Sideways. Pineapple. Untrimmed. Fuck ‘Em

TUBE UNION RMT today confirmed a new wave of strike action by tube drivers over the outrageous imposition of rosters‎ by London Underground bosses.

“So, John, you’re doing 9 am to 3 pm, early lunch. Bobby, 10 to 4, late lunch. That seems to sort out drivers to trains”

“All Out!”

Fuck ’em. Bolt those robots in and fuck ’em sideways with an untrimmed pineapple.

23 thoughts on “Sideways. Pineapple. Untrimmed. Fuck ‘Em”

  1. My old TOC has announced a ‘Sunday service’ each weekday as the number of commuters has plummeted, trains are running around near empty and income has crashed.

    The NUR / RMT always was the first to shout ‘Everybody out brothers’ of the two rail unions (Tosser doesn’t count). ASLEF (anagram for ‘total and complete bastard’ according to Rik) being a little more ‘grown up’.

  2. Any reference to the Neasden depot reminds me of vintage Private Eye’s Sid and Doris Bonkers.

    In this instance the union’s laughably unrealistic stance strongly suggests they believe it is still the 1960’s (and presumably that their demands will be met in full over beer and sandwiches at No.10).

  3. John, my favourite was the early 70’s match where the ref, Sid Himmler was electrocuted by one of the hundred or so, 3 bar electric fires the owner had placed on the pitch in an attempt at emulating the ‘under soil heating’ recently installed at Highbury.

    Ashen-faced Neasden supremo Ron Knee is 59.

  4. When the driverless Ubers hit the streets (presuming Kahn and his relatives accept the enormous bung that will required) will anyone travel by tube?

    And John, I think Chardonnay and champers will be appropriate, as Carrie might want to see a bit of rough, but not dine like it…

  5. We don’t have to do anything, except let them strike and at the next round of pay negotiations offer 0% and stick to it. They’ll strike, but the fact is that they’re overpaid and could only take so much because they held commuters to ransom. The commuters can last a longer longer without trains than the rail unions can last without pay.

    To echo Addolff, I took an 8am weekday train to London last year. I had a table to myself, as did all the other people on laptops. There were more girls going shopping than people going to offices. Paddington was like mid-afternoon busy, not early morning. I have to go to Gloucester tomorrow, and I’ll bet the carriage has so few people it would be cheaper and greener to put us all in taxis.

  6. “strongly suggests they believe it is still the 1960’s” with Mr be-jellied backbone at No. 10 they may be right.

  7. A positive suggestion: the chaps who got fed up with long distance lorry driving – wouldn’t it be pretty easy to teach them to drive trains?

  8. Is it still the case (was it ever?) that tube driver jobs are only advertised to existing TFL staff. I don’t see why it is considered (paid) as if it is much more difficult job then that of a bus or tram driver? If they seem to enjoy striking so much replace the lot of them, I’m sure there’d be plenty of applicants.

  9. I have to object…

    The correct way to introduce an untrimmed pineapple to proctologist territory is longitudinally, round end first for maximum discomfort and said proctologist’s despair.
    A quick study of the leafy crown reveals exactly why this is so.


  10. These arseholes really do need putting in a box. As someone has suggested 0% pay rise and then I’d freeze it for 10 years or so, untill it gets to a more normal level say average +10%.

  11. Wait, so they weren’t using rosters before? Then how did they work it? Everyone just showed up and milled around until they felt like driving?

  12. Regarding strikes, I have some questions:

    How many people are employed at Grunwick today?
    How many people are employed as below-ground coal miners today?
    How many women are employed in Ford Dagenham stitching seat covers (they made a film about the women striking there)?

    I could go on, but it doesn’t need a fortune-teller to read the runes …

  13. You never see “wheel tappers listerners” anymore. With progress some jobs are destined to disappear.

  14. @ Agammamon
    I think RMT wants the rosters to be allocated by the union members rather than the management. If that means there are gaps in the services when no drivers choose to be working, well it’s only passengers who are left standing on platforms and no union members are inconvenienced.

  15. @Bloke in Texas there is already automation but union/safety rules mean you still need people on the twin, I believe in London they refer to them as train captains
    Not just London I have heard of other automated systems where the unions have all sorts of concessions or safety rules to make sure there’s still people paid drivers wages

  16. BNiC

    Yeah, I know.

    But still, digging their own graves and exulting in their power to do so isn’t a good long term strategy.

    Unions should be classified and treated in law as service companies. You strike in breach of contract and you’re liable…

    Yeah, dream on….

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