Today’s business idea

A word of warning before you go toy shopping this Christmas: beware the rapping cactus.

The toy, marketed as educational, may teach your children more than you want them to know, as a woman in Brampton, Ontario, discovered the hard way. The miniature, bright-green dancing cactus Ania Tanner bought sings in English, Spanish and Polish while squirming to the beat. After buying it for her granddaughter, Tanner discovered that one of the songs in its repertoire was an explicit tune about cocaine and hopelessness.

“​​It just so happens that I am Polish, and when I started to listen to the songs and I heard the words … I was in shock,” she told CTV News. “I thought: what is this, some kind of joke?”

OK, so the production line exists, the factory, the templates, the molds.

Changing what it says is just a matter of programming the chip. So, create a chip that is nothing but swearing. Real, total, blue. You’ll end up selling at least one to bro’s everywhere. Got to be really and totally blue though, to shock a CPO blue.

6 thoughts on “Today’s business idea”

  1. Also, the Only Fools and Horses episode, and probably Minder as well.

    Or, just rude rugby songs or something. After all Santa only comes once a year in your stocking.

  2. There are lots of rude novelty items out there, like Cards Against Humanity. To succeed it needs a hook to contemporary culture. Five years ago you could have sold one programmed with Donald Trump’s rudest quotes (“grab ‘em by the pussy”) or Nigel Farage’s diatribes (“who elected you?”). The deluxe model would give you free updates for a year.

    Not sure what the nearest thing would be today – we’re short of good orators.

  3. “A word of warning before you go toy shopping this Christmas: beware the rapping cactus.’

    OK, but the cactus wrapping is more dangerous to children.

  4. Been done… Furbies.. 3:)

    I am, of course, not going to educate people on how to interfere with production soundfiles on generic chips ordered pre-loaded from Teh Chinah’s… 0:)

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