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Possibly not quite grasped the point here

My partner doesn’t masturbate – and gets frustrated when we don’t have sex
Parenting and housework take up so much of my time. Must I be responsible for his sexual satisfaction as well?

Yes, yes, you should.

This is one of the bits where Judaism gets the marriage deal right. Realistic even we might say. Because it’s also the husband’s duty – duty note – to make sure the wife is getting as much as she wants, how she wants and when she wants. Satisfyingly too.

Now, of course, splits twixt cup and lip and all that but the deal is supposed to be fairly obvious. In return for monogamy, that exclusivity, there’s access.

9 thoughts on “Possibly not quite grasped the point here”

  1. The idea of man and wife having equal and reciprocal rights is a Christian innovation.

    “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.”

    The traditional Jewish view is of men having full liberty, but unloved wives (in polygamous marriages) have a right and a share.

  2. “Doesn’t masturbate” – I’m going to call bullshit on that.

    Maybe he doesn’t masturbate to you, madam, but …

  3. I can recall the comment made by a friend when our Pam became a sex therapist, “People taking advice on sex, from an Australian?”, to which I replied, “Yes, but she’s giving that advice to Americans, so the result should be hilarious. “

  4. We also have a system in place for divorce, although if I remember correctly it really became a practice due to the Holocaust (missing and killed spouses created a dilemma there). There’s a document you receive called a “get” that officiates the split on religious grounds. When I got divorced, my grandfather said “you need a get…a get-the-hell-out-of-there.”

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