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This is easy

The solution to this is the multi-person gallows that has been in development for so many decades already:

Today, a service for the Queen of Service. But what then? What is the best tribute, once the last notes of the Last Post have faded away? The answer is surely obvious: a movement to encourage more people to serve community and country. Queen Elizabeth’s Volunteer Army, at your service.

The gallows being there to hang any and every bureaucrat, clipboard wielder, document checker and official organiser of such voluntary activities.

For if you stop actively preventing people from volunteering to aid their neighbours then more people will actively volunteer to aid their neighbours.

17 thoughts on “This is easy”

  1. During the pandemic, more than 4.6 million volunteered for the first time. Vaccination centres were hives of busy retirees in yellow tabards, scribbling on clipboards and taking the fight to Omicron

    Polly Filler is pining for the lockdowns.


    Politicians have been wary of wading into “do-gooding” territory ever since David Cameron’s Big Society. But though the BS (with its unfortunate acronym) was easily lampooned and a bit woolly, its core argument — that people should be encouraged to play a more active role in society — was sound

    It’s just a shame about what he did to Libyan and Syrian society before fucking up our society with his eco-bullshit.

    The atomised age we are in has many yearning to feel a stronger sense of belonging and community.

    Are there no Village In Bloom committees? No Neighborhood Watches?

    So what could this new, national movement look like? It could be branded with something illustrious, like Queen Elizabeth’s Voluntary Service or the Queen Elizabeth Pledge (a challenge to reach 96 hours of service, perhaps, for every year of her life). It could launch with a major advertising blitz along the lines of the army’s rousing Be The Best campaign; a call to Play Your Part. It could include a new Crisis Reserves to help in times of emergency, from flooding to wildfires to future pandemics; an NHS Reserves to assist in times of severe overstretch; an Environmental Reserves to plant trees and maintain our shared green spaces.

    This all sounds extremely gay.

    in liberty-loving France they are introducing compulsory civic service to promote national unity and community spirit. Why not here?

    Answers on the back of a stamped, self-addressed lion.

  2. “…in liberty-loving France they are introducing compulsory civic service…”

    I’m not sure this falls under the definition of “Volunteering”.

  3. The atomised age we are in has many yearning to feel a stronger sense of belonging and community.

    I don’t know about you, but nothing makes me feel belonging like sterilised state-sanctioned community drives organised by distant bureaucracies. ‘We value your unique contribution to community engagement and inclusion volunteer #4891.’

    compulsory civic service to promote national unity and community spirit

    I can already feel the swelling civic pride at the thought of enforced servitude.

    And France? Liberty-loving?!!!

  4. In the lockdowns not only did individual friends and neighbours help us, so did a local church charity and a neighbourhood organisation.

    Of the commercial outfits we were well served by a local greengrocer, a local butcher, and Waitrose. Sainsbury’s was NBG.

    Obvs we also depended on the people who kept everything running: electricity, gas, motor fuels, water, sewage, and so on, and all the lorry and van drivers without whom we’d have starved. Pity about the NHS, eh? And yet people worshipped it.

  5. I’m sure Charles has got a few “oven ready” schemes he prepared earlier. But naming stuff/initiatives after the old queen who had 60 years of that, ain’t going to be one of them.

  6. Wasn’t Clare Foges a speech writer or some such for Cameron? No wonder she’s keen on this social democrat bollocks. All of her articles could be written by the Lib Dem press office.

  7. Steve: ’Answers on the back of a stamped, self-addressed lion.’

    Wolves, Steve.
    Lions are bloody lazy kitten killers. Wolves are patient, organised and will follow for hours and days to get their man.

  8. O/T but media.
    SMS just received: Unherd – The Queen shows the democracy of death
    What?
    The Fourth Horseman is accepting voting slips now? Although there’s a lot to be said for the idea if he’s amenable. The ballot box – retired accountant in Ely – cardiac arrest, fatal – Yes/No – could be suitably stuffed.

  9. We look after our neighbor’s pets when they go on holiday, they look after ours. I planted a holly tree near the cycle path on the disused railway line. I’ve helped people move house, done odd fixing jobs, co operate with immediate neighbours to maintain hedges and fences. I don’t need a government wonk to organise me.

  10. @BIS “THERE IS ONLY THE DUTY.”

    Sir PTerry did explore a Death that was amenable to ..suggestions.. in Reaper Man. And in some other conversations DEATH had in other places..
    Not Pretty.

  11. Harry Haddock's Ghost

    Is the times just stuffed full of people having masturbatory fantasies about Blair’s second coming?

    Used to be a proper paper.

  12. To graduate high school here the kids have to do a certain number of hours volunteering, though I have to say the barriers to being a volunteer are significantly lower than Britain at the moment, though they are increasing. Covid was bizarre with many people I know being turned down by organisations as they weren’t taking new volunteers or returning volunteers who hadn’t worked for them for a while. Had a couple of friends that used to help at soup kitchens and contacted them asking if they needed help and were told no.

  13. Bnic ,,,, Nothing wrong with Youf actually havng a taste of Reality throuhg ….enscription…

    For the males,…. oh wait….
    Shame they never implemented it for the “Ladies”….

    I personally feel the world is poorer for dumping it, even though my Time was…well… wasted…
    It *did* teach me a lesson or two, though. Although possibly not the one intended.

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