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One of those little details of Teh Gayer lifestyle

Admittedly, not something I’d previously given a great deal of thought to but apparently this is the sort of thing that makes The Guardian’s problems pages these days:

I am a man in my early 30s married to a man in his mid-50s. We have always been in an open relationship: we met at a sex party. When we met I was always a bottom and he a top. Over time, however, he has become obsessed with bottoming. He never penetrates me, even in a group, and has starting expressing jealousy about the tops that I attract. I feel he is throwing our life away in pursuit of a pipe dream and I long to get back the dominant top that I married – a role he is suited for physically. He has been looking at escort websites, which I find depressingly inevitable. How can I wake him up to reality?

How unlike the hiome life of our own Dear Queen, no?

26 thoughts on “One of those little details of Teh Gayer lifestyle”

  1. Well, as the Headteacher at my daughter’s school puts it in the sign off for his weekly reports:

    “we value the diversity that exists”

    But thankfully at my age I won’t have to see the eventual consequences of this Brave New World

  2. As Pamela says, top burnout is very common. Seems to me this guy wants to have his cake and eat it.

  3. So the problem is that they both want to ‘be the woman’, right?

    Seems a bit odd to get tetchy about hubby looking up escorts when you’re both getting hammered by the Lord knows who every weekend.

  4. Ironman; “Seems to me this guy wants to have his cake and eat it.”. The mental image that conjured up meant I had to use the mind floss…

  5. I am a man in my early 30s married to a man in his mid-50s. We have always been in an open relationship: we met at a sex party. When we met I was always a bottom and he a top. Over time, however, he has become obsessed with bottoming. He never penetrates me, even in a group.

    Love is Love, bigots.

    Ironman – As Pamela says, top burnout is very common

    Or his ‘husband’ lost interest as soon as the twink hit 30. Baron Harkonnen liked em young and pretty too.

  6. I wonder if the guys attends ‘Queers for Palestine’ demos ?- Maybe he might meet some RoPers who will put an end to his problems – permanently.

  7. Maybe because marriage was invented to bind a couple of opposite sex in a nuclear marriage for the purpose of reproduction, where only one can penetrate so the roles to accomplish the mission were fixed by biology – roles are not interchangeable.

    “ We have always been in an open relationship…”

    Which is contrary to the concept, intention of the marriage contract, and why it is quite unsuitable for same-sex relationships. Their open relationship is adulterous.

    Marriage is not a matter of equal Rights because it is not a Right – a licence is needed so by definition anything requiring permission from the State cannot be a Right.

  8. This isn’t about arse banditry, sodomy or anything else sewer pipe related.

    It sounds like one of basic expectation.

    If you have an “open” relationship , be it legs or anything else and you indulge in parties, orgies or whatever else, well, what do they expect?

    How “open” does it need to be before it’s not a “relationship” at all.

  9. Gay relationships are like sausages. For peace of mind, it’s far better not to know what goes into them.

  10. BiS – For peace of mind, it’s far better not to know what goes into them.

    Bumholes and eyelids, eh?

  11. Interested – Try as I might, I can’t find this anything but revolting.

    Related:

    Calls for insects to be added to processed foods to remove the ‘disgust factor’

    Scientists say if insects are to be mainstream part of Western diet, disgust factor is one of most important challenges to be overcome

    […]

    Presenting the findings at the European Congress on Obesity in Venice, Dr Maxine Sharps, of De Montfort University, said: “The disgust factor associated with eating whole insects could be overcome by incorporating insect flours into processed foods.

    “This has been done successfully with rice products fortified with cricket or locust flours in other parts of the world.”

    Fun fact: your disgust reflex is a survival mechanism.

    What does that tell us about the intentions of people who want to force you to “overcome” your disgust reflex?

    Make MPs eat crunchy bluebottles before we feed them to the lions.

  12. Marriage is more than sex. Whatever kind of sex it is. There is the meeting of like minded people doing things together and enjoying it,. From walks, to holiday, to shared interests, etc

  13. @Steve

    Make MPs eat crunchy bluebottles before we feed them to the lions.

    I’d rather feed the MPs to the bluebottles, via scaphism.

  14. @SBML

    Marriage is more than sex. Whatever kind of sex it is. There is the meeting of like minded people doing things together and enjoying it,. From walks, to holiday, to shared interests, etc

    I can say this behind the veil of anonymity – I would obviously never embarrass her by discussing it if any of you knew me or her – but my missus absolutely loves a good shagging, and has ever since I first predated upon her when she was 19.

    I think this is mostly because she absolutely loves me (and it’s all reciprocal). Normal women need all the other stuff before you get their knickers off, and to be honest I think a lot of normal men are built that way, too.

    Yes to the married couple and their nuclear family raising kids as a means of societal survival!

  15. Dennis, He Who Is Not The Fairest Of Them All

    I am a man in my early 30s married to a man in his mid-50s. We have always been in an open relationship: we met at a sex party. When we met I was always a bottom and he a top. Over time, however, he has become obsessed with bottoming. He never penetrates me, even in a group, and has starting expressing jealousy about the tops that I attract. I feel he is throwing our life away in pursuit of a pipe dream and I long to get back the dominant top that I married – a role he is suited for physically. He has been looking at escort websites, which I find depressingly inevitable. How can I wake him up to reality?

    This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in years.

    Back in the day I’d have called it out as very good parody, but it is 2024 and we are talking about the Guardian here, so I have to content myself knowing this really is someone’s life and, sadly, reconcile myself to the idea that parody is dead.

    These two lines are genuinely priceless:
    I feel he is throwing our life away in pursuit of a pipe dream…
    How can I wake him up to reality?

  16. How unlike the hiome life of our own Dear Queen, no?

    Or King even (maybe). Does the desire to be a tampon count as bottom or top?

  17. Is having your prostate tickled on a regular basis good or bad for it?

    Asking for a friend, obvs

  18. “This has been done successfully with rice products fortified with cricket or locust flours in other parts of the world.”

    Indeed, in famine relief food aid in select regions of Africa to get some proteïn in, and fed to people with no choice between that and starvation.
    Areas which had, in part, a culture of consuming select insects to begin with.

    I am not aware of successful commercial trials of insect “fortified” human-market foodstuffs anywhere else in the world.

  19. @Steve, May 15, 2024 at 11:12 am

    That can’t be true. BBC, Times etc keep telling us plan to make us eat bugs is a conspiracy theory

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