Not that I have a million dollars of course

Nor do I want to live in the US, less so in PA, possibly even less so in Newton. And yet:

206 Worstall Alley, Newtown, PA 18940

Nice house with a cool address.

Perhaps I should just wait until I can buy “Worstall Court” or “Worstall Castle”?

22 thoughts on “Not that I have a million dollars of course”

  1. £750,000 for a three-bedroom house? That seems expensive for American suburbia. (Especially for something so tacky: brickwork at the front, wood at the back, no usable garden.)

  2. Perhaps I should just wait until I can buy “Worstall Court”

    Well, an “in Worstall’s court” joke is certainly more polite.

  3. Why not change your name and that of your house to match the town and find a road with the town name in it. Something like this…

    Tim Shitterton
    Shitterton House
    35 Shitterton Lane
    Shitterton
    Dorset

  4. Well, there is a tiny little hamlet up in Yorkshire called “Worstall” that I really should visit some day. Then there’s also “Worstall Crags” up there somewhere (t’other side of Ilkely from t’moor) too which I might live in a cave under – although I seem to recall having been taken there as a child.

  5. Dennis, Reminding You That Wogs Always Get To Stupid Faster

    £750,000 for a three-bedroom house? That seems expensive for American suburbia. (Especially for something so tacky: brickwork at the front, wood at the back, no usable garden.)

    $975,000 for a 4,534 sq. ft. townhome isn’t outrageous. You’re talking about Eastern PA here… the gateway to NJ and NY, so $200 a sq. ft. is relatively cheap. Not my kind of place, but there you have it.

    In the US, if you buy a townhome you don’t want to fuck around with a garden. And nobody here builds brick homes anymore. Too expensive when compared to ‘Merican wood frame homes. It’s one of the many reasons we have plenty of affordable homes and Brits don’t (and I make that statement based on the endless complaints about the lack of them – and the tribulations of trying to build woggy homes – that are posted here).

  6. Back to front house, the named ‘Drive’ is what might otherwise be called a mews; access to garages at the back. The brick ‘front’ faces onto a path, overlooking not open fields, nor a fine garden, but a patch of grass and similar houses.
    Interior ugly, everything looks fake ‘reproduction’.

  7. Dennis, Tiresome Denizen of Central Ohio

    Unfortunate color choices, that’s for sure.

    What you’re looking at is a townhome located in a mixed use (retail, restaurants) area dominated by a town square… open space for kids to play and dogs to walk. It’s kind of a trendy thing in ‘Merica these days. We have it all over New Albany, which is one of Central Ohio’s newest upscale suburbs. Garages in the back allow for more efficient use of space and allow for the open space in front. I suppose we could cut our homes in half to get British sizing, and we could install some large, ugly cast-iron radiators in rooms and heating systems that only work intermittently to give our homes an authentic British feel, but around here most people will take that US fake stuff that actually works. And actually gets built.

    I’ve been to Britain more than once, boys… ‘Merica doesn’t have a lock on ugly housing.

  8. I’ll refrain from saying grotesque and just say not to my taste.

    $12,000 property tax pa?

    FFS, Binmen in the US obviously well paid.

  9. Dennis, Your Guide To The USA

    $12,000 in property taxes on a $975,000 house is cheap. I’m paying $6,000 a year on a house with a FMV just under $400,000.

    In most parts of PA property taxes fund schools, county-level services and city-level services. So it’s fund a bit more than the local trash service.

  10. “‘Merican wood frame homes”: I remember once reading an American recommendation to buy a cast iron bath because wooden walls don’t stop bullets. How the whole family was to take refuge in one bath wasn’t explained.

    Who would be firing the bullets? Lots of candidates – bearing in mind Ruby Ridge and Waco, possibly including Fedgov.

  11. @Dennis

    “$200 a sq. ft.”

    Have they always done it this way in the US? Seems to be catching on over here in the UK but was unknown when I bought my house a couple of decades ago. Do they include things like stairs and hallways? And the downstairs loo (if there is one)?

  12. Dennis, Dispensing Wisdom. Or Something.

    I remember once reading an American recommendation to buy a cast iron bath because wooden walls don’t stop bullets. How the whole family was to take refuge in one bath wasn’t explained.

    The lack of that explanation might speak to the quality of the recommendation, don’t you think? And if you don’t want a repeat of Ruby Ridge or Waco, don’t commit serious crimes and then resist with force. Neither Randy Weaver nor David Koresh qualify as innocents, to put it mildly.

    Have they always done it this way in the US? Seems to be catching on over here in the UK but was unknown when I bought my house a couple of decades ago. Do they include things like stairs and hallways? And the downstairs loo (if there is one)?

    For as long as I can remember, yes. The square footage includes everything other than the garage.

  13. Andrew C – worked with a couple of blokes who explicitly did this during the 90s and early 2000s. Sort of made sense if you were trying to compare similar properties in a relatively small area.

    Everyone else just booked a viewing and eyeballed it.

  14. £722K for over 4000sq feet doesn’t seem too bad. The stair case is nothing like grand enough though. And it needs new doors on the cabinets in the kitchen.

  15. That is fucking enormous. I know estate agents can play a few tricks with space, but that bathroom is bigger than most bedrooms over here. The main bedroom could be renamed the town square.

  16. Steven Crook said:
    “Shitterton, Dorset”

    Couple of miles from me. Lovely place. Mostly proud of the name too; tourists kept nicking the sign, so they had a bloody great stone one carved. Parish Councillor (a good bloke) gets phoned up by journalists whenever things are slow and they do another ‘worst place names in
    Britain’ article.

  17. ” Perhaps I should just wait until I can buy “Worstall Court” or “Worstall Castle”? ”

    Surely Worstall Castle high atop Mount Worstall

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *