Skip to content

Headline News

Dakota Johnson Can’t Fake It


Bustle.

Perhaps actress wasn’t the correct career choice therefore…..

16 thoughts on “Headline News”

  1. As with many of these actresses, I cannot recall ever having seen Ms Johnson in anything. Apparently Madame Web has had a god panning.

    Her elbows look very pointy.

  2. Maybe that’s because whatever it takes to be a star isn’t genetically inheritable?

    Lots of “nepo babies” seem to struggle to find their path in life, seldom succeed in the same thing as their parents and any success tends to be more because of network connectivity rather talent.

    If you’re going the casting couch route that used to work for good looking, but otherwise talentless nobodies like Amber Heard, but Harvey Weinstein and #MeToo seems to have muted that activity for the females and the Gayers seems to be a lot more circumspect about tupping young boys than they used to be after Cory Haim died and Cory Feldman decided to stop acting and start banging on about predatory gays in Hollyweird.

    Besides, a nepo baby doing the casting couch thing would get back to the parents via their agent if nothing else, so there’s that also.

    Maybe it’s better to just avoid Dakota Johnson’s acting like we’d avoid Brooklyn Beckham’s cooking.

    Talent. It’s ephemeral…and the lazier and more entitled you are the more elusive it becomes.

  3. Her jeans are high-waisted because she’s a millennial, not Gen Z, though she doesn’t want to get into that after her last comments on the topic went viral.

    Allah is merciful indeed.

  4. OT but still headline news:

    The US House of Reps just voted to ban TikTok, unless TikTok sells itself to an American tech company (!). One wonders how fair a price they’d get in those circs, but anyway. TikTok is a huge company and a big chunk of internet traffic, so this is important.

    Its prospects in the upper chamber of Congress are unclear in the wake of Republican White House candidate Donald Trump speaking out against the bill.

    The former president, who tried to ban the app during his term in office, changed his position after a recent meeting with Republican donor Jeff Yass, who reportedly owns a minor stake in ByteDance.

    Lovely bit of reporting by the BBC there. Yarp, that’s how the American retail politics sausage is made, as the broadcaster artfully let be known without explicitly editorialising.

    No, seriously, I’m impressed.

    It’s a shame the Beeb doesn’t apply the same critical eye to the pronouncements of: the Labour Party, Greenpeace, the European Union, basically any brown person on the planet as long as he’s not a horrible right winger like Thomas Sowell or a Catholic bishop from Africa or something, human rights lawyers, windfarm subsidy collectors, the Muslims, the Welsh…

    Anyway, for American politicians, this is all a bit of fun. Fun and, despite the rote national security boilerplate – essentially trivial in the context of the governance of a globe-girding multi-trillion dollar (of debt) economic and military super-hegemon. Part Tipper Gore Won’t Someone Please Think of The Children, part stickin’ it to them Commie Red bastards like it was 1987 and Ronnie was President. But, as the royal we have asked before, how does this look to China?

    Like, imagine if the Chinese parliament voted to force Microsoft or Google to sell its business to Tencent, or be banned from China. Americans, and non Americans, might view that as a hostile and capricious act of naked theft, possibly.

    Ok, what happens when nations can no longer peacefully trade with each other in normal ways? When you can no longer trust the other guy to not steal your IP (China), or maliciously sanction your tech industry just to fuck you over (the USA), or even allow your companies and individuals to safely own property in each other’s countries (the USA again but China will retaliate) ?

    And we used to think it was daft to fight a war over Jenkins’s ear. TikTok doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that’s worth disemboweling a screaming Chinaman over, with your bayonet, at the Third Battle of Chosin when your trench gets overrun because the transgender quartermxter was too busy doing xer mandatory HR DEI course to order more bullets.

    But sillier things have happened.

  5. Some bloke said of Dakota Johnson that if she farted in his car, he would wind the windows up. 🙂

  6. Steve,

    “And we used to think it was daft to fight a war over Jenkins’s ear. TikTok doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that’s worth disemboweling a screaming Chinaman over, with your bayonet, at the Third Battle of Chosin when your trench gets overrun because the transgender quartermxter was too busy doing xer mandatory HR DEI course to order more bullets.”

    The act that has been passed doesn’t mention TikTok at all. It’s any tech that is owned by foreigners in certain countries that some politicians and advisors determine could be bad for democracy (so basically, almost anything). I don’t think it’s really about Tiktok so much as if say, Alibaba started going after Cloud business in the USA, or if a new AI search engine emerged in China.

    It’s going to backfire because Chinese companies just won’t set up in the USA. Or they’ll do it after other places. There’s no consequentialism to this action. Same as how no-one in the USA seemed to consider that banning some chips might lead to China figuring out how to start designing their own using RISC-V to ensure that they had continuity of supply. In 5 years time, they’re going to be the centre of RISC-V chips. They’re going to be seen as a threat to ARM, AMD, Intel and NVidia.

    China is economically unstoppable IMO. They’re large and full of poor, hungry people who work hard and have little of a sense of entitlement. We have a huge population that votes for more benefits for their crotchfruit, more wanky degrees, more ecotwattery, and want to work 4 days a week.

  7. @Steve

    Like, imagine if the Chinese parliament voted to force Microsoft or Google to sell its business to Tencent, or be banned from China.

    China opted to ban Google without recourse to sale. No need for a vote, just executive action. The Chinese are laughing that we don’t have reciprocal actions.

  8. Jimintheantipodes

    I was recently in Shanghai for a few weeks visiting family and friends. Most days I would see maybe two or three Westeners. I wish more from the UK, USA, would visit……..It is probably not what many imagine…..population 30 million, but doesn’t. Seem crowded. Very safe, very clean surprisingly quiet, 40 percent cars electric and no noisy car horns. Chinese are everywhere in the West, not much the other way around. No visa needed for a six day visit,

  9. The publicity pictures for the latest film disaster showing the rather sad flat-chested Ms Johnson alongside her joyously buxom co-star Sydney Sweeney are likely to herald a striking career divergence for the two actresses. (Not actors, actresses FFS).

    Sometimes it’s as simple as that. We men know what we like.

  10. TikTok doesn’t need to “set up” in the USA for people in the USA to use it. There’s this thing called wires that connects countries. It’s like saying that I can’t buy a book from Kenkyusha because Kenkyusha isn’t a UK company. If a consumer wants something from foreign they just fetch it from foreign.

  11. Headline News is the title if the Wierd Al song that is a parody of Mmm Mmm Mmm by the Crash Test Dummies.

  12. I was recently in Shanghai for a few weeks visiting family and friends. Most days I would see maybe two or three Westeners. I wish more from the UK, USA, would visit……..It is probably not what many imagine…..population 30 million, but doesn’t. Seem crowded. Very safe, very clean surprisingly quiet, 40 percent cars electric and no noisy car horns. Chinese are everywhere in the West, not much the other way around. No visa needed for a six day visit,

    I visited Shanghai in 1987, when the population was around 10 million. It was extremely crowded – they staggered weekends somehow, because if everyone came into work on the same day, the transport system couldn’t cope. I assume it must have spread out, somewhat! Friends who’ve worked in Beijing tell me westerners can’t walk down the street without being propositioned for a ‘nice girl’.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *