I’ve an idea here!

“This is why we are calling for interested partners to come forward with their innovative ideas and help play a pivotal part in the Government’s plans to improve public health.”

OK.

Dieters could be given supermarket discounts and shopping vouchers under NHS plans to pilot financial rewards for weight loss.

Health chiefs are launching a £6 million pilot scheme that will see incentives offered to those who shed the pounds. Companies such as supermarkets and fitness firms are being asked to bid to run the systems, which could be expanded across the country if they succeed.

Rightie ho. A new brand of biccies. “Worstall’s”.

Sorta Garibaldis dipped in white then in plain chocolate. Available only – ONLY – with the shopping vouchers. Taglne “You Deserve It!”

The restriction to vouchers is that only good little boys and girls who have lost weight deserve such a treat……

13 thoughts on “I’ve an idea here!”

  1. “Available only – ONLY – with the shopping vouchers.”
    Most restricted vouchers are worth less than face value. Is this an experiment to see if vouchers can be worth more than face value in some circumstances?

  2. How about an insurance based healthcare system whereby the fatties pay extra in premiums, which fall when they lose weight?

  3. They’re going to have to watch for unintended consequenses or we could end up with a an epidemic of Christian Bale-esque luvvies one day dick cheney, next concentration camp survivor.

  4. How about this is none of the government’s damn business, and they can branch out only when they start doing their actual job properly.

  5. Beware when the bastards conflate “overweight” and “obese”. The overweight outlive the “normal”. You have to get some distance into the “obese” category before lifespan gets as short as the lifespan of those at the lower end of “normal”. Skinny people are at great risk of a short life too (and an unmerry one, I’d guess).

    As for those who are so fat that it really is bad news, who told them to include lots of carbohydrates in their diet, who told them to use margarine and vegetable oils, who told them to gulp down fruit juices and smoothies? Why, ‘health chiefs’ of course, with decades of unrelenting government dietary propaganda.

    Anyway, if you are so fat that any properly boyish boys point at you and cat-call, lose some weight. It’s not easy so watch some Giles Yeo videos and get started. That’s my guess. It has the great advantage that I call it a guess rather than claiming it’s a revelation from God, or “Science” as she is now known.

  6. “Rightie ho. A new brand of biccies. “Worstall’s”.

    Sorta Garibaldis dipped in white then in plain chocolate. Available only – ONLY – with the shopping vouchers. Taglne “You Deserve It!””

    You need to sell them as ‘Tim Tims’, surely!

  7. @ Henry Crun
    Garibaldis were known as “squashed fly” biscuits when I was young. Eccles Cakes are nothing like that

  8. Innovative idea – ban cars from stopping nearer to the school gates than the bus stop with security cameras and a £200 fine for each offence.

  9. There’s an annoying bridge closure (for cars) near me- detour is about 3 miles down river to get 3 miles on the other side. There’s a pill box next to it so i guess the idea was to annoy invading jerries in the same way. Anyway my annoyance was slightly comforted by the site of lots of kids being dropped off there for them to walk over- about a mile uphill to their school. That’ll learn’em and keep them fit i thought, only a few days later for me to catch a glimpse of a boy and girl on the other side emerging from the village shop at 8.30 in the morning with a packet of crisps each.

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