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What’s the best way to open an Oreo? Committed scientists at MIT decided to find out.It doesn’t matter how fast you twist — the creme will stick to one side 80 percent of the time, they found. Unfortunately, the MIT study results weren’t replicated by the Netherlands’ University of Groningen, but that may be because the Europeans twisted by hand, while the US researchers twisted via machine.

Or, of course, European Oreos are different from USian. Which, as it happens, is true. Now, whether those differences lead to this change, well… where’s the research grant to find out?

14 thoughts on “Oreos”

  1. I don’t know either but I assume it’s some kind of consumer product like food or cosmetic. Why would one use a machine to open a packet?

  2. I’m surprised the cheese eating surrender monkeys allow the sale of Oreos without requiring the name to be changed into a French phrase with 25 syllables, just to protect the French language from les Anglo Saxons.

  3. @dearieme

    Imagine a custard cream with round, dark brown biscuits instead of rectangular, and a white filling.

    No idea what they taste like, though.

  4. Bloke in Hungary has it right.

    An Oreo can also mean an occasion when a white man has sex with two black women.

  5. I thought it was a group of ladies who sang jingles for the radio.

    Apologies, ex-wife was a big Streisand fan and the pair of us watching her movies was mandatory if nookie was going to be forthcoming within the next couple of days.

  6. Dearieme, it’s a cookie designed to approximate the taste of a real chocolate cream puff without the mess you get eating one.

    They’re… ok-ish when it comes to that. If you’ve never had the Real Thing™ , and don’t have a clue what real chocolate and real cream taste like.
    The whole ritual of twisting them open is a fetish invented by Marketeers, picked up by horny teenagers not missing a chance at some extra innuendo.

  7. So basically a circular bastard offspring of a bourbon and a custard creme, with typical American vomit-flavoured filling?

  8. Michael van der Riet

    The Oreo experiments, at MIT and Groningen, were performed by engineering students not by gender studies students. Accordingly neither group required a research grant. Nor did the many students who have inquired into the cat and buttered toast anomaly. Nor did the students who discovered that mosquitoes like garlic, which accordingly might not be a good deterrent to other blood-sucking species such as vampires. However when the engineering students graduate and discover that there are megabucks and multi chicks to be had by joining the climate religion, research grants do come into play quite heavily.

  9. Vile things. Why anyone in the UK would eat them when we have custard creams shows how far standards have fallen.

  10. jgh: Pretty much, yeah. I sometimes think of them as Jammy Dodgers without the jam. And where’s the fun in that?

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