In different-sex relationships, women do around 65% of the physical household work. Chores that are routine – cooking and cleaning, for instance – tend to fall to women, while intermittent chores, such as sorting out finances or mowing the lawn, are more likely to be done by men. “This means that the unpaid female role’s to-do list is relentless,” writes Mangino. After all, it doesn’t really matter if the lawn doesn’t get mowed, but try ignoring laundry for a month. Add the burden of cognitive labour – remembering birthdays, organising play dates – which disproportionately falls to women in heterosexual relationships, and it is exhausting.
So, does similar specialisation occur within non-heterosexual households? One more domestic than the other? If so then we’ve something about specialisation, not sex, don’t we?
Further, what’s the outside the household split of work? Is that also 75/35?
In same-sex relationships, domestic labour is more equal, “but can still fall back into those roles”, says Mangino (she talks about male and female roles, drawn from traditional gendered divides, rather than men and women).
I’d take that to mean that we do see that split in same-sex relationships. The not there being the hope, the fall back the reality.
Since when was sorting out the finances intermittent?
Oh the hardship! To have to move clothes a few feet and click a button.
When I was a kid, I organised my play dates; when I was younger, they tended to be for my mother as much as me. As for birthdays, if only someone had invented a device that could remind you of these things.
Strange that there’s less concern about the specialisation in complaining, but I suppose that would undermine the Guardian’s unique selling-point.
75/35?
Like those arithmetically challenged sports people who claim to put 110% into their training? 🙂
i.e. he should not only bring home the bacon but also clear up after me. It’s a mystery why marriage rates are falling, isn’t it?
PS. Any hotel will tell you which sex creates the most work for housekeeping. Hint, it isn’t the blokes.
Interesting that they consider mowing the lawn an intermittent task that can be discounted. Whilst this hot year is a little different that most, normally for me this “irrelevant” task includes walking up to 4 miles behind a lawn mower. If I’m lucky I get a few weeks off in the winter after all the fallen leaves are shifted and the grass starts growing again.
Of course any task you don’t do yourself it always to be considered minor.
Add the burden of cognitive labour – remembering birthdays, organising play dates – which disproportionately falls to women in heterosexual relationships, and it is exhausting.
Remembering to buy a birthday card or collect your child from another Mum’s house is “exhausting” “cognitive labour” for women, but for some reason we should still let them vote and wear clothes. “¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
Chores that are routine – cooking and cleaning, for instance – tend to fall to women, while intermittent chores, such as sorting out finances or mowing the lawn, are more likely to be done by men.
Joke’s on you, bigots. My wife does all those things.
In same-sex relationships, domestic labour is more equal
Nice to know that lezzers take turns on the hoover when they’re not committing domestic violence against each other.
“Talk about: ‘We’ve both been raised in this gendered culture and if we’re going to make a change, we have to think about why we do things a certain way,’”
Sorry, love, I wasn’t listening.
There are numerous benefits, she says, especially for the partner who will end up doing less boring housework. For this person, usually a woman, a lower domestic load can mean a boost in earning power, says Mangino, because of the “extra capacity, energy, interest to put your hat in the ring for the promotion, or to take on a management role.
Feminists will never let go of their goofy 60’s fantasy that being a disposable wage slave sending more than half the sweat of your brow to HMRC is empowering, somehow.
Mangino asked her 40 equal-partner men what they had gained from an equitable home life. “They would say: ‘I have a wonderful relationship with my spouse; we have a pretty decent sex life. I have a great relationship with my kids. I feel like I can be myself at home. I don’t have to perform masculinity – I don’t have to be the strong guy all the time.’”
What a poof!
“Oh the hardship! To have to move clothes a few feet and click a button.” – and then hang it out to dry/transfer to the dryer, iron it (if such a thing still applies), fold it, match up the socks and finally put it all away in various drawers and wardrobes.
Spoken like someone who doesn’t do the task.
I did the washing for our house for many years. It’s trivial work. Annoying because it takes a while for the machine though, so there’s some timing involved.
Now ironing is a major drag. Much worse. I do my own, and would swap it for the washing in an instant.
If your clothes don’t need ironing, then washing with modern machines is a minor job. Unless you are one of those fanatics that wash everything after one use.
My mother is of an age where she knows other women who have been widowed. There’s a common theme among her tales of these people – namely that quite often the newly widowed woman goes into a sort of downward spiral, both physically and mentally once their husband has died, because they are incapable of coping with all the things the husband had taken care of outside the home. He did all the finances, dealt with the tax man, got the car taxed, MOT’d and repaired, dealt with the garden and its accompanying machinery, managed home repairs etc etc. Basically the man would predominantly deal with anything where the rest of the world interacted with the home life, while the woman dealt with stuff within the home. And while the former may not be as relentless as the latter, the consequences of not doing it correctly are far greater than if you don’t do the washing or hoovering for a while. Don’t pay your council tax and you’ll end up in court. Forget to tax and MOT your car, ditto. Have an accident with no insurance, world of pain. Ignore all the taxman’s letters, eventually its going to catch up with you. Without the man to deal with all that real world stuff, their lives begin to fall apart. Whereas a widowed man may end up living in squalor, his taxes will be paid and his car working correctly.
Its all grist to my theory that women exist in a bubble that is no more than one degree separated from themselves, usually meaning immediate family, and maybe close friends. If you’re inside that bubble they’ll move heaven and earth to help and protect you. Outside of it, meh. You are of no interest to them, so whether you live or die makes little difference. Whereas men have always had to interact with the rest of the world on a daily basis, so actually are the more empathetic sex, they are far more likely to see the world through the eyes of a random stranger than a woman is.
She doesn’t say how much work those men did outside the home … I bet it was below the male average.
The classical reason why wives did the housework is that husbands spent their days earning money “by the sweat of their brow”. Since men still work, on average, far more hours in paid employment/self-employment than women (closer to double than equal) it is not surprising that women, on average, spend more time on housework.
There is also a longer commuting time for men, but that isn’t significant compared to the difference in working hours.
@ Geoffers
As someone who used to do the task, but no longer does because my wife chose it when we agreed to split the housework between us, I can tell you that while it is time-absorbing it isn’t heavy labour (as it was when one had put wet clothes through the mangle before hanging them out on the line) nor a noticeable hardship.
“she talks about male and female roles, drawn from traditional gendered divides, rather than men and women”
Talk about reinforcing gender stereotypes…
“Add the burden of cognitive labour – remembering birthdays, organising play dates – which disproportionately falls to women in heterosexual relationships, and it is exhausting.”
Maybe… Of course, it’s the actual women themselves that are dead-set on remembering all those little things and organise all manner of social things around them.
A kind of social autoflagellation..
Add the burden of cognitive labour – remembering birthdays…
There’s a thing. Why are women so good at remembering birthdays & men generally aren’t? I’ve even been known to forget my own birthday before now. Thankfully, with the current bint, despite her having told me hers repeatedly I’ve got a copy of her Brasilian passport. So it’s only been a matter of putting hourly prompts in the phone calender for the couple of days before. As long as I remember when I wake up on the actual day to give her the prezzy I should be safe.
Mangino ? is that what a bloke in a frock – sorry trans woman aspires to?
Of course picture is of a black man and woman – so one of the few black dudes that sticks around?
I do ALL the ironing (does that make me gay) as well as mow the lawn and all the other manly things.
BiS – women remember everything, so they can win arguments.
@Grikath:
Au contraire, I’ve done all my own housework for over a decade now. I recommend largely identical socks.When that fails, sort them as you hang – takes no extra time.
Ironing is indeed a drag, but most of it is as skippable as their example of mowing the lawn (probably more so). However, it’s also a good opportunity for telly or an audiobook or something.
The rest is pretty quick and easy. Probably a bit more time consuming for a larger household, but hardly trying.
“remembering birthdays” — do any men actually care about this? When it’s your birthday you just tell your mates and go down the pub. Or not.
1. Women sort out the finances, not men.
2. Laundry isn’t an every day thing – it’s as intermittant as ‘mowing the lawn’. And if she thinks that’s easy, get out there in 90 degree heat and start weeding and cutting
3. The cognitive labor of rembering birthdays? You remember birthdays *because you care*. Also, it’s 2022 – put a reminder in your phone.
4. You need to sort out playdates because of the way you’ve decided to raise your children. Let them out of the house.
5. Most of this sounds like complaints about being a stay-at-home spouse. Well, as a SAHS these things are your *job*. Managing a household is work.
6. It doesn’t sound like this person has ever shared a life and household as an adult. These all sound like complaints you get about married life from someone who’s never been married.
“Geoffers
August 16, 2022 at 8:45 am
“Oh the hardship! To have to move clothes a few feet and click a button.” – and then hang it out to dry/transfer to the dryer, iron it (if such a thing still applies), fold it, match up the socks and finally put it all away in various drawers and wardrobes.
Spoken like someone who doesn’t do the task.”
The hardship, utter hardship, of watching TV and drinking a beer while you iron some shirts.
I spent 21 years ironing shirts and pants and shining my boots – not exactly hard labor.
“The unpaid female”
Hey, here’s a thought… instead of paying wages, employers should just pay all their staff’s bills for them and provide a roof over their heads. HMRC would be totally floored. It’s amazing nobody’s ever thought of it before.
I’ve cleared 100% of blocked drains and sewers and 100% of emptying the chemical toilet when we’re away in our motorhome.
I’ve also done 100% of the ironing, not least because of the mess she made of her own clothes before we got married and like Aggammamon I was in the Army and doing civilians clothes is quite easy. She was forbidden from going anywhere near my uniform with an iron. She ignored it once before we got married, thinking she was being helpful, and it took hours to get the tram lines out of my trousers.
Mrs. S. does finances, car tax and insurance etc.,since retiring I do just about everything else. I’m perfectly happy as I am now so time rich. I also appreciate the fact that I would probably still be working if she hadn’t been so hot on pension plans in the past few decades.
Prof Henry Higgins: If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Of course not!
Prof Henry Higgins: If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Nonsense.
Prof Henry Higgins: Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Colonel Hugh Pickering: Never.
Prof Henry Higgins: Well, why can’t a woman be like us?
Stupid woman displaying her stupidity
cooking, laundry and cleaning, intermittent chores, such as sorting out finances or mowing the lawn
…and fixing everything, washing cars, tax returns…
That mostly falls to me as Mrs Pcar is fecking useless and inefficient at almost anything beyond her job & sex
btw This occurred to me, again, yesterday:
Women opressed? Look at clothing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIwKvavygJg