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Bring back the subeditors

Sir Keir Starmer is facing demands to make reparations for slavery at a meeting of Commonwealth countries.

The most widely used figure is that the UK owes £18 trillion to the ancestors of slaves – an amount worth seven times Britain’s annual economic output.

No, really, just no. Descendants of slaves, those with slaves as ancestors, perhaps.

17 thoughts on “Bring back the subeditors”

  1. My thoughts:

    1) The number is so high that it amounts to UK making payments to the countries in perpetuity. A bit like the international aid budget but it always goes to the same set of countries with no oversight (not there is much oversight now….) in how the money is spent. The best thing about this is that the leaders of the recipient are so corrupt that we could get the money back by selling them weapons and helping them hide some of the money off shore. In other words the reparations are conditional on them buying weapons, contracting British construction firms to build infrastructure and any “consultancy fees” the corrupt leaders receive are banked in London.

    2) The amount is so high that it might be cheaper just re-colonising the countries and running the countries ourselves.

  2. What Addolff said, in spades. The only way I’d agree to this is if the amout our navy spent on ending the trade was deducted first. Would almost certainly result in them owing us.

  3. Net off the amount we’ve already spent on the West Africa Patrol killing off the slave trade. We’ll accept a cheque.

  4. It’s worth reading the linked article to see how the figures are arrived at. Such mind-boggling levels of stupidity that it does actually make me feel sorry for them. Perhaps they should receive an ex gratia payment from the evolutionary process, because it has surely treated them harshly.

  5. If ever we’ve had a PM likelier to cave to them I can’t think who it might be. Sir Kneel is, in so many different ways, worse than useless. It’s almost a gift he has.

    (Though apparently he was once a decent, second class, boy flautist which is more than I can boast musically. On the other hand I can boast in having no interest at all in the music of Taylor Swift, so I suppose that’s us even-stevens on the musical front.)

    Two-Tier: the man who put the flaws in flautist.

  6. Any reparations should come from those countries and tribes which actually enslaved the Africans, especially the Bantu, Lammy’s tribal ancestors, who were, allegedly, the biggest group of African slavers after the Zulus.
    Instead, why not ask for repayment of the 40% of this countries budget, plus 2% of it’s GDP in freeing the slaves. Add to that, the cost of the Royal Navy West Africa Squadron in seizing over 1,500 ships and freeing 150,000 slaves, at an additional cost of the lives of 1,600 sailors and Marines. Perhaps these Carribean authorities should be paying reparations to the UK as a thank you?

  7. I have been thinking about this some more. I wonder if the reparations (assuming it gets this far) will be paid in lines of credit rather than cash. For example, if a country is awarded 10 billion over the next 10 years, it will receive a 10 billion line of credit with British industry. This means the country does not receive cash but the ability to have infrastructure built by British companies. The British companies will receive the money from the UK government with the other country simply getting a new hydroelectric dam or a new airport.

    The up shot of all this is that we should be thinking about which British companies we should buy shares in.

  8. How much would you have to pay someone to take them Steve??

    More seriously, I naturally feel that the grifters who dumped all these drongos on you should pay you reparations. Did I hear someone suggest about 40 trillion quid??

  9. I think they can reasonably claim to be returned to Status Quo Ante. So no dealing with governments, slaves didn’t have any. Just a boat ride back to Africa for any qualified applicant.

  10. Bboy, Rhoda, idk if you speak to Bharats much, but every Indian who goes to yooni is convinced, because they’re taught this in school, that the British owe them a bajillion, zamillion, infinion rupees for stealing their sacred cow piss or something.

    Maybe that explains the sense of entitlement.

  11. Well Steve, I’m happy to agree that the Injuns owe you infinion etc rupees for attacking innocent traders and forcing you to take over the whole place at vast expense.

    I’m sure the East India Company would have been happy to leave the expense of governing the place to the locals while they concentrated on amassing huge profits.

  12. My family has paid in blood. My 3rd-greatgrandfather went off to war to free the slaves and never returned. He left behind a wife with 5 small children. They lost the farm and were pretty much destitute. I am demanding reparations of the death price, with interest, and 160 acres of farmland from the slave community.

  13. Commonwealth Heads Of Government Meeting – CHOGM.

    Come Hands Outstretched Grabbing Money – Margaret Thatcher (Attributed).

  14. Exactly who’s asking for these reparations? None of the soots I’ve know would be. They don’t have that attitude. The one I have here thinks it’s all long ago, the people involved are long dead & if it hadn’t have happened, she wouldn’t be here, Nor would her mother, father, sisters, brother nor most of the people she grew up with. Her entire culture wouldn’t exist & she’s a very proud baiaina. Like all of them. She certainly wouldn’t want to be african. She despises africans. And I don’t think she’s under any illusion that if the portuguese government paid reparations, she’d get a check in the post. She knows what would happen to the money. It’d all be stolen by politicians, as usual.
    Oh, Lammy? The crook charming Bernie Grant’s protege. Went into politics because he couldn’t cut it as a Tottenham drug dealer. Rumour has it the punters couldn’t smell the skunk past the din coming from his armpits.

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