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Don’t eat the staff meal!

At the height of summer in the beachside restaurants of Alicante in Spain, waiters and waitresses carry endless plates of tapas and trays of sangria to rowdy tourists deep into the night.

But in one busy “chiringuito” there was little sign of tiredness among staff in 2023, thanks to a secret stimulant that could land its managers in jail.

Police swooped on the outlet in Arenales del Sol de Elche to arrest its bosses for tricking employees into taking anabolic steroids to boost their performance.

Waiters and kitchen staff were allegedly told they were merely taking vitamin supplements but were being doped by pills and injections.


Blimey. Having done the job – for years, not just as the one summer from uni thing – it’s entirely true that you don’t need to work out as well as be a waiter in a busy place. But I have to admit that taking steroids never did occur to me as a way to do it better.

4 thoughts on “Don’t eat the staff meal!”

  1. Couple of factoids for you.
    A ‘chiringuito’ is a shack on the beach where returning fishermen cooked & sold their catch. There’s even a few still exist. Those are still very cheap & good.
    ‘Tapas’ are a Granada thing & are small plates put on top of a drink to keep the flies out. (The word goat will explain why the flies) It’s traditional to put portion of food on the plate, often heavily salted to encourage the next drink. They are never charged for & in the villages & towns around Granada, they still aren’t. Thus a dedicated drinker can survive without ever buying a meal. Tradition has it, the custom dates back to Ferdinand & Isabela’s victorious entry into the city of Granada in 1492 & her objection to drinking no longer airborne insects.
    That chiringuitos are now concrete & glass & charge a packet & tapas 5€ a time will probably explain the attitude resulted in the steroids.

  2. Bloke in the Fourth Reich

    Here’s your injection. You’re not allowed to work without it.

    Now, where have I heard that before?

  3. Another bodybuilders favourite, creatine, has a caffeine-like ability to keep you awake. Unlike the steroids, creatine is perfectly legal.

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