Or, perhaps, better news for the lovers of old men
FUTURA MEDICAL STANDS PROUD 30% ON TEST RESULTS – WHY?
Viagra, the brand name, or sildenafil the actual drug, is used today as a – temporary – cure for erectile disfunction. It is taken orally, “the little blue pill” and works for most, most of the time, but it does have certain possible side effects. Topical application might have two benefits – might note – in fewer such side effects as the drug is not throughout the system and also a faster response time. 10 minutes instead of an hour perhaps. This is what is being tested.
So, the company. Futura, has got that topical cream through the latest set of tests. Might be on sale OTC in the US by spring next year.
So, now the task is to beat that headline. We want the most fnarr fnarr that is still allowable (and legal) on a stock market site. You have a maximum of 69 characters*.
*Yes, yes, I know, but that is actually the limit.
Futura beats off stiff competition.
Cream in your jeans with cream in your jeans.
For those interested in more serious medical and medical treatment issues, this assessment of actuarial findings in respect of Covid and the vaccines is worth reading:
https://roundingtheearth.substack.com/p/reanalysis-of-the-society-of-actuaries?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
Hard science shafting women.
Enough with the COVIDiocy @Interested. Now is the time for euphemistic dick jokes.
How’s about “From soft to hard in one coat”
Rub some in and rub one out.
Priapic profits promised by proof of proud pill potency.
I do like that one. Punchy.
Futura puts lead in your pencil!
Futura makes you a hard man!
Futura: she’ll love you for it!
Futura: so hard to beat!
Futura: more than a mouthful…
Futura stiffens!
Futura: rise to the occasion!
Cont’d p.94…
Surely what’s needed is a good brand name. How about Futura Fuckassist?
Grease the pole to enter the hole
Announcing the launch of V-Rub: Rocket science, the hard way, in 10 minutes.
No man has ever run a 5 minute mile with a hard on. But in the futura. . .
Hmmmmmm.
Trial data, rather, trial conduct, needs very careful reading. Baseline-endpoint comparisons generally crap. In unblindable trials always crap. Eight out of ten doctors also feel better after a pint of Guinness.
Press releases great, of course, meaning misleading. Wondering how they could get a Q1/2023 approval – ah – device, not drug. Then, wondering how they could brazen straight to OTC, or why they would want to, with a topical viagra. Or why Pfizer have never done it. Formulation switch is, after all, the oldest trick in the book to beat the patent cliff. And of course, it doesn’t contain viagra, though the press very cleverly implies it does.
So with my generally skeptical attitude, and specifically to this “medical device”, my entry channels a much-lampooned marketing slogan:
“Apply directly to head. Apply directly to head. Apply directly to head.”
About 43 years ago, at Oxford, I briefly tried LSD, cannabis and psilocybin mushrooms. I found the experiences interesting but trivial, synthetic and ultimately rather boring compared to real life. So no more for me.
40+ years later, I have had radiotherapy – and some (ghastly!) hormone therapy – for prostate cancer. Afterwards, I briefly needed Viagra; but the experience reminded me of my experience of LSD etc – my erection felt synthetic and rather unreal — particularly as it preceded full arousal. Nevertheless, it ‘worked’; but it somehow wasn’t the real thing…
As for Futura’s topical application, I foresee women complaining about the health risks to them of the chemicals involved.
“As for Futura’s topical application, I foresee women complaining about the health risks to them of the chemicals involved.”
I suspect that is the one thing they have nothing to worry about.
“MED3000 is a unique formulation of DermaSys® using volatile components specifically tailored for the treatment of ED.
…
MED3000 works through a unique evaporative mode of action. MED3000’s combination of volatile components creates a novel action that stimulates nerve sensors in the highly innervated glans penis by a cooling and recovery warming effect, …”
Now, what “volatile components” might evaporate causing a cooling and recovery warming effect? Does it matter?
And if, following their diagram, it results in NO release in the capillaries of the glans, how does that NO get to where it is needed (hint: capillaries return to the venous circulation but we need more NO in the arterial supply to the penis).
One might go so far as to conclude it isn’t even homoeopathic.
It gets better and better. They are completely open about this:
https://www.proactiveinvestors.co.uk/companies /news/946551/how-futura-medical-turned-med3000-into-a-near-billion-pound-opportunity-946551.html
They have literally rediscovered regression to the mean, and baseline endpoint in unblinded trial effect, and are using it openly to promote a product.
Tim, fix yer spam trap.
Please
BITFR
“I suspect that is the one thing they have nothing to worry about.”
Yes. Until women’s magazines and female-dominated social media become hysterical…
Futura. For men who want Shaft to be more than a movie.
For those interested in more serious medical and medical treatment issues, this assessment of actuarial findings in respect of Covid and the vaccines is worth reading:
Posting this in a thread for dick jokes seems to suggest you need to get laid sooner rather than later. I’d suggest you look into participating in the clinical trials right away.
Dennis – maybe consider setting up your own blog if you want to police comments sections.
Dennis – maybe consider setting up your own blog if you want to police comments sections.
Yes sir, Mr. Murphy!
(Get laid sooner rather than later.)
“Yes. Until women’s magazines and female-dominated social media become hysterical”
Tim could hedge his bets by writing something for Teen Cosmopolitan on the risks of getting dihydrogen monoxide halfway up your Hindu Kush.
Tim could hedge his bets by writing something for Teen Cosmopolitan on the risks of getting dihydrogen monoxide halfway up your Hindu Kush.
To get published in CosmoGirl or Teen Vogue, Tim would have to pose as a 26 year-old transsexual male lesbian identifying as Meghan Markle’s two-headed love child.
I’m not sure he could pull that off, although I wouldn’t mind seeing him try.
I notice that at Glorious Goodwood, Silkie Wilkie came second. Going on the Firm side.
“…a 26 year-old transsexual male lesbian identifying as Meghan Markle’s two-headed love child.”
Wonderful!!
“Be careful with Viagra, it can be dangerous!”
“Well, if she dies, she dies!”
Futura Medical has a new product that is easy to beat
I don’t suppose anyone under 70 will get “Just a dab will do ya.”