GPS “location” is amended slightly (we’re only talking about 50cm or so) before the “seriously accurate” location is indicated. We’re in the Severn Gorge where mobile signals are flaky at best and her clobber couldn’t get the correction data. Hence half-a-metre… Which IMHO is still bloody astonishing considering it’s being derived from time-based 3-dimensional geometry.

  21. There are a few ways in which it is possible to locate the position of a phone. The obvious way is through the phones GPS system which nowadays is accurate down to the meter, depending how many satellites you are pinging off.

    The other way is of course triangulation through your local cell towers. Accuracy depends on all sorts of things but in an urban environment will be again to the sub-meter level. Out in the sticks the accuracy will be less, but in the uk there are few places where you cant be located to a 30m radius.

    What most people don’t realise of course, is that Google et al also track local wireless hotspots through your phone. Even if you turn wireless off.
    Every mobile phone on the planet is constantly scanning its local environs and recording everything wireless in the area and of course this is linked to the mac address of the hardware. I imagine that its the same for Bluetooth.
    I think it’s next to impossible to carry a mobile phone nowadays without exposing your location.

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