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Erm, no

Church of England’s pension fund invests over £30m in water firms despite sewage crisis

Not really, no:

The Church of England’s pension fund has more than £30 million invested in water companies despite the sewage crisis, according to a new documentary.

At some point in the past the Church pensions invested some indeterminate amount of money in het water industry, which is now worth £30 million.

This isn’t the same as has just put £30 million in.

And given that the Church pensions are going to largely reflect the overall market – sensibly – then it’s probably right that they should have been in water.

Further, I’m really pretty sure that the big complaint about water is that the bastard capitalists have been getting all the money. That is right, isn’t it? Which means water is a great place for a Church pension to be invested. Of course, they may not, in fact, have made money in water. But that does mean that the capitalists haven’t been getting all the money.

21 thoughts on “Erm, no”

  1. Who gives a shit what this dying organisation, which despises its dwindling remaining members, invests in? I see the useless wet farts have already disinvested from oil & gas, vital commodities for the UK.

    Talking of dying organisations, are hacks on the DT contractually obliged to describe everything in the UK as a crisis? I’m a (free) subscriber and they can sell it to the Arabs tomorrow for all I care.

    Off topic, there was some discussion of the Trump verdict here recently. A former New York lawyer, the Manhattan Contrarian weighs in here:

    Apologies if someone linked this already….

  2. I’m really pretty sure that the big complaint about water is that the bastard capitalists have been getting all the money.

    Well, the return on investment from bastard communists is pretty poor. If they just upped their game to be more profitable …

  3. Marius/John,

    It’s all just about people winning a battle. Largely the CofE are targeted because there’s a good chance that they’ll surrender and Joe Lycett and C4 get their “win”.

    I mean, this whole sewage story is just a big fat nothing that’s indicative of middle class midwit thinking led by the worst sort of rich people. People who want to wild swim, people who want to fish, people who have drones and spare time. Water companies pump out some excess sewage into the sea a couple of weeks after the summer holidays, with no-one on the beaches, but there’s some wanker with a drone to film it. Or someone complains how they can’t wild swim, as if there’s more than about 100 people doing this in the whole country.

    Feargal Sharkey isn’t happy? I mean, so what? Are we still supposed to be grateful for Teenage Kicks?

  4. Welby Ltd has in any case lost touch with the chap that could have turned it into wine. Allegiance is now to Ed Davey who can transform sub-postmasters into paupers, a neat trick, perhaps, but no use at weddings.

  5. I can remember swimming in the sea off Brighton beach some 30-odd years ago and seeing a turd floating in the water coming towards me. Don’t get that anymore.

  6. TMB – Welby Ltd has in any case lost touch with the chap that could have turned it into wine.

    Yes. They’re Muggles.

    For the Deep Magic, we need a lion.

  7. Jgh

    I suspect it may be part due to the paradox of how a country whose census-confirmed population is below 60m manages to expel enough faeces for a further 20m (if not more).

    It’s a puzzler.

  8. jgh

    It’s mostly because the ability to monitor “pollution” levels has, following investment, massively increased. Measuring sensitivity is now vastly greater than that obtaining on the continent………or Scotland.

  9. @Brian,

    Brighton is full of turds, so seeing one in the water is hardly unexpected. I daren’t ask what colour it was, as that would make me racist, but I suspect that it wasn’t white.

    I once saw a turd lurking at the bottom of a lavatory pan in a House of Commons Gents. I was consoled by the fact that fleetingly an MP was slightly less full of shit than usual.

  10. John said:
    “… a country whose census-confirmed population is below 60m manages to expel enough faeces for a further 20m”

    I remember reading something about that a while ago, but when trying to find it for someone I couldn’t. Any chance you’ve got a link?

  11. Is that why the Labour Party is melting down over Palestine and meekly submitting to the ‘4 million, honest guv’ Muslims in our country?

  12. Couldn’t the faeces discrepancy be down to the increase in the numbers of fullashit politicians? They do seem to have multiplied like rabbits on Viagra.

  13. SCIENCE!

    To explore how dinosaur naming has changed over the past 200 years, Emma Dunne, a palaeobiologist at Friedrich-Alexander University in Erlangen–Nuremberg, Germany, and her colleagues analysed the names of all of the dinosaur fossils from the Mesozoic Era (251.9 million to 66 million years ago) that have been described, around 1,500 in total.

    The authors wanted to know how much effort it would take to address what they saw as problematic names, which they describe as those “emanating racism, sexism, named under (neo)colonial contexts or after controversial figures”. They found 89 potentially offensive names, equating to less than 3% of the dinosaurs they looked at.

    Farewell, then,
    Tyrannosaurus Twat.

  14. The Labour party either jumps when the muslims say jump or it loses them. And of course it will lose them anyway soonish. They’ll form their own party and even with ten percent of the vote will get more seats than UKIP or Reform could ever dream of. And both Lab and Con will do anything to get them onside in parliament. So we’ll all jump when they say jump.

  15. Rhoda – Gorgeous George and his party seem to be a forerunner of That Sort of Thing. Giving genuine, wholehearted support for issues that matter to Muslims.

    Instead of the Labour Party’s previous stance of trying to reconcile Tony Blair’s transatlantic foreign policy with a voter (and far more importantly, activist and MP) base that increasingly resembles (drum roll) Iraq and Afghanistan. (barum-tiss!)

    Picture our progressive political pimps pursued by pissed off Pallys, Yakity Sax style. That’s what is happening to a fear-inducing number of MP’s, at Westminster, in their offices, and at their homes. It’s quite the sight, a real fondue sickle.

    The rozzers would never allow Tommy’s boys, or Anti-Lockdowners/Antivaxxers, or the Countryfile Alliance to (ahem) try to influence (cough) members of parliament like this. They’d be wading in with batons, the judge would give them 20, and the Home Office would proscribe their organisations. BBC headline: Far Right Hatey Hater Hatemongers Finally Banned, But Should The Government Have Acted Sooner?

    But the part of the State that’s supposed to defend the State from Exactly This Sort Of Thing, be it Chartism, Fenianism or Palestinianism, is helpless in the face of their own sensitivity to Islamophobia innit. They don’t even see the problem! Wanking causes blindness, as everyone knew at that age, and the British state has been pleasuring itself to some very expensive Luxury Beliefs in this Year 27 of Our Tone, which leaves the entire, rotten, but still comfortably smug Blairised edifice ripe for Mao-Maoing and being forced into a hijab.

    Rarely has “rubbing their noses in it” rebounded with such brio as they’re chased and chastened by the Diversity they helped create, but when was the last time you saw British MP’s this motivated about something that matters to you?

    Things Can Only Get Better intensifies

  16. They’re outraged that they are feeling the consequences of their actions, while fighting to be seen to vote the right way out of fear of their lives. What a wonderful demonstration of a modern state. (sark!)

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