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Should be safe enough

How I overcame my fears as a fat traveler and fell in love with cruises
“As I counted down the days to the cruise, I started getting nervous. Would the ship be accessible for me?”

Cruise ships tend to be pretty big, Love.

17 thoughts on “Should be safe enough”

  1. Jeez, Salon can be pretty harsh!
    Caption on the pic

    A cruise highlight, Rhino boats in Sint Maarten. (Jodyann Morgan)

    She’s a big lass, but calling her a Rhino? Thought Salon was supposed to be all supportive and progressive and stuff…

  2. I especially liked how Leonard Nimoy jumped into her pool and gave her a big underwater hug, while wearing his trademark white bandana.

  3. A fat traveller is useful. They can tarmac your drive and then flatten it without the need for a roller.

  4. Cruise ships tend to be pretty big, Love.

    Lots of people crammed in, though, and corridors and passageways aren’t the widest. Can you imagine being stuck behind that in an abandon-ship*.

    “There is a lot of food at all hours on the Regal Princess. Our favorite casual dining on the ship was at the buffet, open from early in the morning until late at night.”


    “I enjoyed the chocolate treatment, which included a mask and full body massage, which left my skin so soft! My wife isn’t into chocolate, so she booked a seaweed wrap, which was done on a water bed, and absolutely loved it. We both got the fire and ice pedicure, which included a leg massage.”


    *I did change that from “evacuation”.

  5. PJF – My wife

    so not only does she weigh as much as a small memory of Indian elephants, her sex life involves a complicated system of rope, pullies, and flour. (And KFC bargain buckets.)

    The plot fattens.

  6. I am 6 foot 1 inch, 225 lbs ( on a good day). I rarely feel I have to worry if some place will be able to accommodate me. Closest I’ve been was buying a sand rail that was just too small for me to sit in safely. And I’ve lived in Italy and Japan where things are smaller.

    If you’re actually having trouble fitting into places then you are fucking insanely fat.

  7. I am a fatty but the trouble I’ve had fitting into seats in aircraft is not a girth problem, i.e. with the seat belt, but rather on constriction on two other dimensions. I’m broad-shouldered and so is my wife. So we had no room measured sideways. And there wasn’t enough leg room either. (I’m tall and she’s long-legged.) Note that my successful effort to lose weight will not solve either of those problems.

    I’ve also had trouble in the front of a Merc taxi – no headroom – and in the back of a BMW – no leg room and bloody awkward to clamber out of. I find Range Rovers short of legroom in the front too.
    I’ve tried sitting in a Lexus in a showroom a couple of times – no headroom. Are these cars made for Napoleon/Hitler types?

  8. If you are fat it’s likely that you end up taller when you sit down because of the…extra cushioning you are sitting on. It is possible that losing some weight could help with headroom as a result.
    The broad shoulders and long legs though – can’t help with that.

  9. Steve – my subconscious was hoping the laws of thermodynamics would keep them too busy eating and shitting to allow time for that.

    ” . . . and quite a few hot tubs designed for two to five people.”

    Should help dislodged that half a bog roll that went missing three months ago.

  10. PJF – my subconscious was hoping the laws of thermodynamics would keep them too busy eating and shitting to allow time for that.

    Unfortunately it turns out HP Lovecraft was right about the universe.

  11. Dennis, Gold Medalist In Unnecessary Snark

    Lena Dunham has really let herself go… Something I didn’t think possible.

  12. She looks like some of the Cruise Ship passengers I see lumbering up the Main street of my town during the season.Good job whaling has been outlawed.

  13. ‘I did change that from “evacuation”‘ Oh, shit!!!

    dearieme, broad shouldered is one reason I like an aisle seat. Though I have to watch out that the hosties don’t bump into me when they trundle up the corridor.

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