Unconvinced

If I thought it would work I’d buy one like a shot:

The dilemma of the dancing grannies has prompted some to seek out tech solutions. One went viral online this week: a remote stun gun-style device that claims to be able to disable a speaker from 50 metres away.

Reviews of the item were positive. “Downstairs is finally quiet. For two days the grannies thought their speaker is not working!”, said one on Taobao, China’s version of eBay.

“Great invention, with this tool I will be the boss in the neighbourhood now,” said another. “This is not just a regular product, it is social justice!”

Can’t see how it could work. As in that old sci fi story (where the batteries explode) the energy requirement for cancelling noise over a wide area is pretty big.

21 thoughts on “Unconvinced”

  1. I don’t think it cancels noise, it interferes with the music player. If you can get enough RF into the amplifier circuits, that will play havoc with its behaviour. But ‘enough’ at 50 metres is hard to do and potentially dangerous to the operator (and bystanders) due to large RF fields.

  2. The ‘enough’ RF will be large unless it can be focused, which I don’t think it can that easily. But I doubt vendors care if a few users or bystanders get cancer. It’s China, where Communism is a political system rather than a way of life.

  3. What about something which fires a highly-directional burst of air at the speaker and pops the cone? I’m sure I have seen such a ‘gun’ knocking over a pile of cardboard boxes from several meters away on the telly somewhere.

  4. It’s not going to be anti-sound. The most likely explanation I can come up with on the spur of the moment is that the grannies are using Bluetooth speakers and the device sends some sort of “disconnect” command over Bluetooth. There’s a well known attack on WiFi connections that works the same way.

  5. a remote stun gun-style device that claims to be able to disable a speaker from 50 metres away

    My first assumption was that the ‘speaker’ here was a person

  6. Maffski

    Exactly. And the demented grannies are outside with their battery-powered loud things.

    Tim, I don’t think it’ll work for a live band in the bar over the road…

  7. Anything which will silence ALL the PA speakers in Sainsbury’s gets my vote. Quite apart from the US style “Speak as fast as humanly possible” gibberish, I’m utterly pissed off by the repeated reminders that although muzzles are no longer required, they still want you to suffocate in one anyway. These are (on average) every 3 minutes – are they deliberately trying to alienate people?

  8. @Dave Ward: no, all TfL platforms first! There can’t be anyone in the world who still doesn’t know that the tube is non-smoking….

  9. Bloke in North Korea (Germany province)

    Dancing grannies are one of the more heartwarming bizarrez of visiting China, but I don’t have to live with it.

  10. Microwaves? Cuban Embassy and all that? Probably downright dangerous, given the claimed effect at 50 metres.

  11. A similar thing exists for TVs: it’s branded as TV-B-Gone. Costs about £10, so you’d have to use it often to get your money’s worth.

  12. Dave Ward,
    Sainsbury’s also use their speakers to remind you of how much cheaper Aldi is, and how they’ve price-matched some (but not all) of their products.

  13. A similar thing exists for TVs: it’s branded as TV-B-Gone. Costs about £10, so you’d have to use it often to get your money’s worth.

    I’ve got one on my keychain. Very handy for when I used to go to pubs; also good for some amusement in Dixons/Curry’s/Whateverthey’recalledthesedays if I have to stand around waiting for some customer service droid…

  14. Bloke in North Korea (Germany province)

    “Sainsbury’s also use their speakers to remind you of how much cheaper Aldi is…”

    Imagine how much Waitrose’s sales would increase if they did that.

  15. @ Andrew M & BiNK – Something which is not lost on Joe’s “Colleagues”, at least 3 of whom I’ve seen shopping in Aldi…

  16. “. . . .with this tool I will be the boss in the neighbourhood now,” said another. “This is not just a regular product, it is social justice!”

    Perfect definition of what ‘social justice’ means to those who advocate the loudest for it.

    llater,

    llamas

  17. Time, if it’s the punters at the bar opposite your gaff, try practising the bagpipes on your balcony

  18. They have dancing grannies causing minimal disruption in public parks.

    We have upper-middle class protestors closing down key motorways with the tacit compliance of the police.

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