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Thames Water

Nationalise the company.
Wipe out the shareholders.
Pay for whatever debt is considered to be of value with new long-term government bonds.
Provide required new capital.
Change regulation to require appropriate levels of capital investment to deliver rivers and beaches free of sewage from all water companies.
Offer to buy out all English water companies on the same terms as Thames, with that offer diminishing in value as companies delay accepting it.
Problem solved.

Item 5 apparently – from Spud’s own numbers – cost between £260 billion and £600 billion. Is that a wise use of societal resources? No, not money, but actual resources?

Might not a few swimming pools solve the problem rather better?

21 thoughts on “This is fun”

  1. Just a note to those who are wondering what an Extremist is. Check out ‘Funding the future’ and you’ll find out! Stay tuned for a takedown of the post later on

  2. The Meissen Bison

    Pay for whatever debt is considered to be of value with new long-term government bonds.

    Does this mean something? Anything?

  3. The Thames Water prescription may be fun, the prescription below is simultaneously hilarious and a fvcking insult to the productive economy .

    “Public sector pay pressure

    Agree to the pay demands that public servants have quite rightly made because their terms and conditions have deteriorated so badly over the last 14 years.
    Solve the problem of public sector recruitment overnight.
    Change the total morale and productivity of public sector services as a consequence.
    Exalt in the praise for having delivered an outcome that nobody considered possible.
    Relish the extra tax revenue paid by those public servants and the multiplier effect of their additional spending on other taxation.
    Enjoy the benefit of having a workforce able to deliver in every other sector of the economy.

    Problem solved.”

  4. Here in the south west, South West Water has a shareholder scheme for their customers. According to their website, “1 in 14 of our customers are now shareholders thanks to the WaterShare+ scheme”. Not sure if being “wiped out” would appeal to that many voters.

  5. Unless Spud declares that he’s going to send the bill for all this to another country, or Mars, there’s only the UK public who can pay for it, either via higher taxes or higher water bills. There is no one else, despite his (and plenty of other people’s) fantasy that ‘the water companies’ can pay it.

    [As an aside on one of my favourite hobby horses, one of the negative impacts that the existence of limited companies has on the public psyche is this idea – that businesses exist in an of themselves outside human beings, that somehow they have a magic source of money and wealth that comes out of the ether that they are hoarding for themselves and can be easily expropriated for use by us mere mortals without anyone have to lose out. That companies are in effect a source of free money that can be dipped into at any time without cost. When as we all know they are just conduits for the money and wealth owned by actual people, and if you take money from a company in taxes you take it from individuals.]

  6. I know he doesn’t do 2nd order effects but his proposal does (mildly stated) seem to be somewhat in conflict with the UK tradition of having a legal system conducive to private investments which is probably one of the few reasons why there is a lot of investment into the UK today and productive people in general wanting to be based there… (I mean it’s not the weather or the food)

  7. “Problem solved.”




    Oh my God, he’s serious.

    He’s some kind of advisor to the SNP, isn’t he? Has he ever been to Scotland? Obviously never long enough to try to get a rising main fixed.

    For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong. ― HL Mencken.

  8. Apart from the theft and stupidity.
    Even full steam ahead from the govt, the planning cycle for major works, such as sewage plants and so on, is around 15-20 years. Then youve got to build the thing. So we should get clean wanter sometime 2050.
    The same would apply to Rayners new towns.
    China can get planning done inside a week when it wants. One of the benefits of dictating not consulting.

  9. Dennis, Noting The Bright Light Emanating From Ely

    Wipe out the shareholders.
    Pay for whatever debt is considered to be of value with new long-term government bonds.

    That he would advocate for the second after proposing the first is just glorious.

  10. OT, but I see that Paula Vennells has turned on the waterworks during her evidence to the Post Office enquiry. Instructive to see that when the going gets tough these ‘strong and independent’ women that we are told are the future just start crying. Bring back the Patriarchy I say.

    And OT again, I was pleased to see Fatty Clark getting it in the neck in the NHS Blood scandal report just out. I never liked him, his false bonhomie was lapped up by the usual suspects because he was another Tory wet they could lionise as ‘a good Tory’. With a bit of luck he’ll get chucked out of the Lords and lose his title over it. If its a real red letter day he might even get prosecuted.

  11. OT/ Gen election to be announced for 4th July.

    Ken Clarke is a bit like Murphy. Superficially sounds reasonable but thinks he’s the cleverest guy in the room and turns into an unpleasant cvnt when criticised.

  12. Pay for whatever debt is considered to be of value with new long-term government bonds.

    Does this mean something? Anything?

    It means that Spud will look at the debts of the company after taking it over.
    If he agrees that the debt is good for society, he will deign to pay the debt. If he decides that the debt is not good because it isn’t of value to society, then tough luck – it isn’t getting paid.

    So, knowing Spud,
    Firstly, any debt to a bank will be cancelled because banks can just print money to cover the loss.
    Secondly, Any debt to a rich company/individual will be cancelled because they can afford it.
    (Anyone with more money than Spud will be considered rich for the purposes of this exercise)
    Thirdly, Any debt to an individual or organisation of a neo-liberal kind will be cancelled.
    Fourthly, Only debts to good, massively socialist and green entities will be “of value” and paid.
    Fifthly, All debts will be paid by issuing new government debt.
    Sixthly, All new government debt will be paid by making money-printer-go-brrr
    Seventhly, Spud to be granted a peerage for this amazing economic brilliance
    Eighthly, There will be no consequences of this in any way because Spud says so
    Ninthly, Jeez, how does he come up with such long lists?

  13. OT, but still fun…

    Seems that Sunak has announced elections in Juli.
    Now let’s see the fur fly…..

  14. Gen election to be announced for 4th July.

    So, goodbye, then,
    the self-flushing turd that is
    the Conservative Party.

  15. The fat clown captain potato has gone and rang the electoral commission to check whether he, as a man of huge influence, is allowed to comment on the election.

    Hahahaha what an absolute joker. Maybe the whole thing really is satire after all

  16. As promised…

    Rishi Sunak is trying to redefine extremism in the UK, and that’s extremely dangerous.

    it’s dangerous for Sunak to do it why, particularly? Rather he didn’t but what is the difference between him and myriad left wing pressure groups like ‘Hope Not Hate’ who define Keir Starmer as ‘Far Right’ for his muted support of Israel defining it?

    It’s particularly dangerous in the context of a new report that has been produced by someone called Lord Walney, who used to be the Labour MP John Woodcock, but frankly he was one of those who pioneered the move of Labour towards the right wing, and he’s now well and truly on the right of the Conservative Party as far as I can work out.

    Woodcock disagreed with the Tax Justice movement (and Murphy) and that makes him
    ‘far Right’ of course

    And what it seems that Rishi Sunak plus Lord Walney are trying to do together is to redefine those who are considered enemies of the state. They are the people who, according to Lord Walney, might lose the right to protest because they’re trying to undermine democracy.

    Precisely the tactics employed by Joe Biden in the United States and Donald Tusk in Poland – the difference being of course that there they’re victimising ‘fascists’ (defined as those opposing Murphy) so that’s just dandy

    But let’s just look at the list that Rishi Sunak used of those who he thinks are extremists.
    They’re leftists. In other words, anyone who doesn’t agree with him.

    See above – do you think Biden has done a damn thing about BLM or Antifa protests? Policy is along the lines of that reputed by Peruvian leader Oscar Benavides – ‘for my friends everything, for my enemies the law’

    Environmentalists. That’s vast numbers of people in the UK, who are members of things like the National Trust.

    Rubbish – it’s designed specifically for JSO, XR and IB and other militant groups that cause massive disruption without apparent consequence due to liberal judiciary and barristers unwilling to perform their duties against certain politically sympathetic targets – action against such groups and their supporters is long overdue.

    Pacifists. I’m a Quaker, so unsurprisingly, I fall into that category.

    Again – rubbish. I’ll wager this is designed to tackle Hamas fifth columnists. As he falls into that bracket he might be under the umbrella – good – his proto Nazism is outrageous and shouldn’t go unrecognised.


    Again am presuming this is against those who try to stop deportation – my only complaint is it’s those protestors who should be being deported to somewhere like North Korea.

    Peaceful protesters. Peaceful protesters, I stress.

    If you had ‘anti- migrant’ protests along the lines of those in favour of Hamas he would be looking at every participant being arrested


    This from someone who opposes Brexit and use of referenda in any future guise and would have us still in lockdown

    People who believe in the rule of law. That’s very threatening.

    Says the man who wants to arbitrarily seize all private savings and free assets for the state to deploy

    The supporters of human rights, even though, of course, we, the UK, were one of the founding signatories to the UN Declaration of Human Rights and created the European Court of Human Rights.

    Unless they’re ’neoliberals’ or ‘The Far Right’

    And, let’s be clear about this – nationalists, whether they be Scottish, Welsh, or Irish,
    All are extremists.

    Notice one country missing from the quarter of British nations?

    So, look, this is pretty significant for some people. I notice that I happen to tick all those boxes to some degree or other. But am I an extremist? Well, of course I’m not. Not in any shape or form.

    To describe you as an extremist would be a massive understatement – you remain a dangerous, deluded fool whose economic policies would lead to complete ruin and whose belief in his own intelligence is only matched by the complete mismatch between perception and reality

    I believe all people are born equal.

    Unless they’re Jewish
    Discrimination is abhorrent in all its forms.

    Unless it’s Hamas or done against a ‘a fascist state’

    We all have equal rights to partake in society and ask as a result that society should have a bias towards the poor, the disadvantaged and the oppressed.

    Who defines those categories? Quis custodiet custodes?

    i believe we should all have a say in the societies of which we are a part. That, after all, is what being a democrat means.

    Unless you happen to disagree with me in which case you are a ‘neoliberal’
    And I think that no state has the right to demand the subjugation of another to its will, which is why I support many nationalist causes.

    And why he opposes the European Union and ECHR

    So, am I an extremist for subscribing to all those beliefs, or am I simply someone who holding beliefs that are pretty close to the teaching of, well, the Christian church and pretty much every other faith, as well as all the major western and other wisdom traditions, let alone virtually all moral philosophy?

    So he’s now an authority on Western philosophy as well?

    So, the question is, is Sunak right? Or is he peddling a corrupt form of politics designed to
    * favour the rich,
    * deny opportunity to those who are disadvantaged,
    * encourage inequality,
    * promote intolerance and discrimination,
    * undermine democracy, and
    * oppress Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, let alone any other country in the world that he cares to take offence about.

    Whereas it’s fine to block 20,000’people on Twitter and demand that venues exclude people I disagree with

    My answer is he’s promoting toxicity to deny people like me our freedom to express our opinions as we wish.

    I’d agree in part as you hang yourself so allowing you to present yourself as some sort of free speech martyr is absurd

    Now, that’s an action that, to me, that is quite clearly contrary to the UN Declaration of Human Rights.

    Says the man who supports a proxy movement backed by Iran

    And in an era of growing political tension, he must know that this could lead to abuse. And I mean, both obvious online and verbal abuse, but even physical abuse as tensions rise.

    As is freely meted out to people disagreeing with him daily on His blog

    So, what is he up to? Is this fascism? Because that’s what it feels like by denying the right of everyone who opposes him to believe anything and be labelled as anything but an extremist.

    The constant recourse to fascism from someone whose economic agenda is basically a representation of policies from
Mussolini’s era is inadvertently hilarious

    And there’s another question that follows on from that, which is why isn’t Labour roundly condemning this?

    Perhaps because they’re vaguely sane and you even managed to piss off the previous leadership let alone this one?

    I genuinely don’t know the answers to these questions, but what I do know is that they need to be asked,

    Is this an admission of ignorance?

    and I do know that human rights have to be stood up for, because they’ve been hard won. And they could be easily lost. And the cost to us all as a consequence of that will be enormous.

    See previous comments on his support for Hamas

    – [ ]

  17. I’m surprised by the comments here that seem confident that Labour will only last one term in office. It’s a given that they will extend the franchise to 16 year-olds which is going to boost their vote more than it would the tories.

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