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Twats

NOVA 4
Ultra-processed food (UPF) Foods that are industrial formulations of substances derived from foods, and that contain cosmetic additives and little, if any, whole foods (e.g., carbonated beverages, French fries, or manufactured bread).

A chip butty is ultraprocessed food. ‘N’ they can fuck off ‘n’ all.

22 thoughts on “Twats”

  1. I try really hard to avoid manufactured bread, but here in this middle-class area all the naturally-occurring bread gets picked from the verges and hedgerows almost as soon as it appears.

  2. Harry Haddock's Ghost

    And this week’s term that has no actual basis in the science of dietetics is “ultra processed”. See also “Junk Food”.

  3. Definition of “whole food” required. Chopping the leaves off a carrot means it’s not whole. What about rhubarb? You really don’t want to be eating the leaves there. Is milling wheat grain for flour verborten, or does it depend what happens next? Maybe Organik™ wheat gets a free pass, I dunno. Maybe you can only eat raw turnips the shape of a …

    I also like that cosmetic additives (presumably colourants) are, by this definition necessary to be an ultra-processed food. So white pasta is OK but green/red pasta isn’t? Value (off-)white bread is OK, but Hovis isn’t?

    It looks like much fun could be had with this.

  4. On similar lines:

    NHS is failing women! Doctors have no knowledge of female problems…
    (most doctors are women)
    NHS designed by men and run for men…
    (most NHS staff are women)

    Why are the sisterhood so catastrophically failing their their peers?

  5. Carbonated drinks “ultra” processed? Are they ****. It’s water, flavour, fizz. It’s so “ultra” processes you can do it in your own kitchen, and the media unfailingly shows us wholesome American kiddies selling the stuff on their front lawns.

  6. So a pie is ‘minimally processed’ if it is home-made but ‘ultra-processed’ if it is made by someone else. This is not science, it’s a weird cult.

  7. Surely all these ‘milk’ products made out of nuts and oats and soy etc must qualify as ultra processed then? There’s not exactly much natural about them.

  8. @NoelC,

    May I beg to remind you that ‘cult’ is not the correct spelling for these people, and once you have pluralised the corrected word, you have to get the pronoun correct, as in:

    They’re weird cu(l)ts

  9. It’s only “ultra processed” if it doesn’t comply with der fuhrer Schwab’s strength through joy volks diet.

    I expect soon to be told to refer to the dining room as the lebens room.

  10. Manufactured bread? All bread is manufactured!

    The same basic ingredients: wheat/rye flour, water, yeast, salt.

  11. Bloke in the Fourth Reich

    The wheat is ultra processed. Dontcha know, you should be using spelt, or emmer, or einkorn!

  12. Bloke in the Fourth Reich

    To riff off Mark, Führer Klaus has no intention that your weekly bug allocation will be anything but “ultra processed”. These people think that ultra-efficiency is some kind of life goal, for the peasants, that is. Cooking your own bugs will not be seen as any more efficient than heating your own pod.

    So, paradoxically, we have an alliance of convenience to make with some of the wokies.

  13. Bloke in North Dorset

    “ And this week’s term that has no actual basis in the science of dietetics is “ultra processed”. See also “Junk Food”.”

    Mrs BiND recently watched a BBC propaganda hour (I believe they prefer the term documentary) in which Michael Mosley was allowed to spend an hour railing against junk food and the government for not banning it, despite saying they would.

    At the end I asked her if he’d defined junk food, apparently he hadn’t. That’s why it hasn’t been been banned, nobody has been able to come up with a legal definition that is coherent and would stand up in court and won’t be ridiculed in the tabloid press and on social media.

  14. At some point some smart alec is going to work out it is humanity that is the problem! We have to save ourselves from ourselves

  15. To “thought crime” and “face crime” can be added “food crime”.

    I think even Orwell would be appalled if he could see this.

    It’s not a bug it’s a feature takes on a whole new meaning.

  16. Harry Haddock's Ghost

    Of course the definition of “Junk Food” and “Ultra processed food” that they mean is “food that poor people eat”.

    That is why they want to make it more expensive, as well fed surfs are harder to control.

  17. There was, in my youth when hunger rather than obesity was the problem for the poor, a description of “junk food” which was stuff containing calories but little or no protein and/or vitamins that our bodies also need.
    It was a description, rather than a definition, because we distinguished between supplying high-calorie meals (apple pie, jelly and ice-cream, suet pudding, steak-and-kidney pudding, …) to children who spent all their free time playing football and middle-aged adults eating junk because they felt unhappy or bored.

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