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Los Angeles officials have given a young girl a license to own a unicorn after she asked animal control if she could keep one of the mythical creatures in her yard — if she’s able to find one.

In late November, Marcia Mayeda, director of Los Angeles County Animal Care and Control, issued a first-of-its-kind permit in response to the request from a girl identified only as Madeline. Accompanying the permit was a rose-colored metal tag that reads “Permanent Unicorn License” and a fuzzy unicorn toy.

Having the unicorn license comes with great responsibility. Mayeda noted that the unicorn’s horn must be polished at least once a month with a soft cloth; the creature must be exposed to sunlight, moonbeams, and rainbows; and any glitter used on the animal must be “nontoxic and biodegradable.”

Now, of course, we must kill LA County Animal Care and Control. Not for the diabeetus that will be caused by these Julie Andrews level of sweetness. But because the fuckers employ a PR agency to tell the world about it.

So, what disastrous decision are they trying to cover up?

5 thoughts on “How cute”

  1. A Unicorn would be fun… Especially when LA County Animal Care and Control would send inspectors to check on the beastie…
    I wonder how much wear and tear there’d be on those poor inspectors until they remembered the very specific approach and handling instructions about the things. What’d be left of the first couple or so, given its traditional dietary habits…

    But personally I’d go for a Martian Flat Cat..

  2. Don't they euthanize thousands per year?

    “So, what disastrous decision are they trying to cover up?”

    Would they even need to euthanize real mortal creatures anymore if you ppl all switched to virtual pets?

  3. Not very ambitious was she. Should have applied to keep a herd. Although she’d have to plan to remain a virgin if she intended long term breeding. It’s an important condition wasn’t mentioned.

  4. As all good Californians should know, unicorn (and rocking horse) droppings are an important source of renewable energy.

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