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Yeah, but no but yeah but no

And for the avoidance of doubt on that last point, I checked: nearly £5 for a molten-hot ham and cheese toastie, which from personal experience leaves you feeling like you need skin grafts on the roof of your mouth; £2.30 for a can of Fanta that would cost 55p in Tesco or Asda; and my personal favourite, “a passion fizz” – better known as prosecco with J2O. Price? £10.

In the first financial quarter alone, these costs added an astonishing £406m alone to EasyJet’s top line – equivalent to more than a quarter of its total turnover, and a 77pc leap on the same period last year.

It means that every one of the 20.2m customers that flew with the airline between the beginning of October and New Year’s Eve forked out an average of roughly £20 each more in add-ons, on top of the cost of their flight.

But no. I’m currently making a monthly bounce back to the UK. Mum’s not well. OK.

I can – and do – travel with a small cabin bag. Last flight was £50 round trip, so is next one. Unbundling is just great.

20 thoughts on “Yeah, but no but yeah but no”

  1. The budget airlines are like petrol stations who make their money from Yorkie bars and dodgy coffee.
    Missus and I always travelled Lufthansa and Austrian – because we were near Heathrow – until they both started cutting the service and the freebies from our gold cards. It was worth changing at Clapham Jct to go to Airwick Gatport to fly Easyjet instead.

    Now they are the first airline I check for the route in question.

  2. They let you bring your own drinks (you have to buy post security though) and snacks onboard, so planning ahead and avoiding these prices is easily done. Plus their flights are usually less the 3 hours so you can easily go without.

  3. My EasyJet Gatwick routine is to turn right after security and through Special Assistance to avoid the horrible winding mirrored shipping area. Visit the loo right by the exit. Then pick up a meal deal in Boots opposite to eat on the plane, and head up the steps to get a coffee and seat to wait for boarding. Cabin bags only obviously

  4. Andy

    That is indeed a nuisance. British airports have their security checks upfront so one can pop into Boots or WHSmiths afterwards and buy overpriced Coke there. Many continental airports have security at the gate and so drinkies and sweeties have to come from an even more overpriced machine.

  5. Something’s wrong with the numbers there. On every low-cost flight I’ve ever taken, barely a handful of people buy anything; and usually just a cup of tea. You’d struggle to hit £20 per head anyway, even at those prices.

  6. Andrew M

    There’s always someone. One flight to Vienna two guys behind me tanned 8 cans of lager and cider each at a fiver a pop.

  7. What Andrew M said. Are they including the “extras” that they try and flog you when buying your ticket? Things like priority boarding etc.

  8. And every purchase freely entered into by both parties. What is she wibbling about?

    Exactly. Sometimes I might buy a sandwich and a small bottle of wine, especially if it’s been an early start, but for the most part I don’t bother.

    Even with inflation my flight costs are still about half what I was paying in the era of national flag carriers. I still remember the horrors of Sabena before those bastards finally went bust in 2001.


    Give me the low prices, regular service and occasional hassle of Ryanair and EasyJet any day of the week.

  9. early £5 for a molten-hot ham and cheese toastie, which from personal experience leaves you feeling like you need skin grafts on the roof of your mouth;

    Does this person not realise that…
    you can wait for the food to cool down a bit before shovelling it into your gob…?

  10. As others have pointed out – what is this fucking moron talking about? Don’t like the price then don’t buy it. The toastie tasted like shit then make a mental note and don’t do it again. Who the fuck is forcing you to buy this? What they are forcing you to buy is the airline taxes which are far more outrageous.

    And yes dear fuck man, you can get a few bottles of coke from the terminal, expensive but cheaper than on the plane. (And fill up a few of those empty 100ml travel containers that pass security with gin/vodka)

  11. @Andrew M

    At a guess, the £20 per head includes baggage costs.

    Still…comparing the price of something from a supermarket shelf to something that has been speculatively brought onto a fucking plane on the off chance you might want it is batshit stupid. Yeah.. the airlines have pricing power and gouge all they can… but it’s the easiest thing to opt out of.

  12. It’s not an airline I have used recently but I’ve always been a fan of EasyJet. Most of their flights are only around two hours, so who needs to eat? If you do, shove a cereal bar in your hand luggage and a flattened empty bottle to fill with water.

    I do like the idea of 100ml drinks containers filled with clear booze…

  13. eJ operate a handful of 4 hour legs (e.g. Moscow or Luxor), but the majority of their flights are around two hours. And, unlike Ryanair, they don’t operate to cold war military bases with limited facilities that are miles from anywhere (e.g. Where-the-hell-is-Hahn). Can anyone seriously not last that long without a sandwich and fizzy drink?

  14. Not sure that this guy –Ben Marlow, Chief City Commentator – is cut out for the job.

    Staying at a hotel overnight you ask why the room is so expensive; oh, says the desk clerk, it includes free use of the golf course. I also remember paying more for a coffee on the Stansted Express than on the easyJet flight there.

    Today he is berating Toyota for not fully embracing EVs. It does not seem to occur to him that they are never likely to be a possibility in rural parts of the world, in Africa, India, China, USA or Australia.

  15. KJP,


    I used to get all those nice extras flying to Glasgow on business. Free meal, free drink, free ticket changes, free luggage. But it did cost £300.

    You know TANSTAAFL, motherfuckers.

  16. I do like the idea of 100ml drinks containers filled with clear booze…

    Shows how unimaginative I am really. It never occurred to me to fill one of my 100ml shampoo bottles with vodka for the flight. Then again, even as an alcoholic, I was never a very good one.

  17. fill one of my 100ml shampoo bottles with vodks

    It’d make for interesting showers in the morning and an interesting tipple if you get the wrong bottle out.

  18. My wife is working away from home. Sometimes she comes back, sometimes I go and visit her.
    She pays $15 to pre-book a seat and I wait until the 24 hour check-in notice when you can do it for free and select from what’s available then
    No doubt this person would be shocked at such an arrangement

  19. “Not sure that this guy –Ben Marlow, Chief City Commentator – is cut out for the job.”

    The Telegraph sure have gone pretty sh*t, their business pages are now filled with woke BS. Always some article extolling the ‘benefits’ of greenery. AEP has drunk that cool aid as well. Not sure if he means it or is just churning out the boilerplate to keep his job.

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