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This is fun

Nursery rhymes banned in Scottish library events over ‘historical racism’ fears

Would that be the dildo monkey events or the other ones?

15 thoughts on “This is fun”

  1. Simply change the words to:-

    Five little rainbow dildo butt monkeys jumping on a bed.
    One fell off and bumped his (might be a problem here) head.
    Mother (another problem unless mother has a beard) called the doctor and the doctor said.

    At this point we probably don’t want to know what the doctor said.

  2. Sam Smith, pudding and pie
    Starred in a video that made gammons cry
    When the Grammies cane round again
    Sam’s manager said “Well done, lad, kerching, kerching !”

  3. Despite having lyrics unrelated to race, Five Little Monkeys has been banned because it has “historical racist intent”.

    This is why everybody hates naggers.

  4. The fun thing with bansturbators is that they give you an insight into how their nasty little minds work.
    “Five Little Monkeys” shows their own definition of racism is pretty sick…

  5. Five little monkeys bumming on the bed
    One thought he was a she instead
    Mama called the doctor, and the doctor said
    You’ll cop it if I lop it
    But you can still give head.

    Four little monkeys each with a knife
    One got stabbed and lost his life
    Sadiq called the coppers, the coppers all said
    We’d like to think we’re winning,
    But down here crime’s rife!

    Three little monkeys sitting on a boat
    One went back for his love lorn goat
    Starmer called his party, the party all said
    To hell with integration –
    We need that core vote!

    Two little monkeys plotting ‘gainst the state
    One got shot and left his mate
    The imam rang him up, the naughty cleric said
    It’s fine when we kill ’em
    Because only whites can hate!

    One little monkey as cold as he could be
    Died in the dark – no electricity!
    Monbiot was mourning, through his tears he said
    “It’s capitalism killed him,
    It’s on the BBC!”

  6. I had a little pony
    it’s mane was dapple grey
    I lent it to a lady
    to ride a mile away
    She /whipped/ it, she /lashed/ it

    She rode it through the mire
    I’ll never lend my pony again
    for all my lady’s ire.

  7. I have to applaud both Sam and jgh.

    Someone has finally written lyrics that even I like!! Though actually I thought lyrics always evolved like this.

  8. The only racist stuff I can remember from that age is:

    “Taffy was a Welshman,
    Taffy was a thief,
    Taffy came til oor hoose,
    And stole a side of beef.”

    The “til”, “oor” and “hoose” suggest I learnt it in the playground not at home, school, or library.

  9. Come to think of it, it would have been “side o’ beef”. And maybe “came” would have been “cam”. It was all long since.

  10. Baa Baa black sheep, have you any wool?
    Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full

    Clearly perpetuating the stereotype that all African-Americans are drug dealers.

  11. My sister was running for her high school student government years ago, and she made campaign posters that included animals because she was obsessed with nature shows. Each one had pictures of giraffes, or dolphins, or some other thing having a conversation with speech bubbles or doing something funny.

    One poster had a picture of chimpanzees playing soccer in soccer uniforms. It was disapproved before she could ever hang it in the school hallway, because she was told it may offend some of the black students. Tells you a lot about how these white liberal administrators think.

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