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I predict an outbreak of leukaemia in Skellefteå

Recall that old Sellafield thing? So:

If Northvolt is going to succeed in its plans to build Europe’s biggest battery factory, it and its host city need to convince thousands of people to move to the edge of the Arctic Circle, to a region where snow cover is constant from November to April and where the winter sun shines for no more than four hours a day.

Leukaemia is, oddly, something that can be caught. Large mixtures of people from many different places seems to cause outbreaks. Thus the Sellafield cluster – all those workers from all over.

I predict the same here. Without, of course the insistence that it’s all because nucular. Indeed, I predict it’ll never be mentioned.

19 thoughts on “I predict an outbreak of leukaemia in Skellefteå”

  1. Bloke in North Korea (Germany Province)

    It’s funny how population mixing results in one cluster at one time right next to something that would give us high index of suspicion for cause (and said something would be very interested in not having to pay out massive wads of compensation) but never seems to result in similar clusters anywhere else, or even in the same place at different times, despite ongoing population mixing.

    Neither are we told which infectious agent is allegedly brought in (we have a strong candidate for Hodgkin’s lymphoma but that’s not a childhood leukaemia).

    Looks like another unfalsifiable hypothesis to me. They are very much in vogue these days, mostly to do with an actual transmissible disease.

    I do, however, with much greater confidence than for childhood leukaemia, predict an MS cluster.

  2. Yup. For years people thought it was the plant, until someone observed the same thing about Corby (lots of Jocks descending on Northamptonshire), and also realised that it happened with some US military training camps in WW2. I forget the guy’s name, but he probably deserves a gong for figuring it out.

  3. its host city need to convince thousands of people to move to the edge of the Arctic Circle, to a region where snow cover is constant from November to April and where the winter sun shines for no more than four hours a day.

    It sounds so much better when you put it that way instead of saying “Scotland”.

  4. Bloke in North Korea (Germany Province)

    Actually Steve, it sounds like Scotland without the midges. And without Wee Jimmy Krankie.

    And with more winter sun.

  5. Scotland without the midges. And without Wee Jimmy Krankie.

    That sounds pretty nice actually. Although Scotland would be a great place if you just got rid of Krankie and her supporters. As I have been advocating in the my Sectarian Swap plan, where the Protestant population of NI moves to Scotland and the Catholic Jocks replace them. United Ireland & ditch devolution votes to follow shortly after.

    A much better way of spending £200bn than HS2.

  6. Leukaemia’ll be the last of their problems. It’s probably something they’ll welcome. As they’ll be praying for those long cold winter nights. I’ve been in that part of the world. One word. Mosquitoes. No, that doesn’t do it justice. MOSQUITOES!. Not a few of the buggers are a pain in the arse here. But clouds of them thick enough to walk on. Ravenously hungry & you’re the only meal for 50 miles.

  7. Ref clusters of cancers. Someone did a survey of long-established military installations in the UK. Found clusters of cancer around a high proportion of them.
    The military installations were the castles built by the Normans.
    Seek and you find. Or, just lies, damn lies and correlations.

  8. Large mixtures of people from many different places seems to cause outbreaks.
    So we discount the location as a cause. But the large mixture seems even less probable, random mixing would not concentrate cases.
    There must be some common characteristic, as yet unknown, shared by the many and varied population that moves to these places. They already share some cultural traits – opportunism, risk taking, second son, higher cognitive working class, whatever – so it would be no surprise if there was a medical propensity as well.

  9. I predict a higher incidence of violence and mayhem as people who aren’t used to being cooped up together are forced to by the local climate.

    Cabin fever wins…

  10. That’s Kinlen’s hypothesis – if memory serves he spotted that a rise of some sort of cancer that people had been associating with a nuclear power station in the US had started before any nuclear fuel was moved on site. The Windscale case was good – a thorough enquiry ruled out a radioactive cause (while catching out the management in having lied about a radioactive leak) but Kinlen’s notion fitted the bill. There have been other cases, commonly when lots of urban people are plonked into a rural environment where people have less immunity to some communicable diseases. A famous case was MS in the Faroe Islands after the Second German War – probably brought to the islands by occupying British soldiers. Here’s a bit of discussion.

  11. Unusually for someone in construction, he started his career as a theatre director, and the day before the curling, he was checking out some improvisational stage shows at the Sara Cultural Centre.

    Unusual, but still the Guardian found him.

    . . . the new projects and their suppliers will create at least 20,000 jobs, with 20,000 extra public sector workers needed . . .

    One each!

    . . . everyone welcomes an influx of 20- to-40-year-olds, wherever they come from.

    Not for long will they welcome the 20- to-40-year-olds of no description.
    That 20 storey wooden cultural centre’s a gonner.

  12. Cancer is viral. That’s been known for a long time. A cure for cancer would be for everyone to bank genetic material while they are young and cancer-free. When you get cancer, they engineer a virus to modify your DNA back to what it was before the cancer took it over. The technology isn’t quite there yet despite decades of research.

  13. @Southerner Good luck with that “therapy” given the underlying mechanism of “cancer”. You’d shut your body’s self-repair and replenishment mechanisms down as well…

    And while some cancers are (likely) caused by viruses, there are plenty that are caused by other things affecting us, the dreaded Oxydane and its metabolic derivatives for starters. Or even the nasty habit of DNA itself to spontaneously mutate because of Physics and Chemistry.

    I do wonder what bit of Youtube Enlightenment gave rise to your statement. I need to add it to my growing collection of Proof of idiocy.

  14. I can personally confirm that mosquitos in Greenland are the size of hummingbirds, and very thirsty, particularly when you’re the only mammal for 10km.

  15. Having lived in southern Finland I’d say that if you only have 4 hours of daylight in winter you only have 4 hours of darkness in summer.

    In fact it’s likely to be 4 hours of gloom in the winter and 4 hours of dusk (if that) in the summer.

    You soon get used to it, take it for granted actually.

  16. @MC
    Not only Corby, clusters all over UK

    @MC, November 19, 2021 at 9:45
    Sounds good to me Glasgow and Scotland would be a much better place if all the tartan republicans moved to RoI, not NI
    Why not NI? The poison dwarf would ban all the road races

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