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There’s a possible question to this answer

I don’t think I’ve ever made a new year resolution. But this year I’m going to stop telling people that I don’t eat meat. It’s not that I do eat meat – I don’t. The thing is, when I tell people that I don’t eat meat, I’m saying it to be polite. I use that form of words because I don’t want to offend people. So, from now on I’m going to be more honest. I’m just going to tell people that I don’t eat animals.

So, err, a blow job isn’t out of the question then?

Yes, yes, I know, the article is by a bloke called Zephaniah and while I’ve no idea of his desires I do know mine. But, you know, still, straight line (fnarr fnarr) is not to be resisted and all that.

17 thoughts on “There’s a possible question to this answer”

  1. I saw a post yesterday from some twat saying that vegans should not use cameras with film in them, because the film is made with gelatin.

  2. He’s being silly about “not eating animals” because he “likes animals”.

    I doubt he has the slightest feelings at all towards shellfish — but hes’ not vegan if he eats them. The ethical basis for vegetarianism should allow all sorts of non-reflective meat, such as oysters or mussels.

    Vegan also prohibits milk and eggs, neither of which are eating animals. Sure, he might have issues about industrial farming of them, but there are non-farmed versions available, particularly of eggs.

    Being vegan is about being the right sort of hip. There’s no way this man is going to explain to his vegan friends that some of their rules are hypocritical and pointless, and that he’s just a non-meat eater.

    If he told me that he “didn’t eat animals”, I would make allowances. If he then was upset that I served mussels in cream, he would have only himself to blame.

  3. Imagine if he’d spent time helping out at a dog shelter or something instead of that navel-gazing introspection.

  4. CD:
    “Vegan also prohibits milk and eggs, neither of which are eating animals. Sure, he might have issues about industrial farming of them, but there are non-farmed versions available, particularly of eggs.”

    Yes, I guess eggs from pet hens where the male chicks are not killed off are OK. I’ve been vegan since 1984, and have occasionally been offered such eggs. Trouble is, they tasted disgusting. Nothing to do with the eggs, of course, but I’ve lost the enzymes or somesuch, and can’t cope with ’em.

  5. I’m going to stop telling people I don’t eat mince pies. Nothing ethical about it, it’s just they’re disgusting. From now on I’ll just politely push them off my plate onto the floor.

  6. Can I rate this troll 3/10 if only for bites?

    What if I tell ppl I’m Jain and they’ve been reasoning logically about harm reduction in diet for thousands of years?

  7. He’s such a martyr isn’t he? The same mentality demonstrated by all the other nutters on the planet (Religous, AGW, WEFers, Anti-this, that and the other).
    Why does he think what he does or doesn’t do/ believe/ eat is in any way of interest orimportant to the rest of us so long as they leave us alone?

    And there’s the rub……. They cannot leave us alone.

  8. @Sam Vara

    I was a vegetarian for about 20 years from university days up until the late 1990s. Then one day I was at Twickenham for the world 7s (an all day event) and couldn’t face another pea fritter (back then choice was more limited and it was the only thing on offer). So I had fish’n’chips. Then later chicken’n’chips. Tasted great. Didn’t seem to have any trouble with digestion.

  9. So he never met a racist animal, but he talked to cats, birds and bees…. Cats may not be racist, but they will murder just about anything they can manage. Just for fun.

  10. Billy Joel used to tell a joke at his concerts about him and his drummer (Liberty DeVitto) going to a party thrown by Paul McCartney and asking about the food. Paul piously said “Linda and I don’t eat anything with a face”. After he moved on Liberty muttered “Well, that’s Linda shit out of luck then”

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