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Seriously?

Sky News reported two sources alleging that Haigh had made the report in order to gain a newer handset from her employer. A source close to the transport secretary said that was “absolute nonsense” and it was an honest mistake.

Haigh disclosed the conviction to Starmer when she was first appointed to his shadow cabinet and sources said he was supportive of her. As the conviction has now been spent it is no longer on her record.

In a statement, Haigh – who was a special constable in the Metropolitan police between 2009 and 2011 – said: “In 2013 I was mugged while on a night out. I was a young woman and the experience was terrifying.

“I reported it to the police and gave them a list of what I believed had been taken – including a work mobile phone that had been issued by my employer.

“Some time later I discovered that the mobile in question had not been taken. In the interim I had been issued with another work phone. The original work device being switched on triggered police attention and I was asked to come in for questioning.

“My solicitor advised me not to comment during that interview and I regret following that advice.

“The police referred the matter to the [Crown Prosecution Service] and I appeared before magistrates. Under the advice of my solicitor I pleaded guilty – despite the fact this was a genuine mistake from which I did not make any gain. The magistrates accepted all of these arguments and gave me the lowest possible outcome [a discharge] available.”

1) There’s something dodgy to the story.

2) You can get a criminal conviction for not recalling exactly what was in your handbag when it was stolen.

I’m aghast at either answer.

52 thoughts on “Seriously?”

  1. She said nothing in interview (the best thing to do is read a prepared statement and then refuse to answer any questions), and the pleaded guilty to something of which are now says she was not actually guilty on the advice of her solicitor.

    This makes sense a) if you actually are guilty b) and you know they can prove you’re guilty c) of a very serious offence which will attract a significant jail sentence (because you’ll get some years off for the plea).

    Makes no sense in this case.

    Ergo, she is either guilty (as guilty as the Southport rioters currently doing three years for mean tweets), or a moron.

    I expect both, to be fair.

  2. You can get a criminal conviction for not recalling exactly what was in your handbag when it was stolen.

    And are we really supposed to believe that she didn’t know her phone wasn’t in her handbag? Every woman I’ve ever met knows what’s in her handbag on a night out, and they always, but always, have their mobiles on them.

    The Graun doesn’t say whether or not the mugger was ever caught. The odds are he wasn’t. If not I wonder if it ever actually happened.

  3. Guido has a slightly different version:

    According to the paper, when Haigh was working at Aviva as a public policy manager, the company launched an investigation after she that claimed company mobile phones had been stolen or had gone missing on repeated occasions. Aviva referred the matter to the police and Haigh was prosecuted in 2014…

    https://order-order.com/2024/11/28/haigh-revealed-to-have-fraud-conviction-over-stolen-phone-investigation/

    (…repeated occasions… [employer] referred the matter to the police…)

  4. If only we had a mainstream media actually doing some investigative work instead of loyally cutting and pasting the fever dreams of Starmer et al

    Now, about all these renewable energy contracts..

  5. Guido has it that ‘Numerous sources tell Sky the false report was made so she could get “a more modern work handset that was being rolled out to her colleagues at the time”‘. That I can believe. I knew someone who was responsible for company phones etc. There was always an appreciable rise in phones breaking and having accidents around the time the new model was released.

  6. Wat @ 8.11, I was like that, until a company IT ‘expert’ furnished me with a new laptop and at the same time, proceeded to move all my files from one server to a new one. It was taking some time, so I left him to it and went home. Next morning, log on, all the folders were there. But empty.

    Luckily it was only three months of work down the Swanee, but it put me off being keen to get a new shiny anything.

  7. Huh?
    This doesn’t pass the sniff test.

    So she gets mugged and loses purse. Thinks purse has work phone in it, reports stolen. Later finds phone.
    This is where is stinks.
    She says that turning the phone on drew the attention of the police and she was asked to come in for questions. She consulted with a solicitor who told her not to say anything.

    So she found it. Does she want us to believe that the police came screaming round with lights and sirens? For a phone? They barely show up if you’re being murdered these days. No doubt they had to track the phone, realised it was where she was for a while and then had questions.
    She had time to consult a solicitor before being questioned. And she was ‘asked to come in for questioning’ not hauled out.
    All she had to do was email her employer saying ‘oh I found the phone, I’ll bring it in when next in office or I can post it if that’s easier ‘. It shows intent to return. And she can then also inform the police that it was found so they aren’t wasting time looking for it high and low (I’m sure it was a top priority for them).
    Then when she goes in for questioning she can point to the email and the fact she’s informed them it was an honest mistake in her defence when they ask questions.
    Unless of course, and I’m just theorising alleged potential theories here about what theoretically might have allegedly potentially occurred,.. she did actually just keep it, thinking it was reported stolen and therefore just forgotten about and up for grabs. Hence why her solicitor told her not to say anything, because the evidence against her was quite impressive.
    And she did make a gain. The phone. The fact it no doubt got returned to the employer by the police doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have gained from it.

    *I’m not sure how it works. Since she pleaded guilty and was convicted, do we have to put all those allegedlyies in there or are they redundant since, having been convicted, she’s clearly a bad ‘un who dunnit?

  8. The preposterous red hair says it all. Fine on a teenager. On a middle-aged woman? She may as well wear sandwich boards saying: “I’m a pernicious deluded nutter.”

  9. 1) There’s something dodgy to the story.

    2) You can get a criminal conviction for not recalling exactly what was in your handbag when it was stolen.

    I’m aghast at either answer.

    Given the conflicting statements, I’m going to go with 1).

    Given that she’s been fired, despite “telling Starmer beforehand”, it seems reasonable that her story didn’t pass muster second time around.

    If Guido is prepared to put it to pixel, especially given the UK libel laws, then my gut feeling is that Guido’s explanation is closer to the truth.

  10. The preposterous red hair says it all. Fine on a teenager. On a middle-aged woman? She may as well wear sandwich boards saying: “I’m a pernicious deluded nutter.”

    She’s a Labour MP. That confirms she’s a pernicious deluded nutter absent of all other information.

  11. Chernyy Drakon, I’m totally impressed by all the jargon. TTK might have a job for you if you’re willing to submit to the frontal, or total, lobotomy which appears essential to actually consort with the bastard. Or become a Muslim…

  12. Wikipedia: born 22 July 1987
    “in 2013 I was mugged in London. As a 24-year-old woman…”

    So she was either late 25 or 26. Another Labour MP that can’t count?

  13. We’re not going to solve the problem of fucking useless, grasping, lying politicians until the electorate take a more active role. Got sick of the Tories, vote in the other cheek of the same arse.
    The country deserves what is coming.

  14. We’re not going to solve the problem of fucking useless, grasping, lying politicians until the electorate take a more active role.

    Absolutely. Direct Democracy is the way to go in the long run, a la Switzerland, but in the meantime, vote Reform UK at every chance.

  15. I have serious doubts that Reform are up to the job but for 2029 they might be the only option. Let’s hope for zero seats for the uniparty.

  16. @Joe Smith – At present, I’d settle for “more responsive to the needs of the electorate than the other two cheeks of the uniparty arse”.

    Given the fragmentation of the voter base, there is no more strategic thinking possible, only tactical manoeuvring around the next election. This has been true since about 2010 though, really.

  17. There’s conditional discharges and absolute discharges. On Haigh’s version, the prosecution should never have been brought and the magistrates should have given an absolute discharge. So which was it?

    We know the police and CPS are capable of all sorts of stupidity and malice but it’s obvious we’re not being told everything.

  18. @ Joe Smith
    November 29, 2024 at 10:36 am

    “The country deserves what is coming”

    That’s unfair on those of us old enough to remember how Liebor fuck up everything they touch, who’ve watched the fake Tories do much the same, and realised voting for Reform was unlikely to achieve anything. WE desperately wanted a real alternative to vote for, and don’t deserve the approaching horrors…

    P.S. I wish I’d compiled a list of all the houses in well-to-do areas displaying “Vote Labour” signs. It would be worth getting some “I bet you’re feeling right idiots now” flyers printed and posted through their letterboxes…

  19. Seems to me her solicitor was either incompetent or very good, depending upon the actual facts of the case. If the latter I imagine he or she would be mightily annoyed right now after getting criticised by Haigh.

  20. JG – I’m surprised he didn’t tell her “This is MAGA Country!”

    In a statement, Haigh – who was a special constable in the Metropolitan police between 2009 and 2011 – said: “In 2013 I was mugged while on a night out. I was a young woman and the experience was terrifying

    If you’re not fit enough to fight off a mugger, how the fuck are you a “special constable”? Why is the Brit gov determined to put weak people in uniform?

    I remember a case in the army years ago where a quartermaster did gay things to a private without his consent. They both got the boot, one for being a dirty old pervert and the other for not being able to fight off a fat middle aged man.

  21. The colour of her mugger is less interesting than the colour of her hair which seems to change with the phases of the moon or something – look at the library press pics of her that abound today and she looks like a one-woman stonewall convention.

    To be fair, though, at least she wasn’t an “economist”.

  22. Dixon of Dock Green: “I smell a rat, Andy.”

    Andy, the detective son-in-law: “So do I, George. I’ll look into it.”

  23. Amusingly a chap called Kier Stamer was the Director of Public Prosecutions at the time of the offence. Obviously the case would not have risen to his level at the time, but I bet he got full details of the prosecution‘s case not long ago . Probably shortly before she “resigned”.

  24. Bloke in North Dorset

    We’re being told TTK knew about this and still appointed her to the shadow cabinet and then to the cabinet in a job with a £30bn budget.

    Its a spent conviction and if anyone believes in the rehabilitation of offenders its got to be Labour.

    So either TTK was told last night that there’s more to this story than he was told at first, hew knew there is more to this story and didn’t think it would get out or there’s some very low politics going on and he’s looking for an excuse for a reshuffle.

    I’m going with low politics and option 1.

    PS Even though its a spent conviction am I right in thinking that because it was fraud it still bars here from certain jobs that require high levels of trust eg accountant, lawyer, working with children and the vulnerable?

  25. @Grist,
    Thanks I try to keep up to date with technical terms.
    Would love a job with TTK. Think of the lovely public sector pay and pension for doing fuck all.

    Re: not fighting off the mugger.
    I have some sympathy for her not doing that. I forgot one would think twice before doing so, especially if the mugger is of a dusky hue. Say a hurty word to them or injure one of our diverse enrichment while fighting them off and plod will come after you hard.
    Easier to carry a decoy wallet and let them have that.
    Even easier is to never go into cities. Let them collapse under their own failings.

  26. If you’re not fit enough to fight off a mugger, how the fuck are you a “special constable”?

    In this case it’s probably “special” in the sense of “special little snowflake”

  27. BiND,

    I’m trying to figure out the dates but it looks like it wasn’t a spent conviction when she was made a minister, by a few months. And she became an MP not long after it.

  28. Chernyy’s correct. When you have your phone stolen & the receiver of it turns it on, the police instantly rush round & arrest them & you get your phone back. Right. Happens to all of us, all of the time.
    It’ll be the service provider picked this one up. No doubt they noticed that the SIM she’s put in the phone, identifiable by its IMIEI(?) is registered to the same person who reported the phone stolen. It’s not so much that she’s a fraudster, more that she’s a terminally stupid fraudster. If she’d bought a PAYG & not registered it, she wouldn’t have been captured. What lies at the route of it, of course, is the overwhelming sense of entitlement these people have.

  29. or there’s some very low politics going on and he’s looking for an excuse for a reshuffle.

    Thing is, who’s he going to get, from a talent pool a micron deep? And that includes him.

  30. Just a thought. It was a work phone. So no doubt locked to a service provider. She didn’t think of going to some dodgy, no questions asked geezer to unlock it & use a PAYG. She got a SIM from the same SP. Your contract SP’s don’t do hand out PAYG SIMs do they? Didn’t when I left. And no doubt she wanted to claim calls on her new number on expenses. Like I said, the sense of entitlement always gets them.

  31. Bloke in North Dorset

    bis,

    Her phone will have been on a company account and given the size of Aviva they will have had their own account team inside the MNO. All the phones will have been SIM locked so even if she tried a new SIM it will have been flagged in the MNO and still been blocked and no doubt they will have told Aviva that it had been turned on and I expect they’ll have alerted it to the police.

    Employees losing phones and them appearing on the black market or with family and friends is the sort of corporate scam that large companies will put pressure on the police to investigate, so plod nipping round to her house to find out what’s happening, especially as the MNO will have been able to figure out where it was switched on, is within the bounds of plausibility, even for plod.

  32. @BiND

    PS Even though its a spent conviction am I right in thinking that because it was fraud it still bars here from certain jobs that require high levels of trust eg accountant, lawyer, working with children and the vulnerable?

    No, not as long as it’s properly disclosed.

    There’s a very amusing memoir called Animal QC by Gary Bell QC (now KC), which talks extensively of his early career as a football hooligan and convicted fraudster.

    He was allowed to become a barrister, but only on the basis that he had freely and frankly admitted the offence (of fraud, he was never convicted over the hooliganism), and because (I suspect) he was from a very poor background (single mother in a Nottingham pit village, worked as a miner, a labourer, selling tat door to door etc).

  33. BiW – she has mad hair, just like all the other special snowflakes

    CD – Never consent to becoming a victim. Be like Trump. Fight! Fight! Fight!

  34. You need to choose your fights with care, fighting off a mugger could easily result in your being stabbed. The two times it’s happened to me (not in UK) I successfully resisted, but I realise in retrospect that it might have been a mistake.

  35. Its indicative of the general level of dishonesty that pervades the UK now. Perfectly ordinary people see no problem with this sort of fraud. Everybody is at it, claiming they’ve ‘lost’ their phone, or the dog knocked the TV off its stand, or every single expensive electrical item just happened to be downstairs when the house got flooded. Insurance fraud is seen as a perfectly legit way to get free new stuff.

  36. It’d be a special sort of mugger that tried it on with someone who looks like they could suck rivets out of girders. Though with the hair, maybe from the back she looked like a ditsy undergrad.

  37. The colour of her mugger is less interesting than the colour of her hair which seems to change with the phases of the moon or something – look at the library press pics of her that abound today and she looks like a one-woman stonewall convention.

    TMB, maybe she’s just a Mollie Sugden fan.

  38. Bloke in North Dorset

    @Intrested
    I might trust a barrister who’s admitted fraud because he wouldn’t be handling my money, but not an accountant or solicitor.

    @Jim

    Its indicative of the general level of dishonesty that pervades the UK now. Perfectly ordinary people see no problem with this sort of fraud.

    Was there ever a golden aga? In the mid ’80s I got quite disgusted with someone who I thought I knew quite well who admitted that every year he “lost” a camera or something similar and that covered the cost of his effects insurance. It turned out I was one of the few not doing something similar.

    In the 60s working cash in hand was happening and there were spivs during the war.

    Maybe its more normalised because we have more stuff and people expect more stuff, but I’m not convinced it wouldn’t have happened in the past if they’d had more stuff.

    @bis

    And the odds on it being an iPhone are?

    In 2013? I’d say as close to a certainty as makes no difference.

  39. “ The Times has been told that Aviva began a formal investigation into Haigh after establishing that the stolen mobile phone was being used to call her existing contacts, including one of her relatives.”
    Bang to rights.

  40. Haigh had made the report in order to gain a newer handset
    Happens all the time in IT.
    “Ooo, newstarter has got a shiney new laptop, I think I’ll “accidently” drop mine down the stairs, demand a new one.”
    # Ok, here’s a refurb from stores of the old model.

  41. “ The Times has been told that Aviva began a formal investigation into Haigh after establishing that the stolen mobile phone was being used to call her existing contacts, including one of her relatives.”

    Big Oof that bit.

    Yeah, she can fvck right off. Lying cow.

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