25 thoughts on “Don’t these people have grannies?”
Grikath
Ah… This was already the first mistake:
I was confident that I would be just like the stylish, breezy mothers I remembered from girlhood, gallivanting around town with the 2024 equivalent of a rock star baby daddy (a digital artist) and a new, adorable human accessory.
a human accessory….
She got knocked up because she wanted an adorable human accessory….
Forget Granny… bet you she never ever listened to her mother, going “nah! nah! nah! Can’t heeear you!” …
What the actual hell?
Bloke in Powys
Should have been vivisected before it bred.
The Meissen Bison
Forget Granny, what about Rhiannon Loosmy Corset?
Stonyground
I once put a set of gearbox internals into a motorbike engine with my baby daughter in a papoose type thing on my chest. Guys too can live the dream while caring for our offspring.
John
Doesn’t she realise the only truly cool mums are those sufficiently perceptive (A.K.A. sick) to realise they have the ultimate fashion accessory – a trans baby.
Norman
Living as I do in a North London nappy valley I find it so entertaining when the local nose-in-the-air my-body-is-a-temple smug progressive girlies pup, and their carefully curated lifestyle and self-image does a windscreen bugsplat. One can take a walk down the High St. and watch it happen in real time. Makes my day.
Bloke in Germany
I used to work in a 80% young female office, as a manager. Whenever one of the ladies on maternity leave brought their latest adorable human accessory in to the office to be cooed over I would pretend to scold them out loud. “Don’t bring that in here, they’ll all want one!”
Fortunately the company was the opposite of woke, and we had employed every person in Germany who actually has a sense of humour, so HR were never informed.
RichardT
Bloke in Germany said:
“Fortunately the company … had employed every person in Germany who actually has a sense of humour”
Small office then?
(Although I’ve just noticed that you said “every person in Germany” rather than “every German”)
Andrew M
Granny either doesn’t live nearby (especially common in London); or she’s still in work herself.
Andrew M
Or granny lives abroad, because one or both parents is a foreigner (something like 1 in 3 couples these days?).
Steve
gallivanting around town with the 2024 equivalent of a rock star baby daddy (a digital artist)
Let me guess what the rock star looks like: skinny with no muscles, prematurely balding, “cool” glasses they all buy from the Nob Shop, ironic facial hair he buys beard wax for, T-shirts, expensive Apple products, probably takes lots of pictures of himself with an open mouth?
At least he managed to impregnate a woman, somehow.
Steve
PS – Hitler had a great sense of humor.
Here’s one of his best jokes:
Klopf! Klopf!
Allo?
Ich bin es, der Führer!
Had them rolling on the floor in the Wolfsschanze.
Mein hund hat keine nase.
Ltw
The trick to being a stylish, breezy mother is being able to afford not to work.
allthegoodnamesaretaken – it was a German themed candlelight soiree.
I feared the wurst.
Steve
Theo – I find the German sense of humor quite charming.
Everybody loves Mr Bean.
Theophrastus
Steve
Dinner for One is mildly amusing, but not hilarious. The tripping on the tiger’s head gag is very well done, though. As for Mr Bean, “Everybody loves Mr Bean” is false because I don’t. Again, mildly amusing, but not “love” him or find him hilarious…
Steve
Theo – well, I love Mr Bean. Rowan Atkinson is a comedy great. The genius of Mr Bean is up there with Buster Keaton and Charlie C, people will still be chuckling 100 years from now.
Speaking of Rowan, Blackadder had a great joke about how sincere and serious Germans are:
Baron von Richthoven : Ah, and the Lord Flasheart. This is indeed an honour. Finally, the two greatest gentleman fliers in the world meet. Two men of honour, who have jousted together in the cloud-strewn glory of the skies, face to face at last. How often I have rehearsed this moment of destiny in my dreams. The panoply to encapsulate the unspoken nobility of a comradeship.
[Flasheart shoots von Richthoven]
Lord Flasheart : What a poof!
bobby b
I do like the fact that, at the end, she shows that her previous attitude was ridiculous, and she becomes the mom we want.
I remember sitting in the house long ago, with several miniature humans scattered about barfing and crying, and ruing how “my life” was over. No more fun bar nights, no more spur-of-the-moment travels . . . .
But it wasn’t much later when I knew that my life had only improved and gained purpose, and my ideas of fun simply changed.
Sounds as if she hit that realization, too.
Steve
Bobby – great work.
Yes, I think there should be a lot more articles like this. I work with loads of childless Millennials, and I fear for them. They don’t realise (yet) that they’re missing out on the greatest adventure.
I believe the children are our future.
Southerner
1, Rowan Atkinson doesn’t love Mr. Bean; he thinks that the character is an odious twat.
2. Granny long ago told the cool mum to go to hell and enjoy the ride.
Norman
@bobby b: me too. It’s called “growing up”. There’s not so much of it around now as there was.
Ah… This was already the first mistake:
a human accessory….
She got knocked up because she wanted an adorable human accessory….
Forget Granny… bet you she never ever listened to her mother, going “nah! nah! nah! Can’t heeear you!” …
What the actual hell?
Should have been vivisected before it bred.
Forget Granny, what about Rhiannon Loosmy Corset?
I once put a set of gearbox internals into a motorbike engine with my baby daughter in a papoose type thing on my chest. Guys too can live the dream while caring for our offspring.
Doesn’t she realise the only truly cool mums are those sufficiently perceptive (A.K.A. sick) to realise they have the ultimate fashion accessory – a trans baby.
Living as I do in a North London nappy valley I find it so entertaining when the local nose-in-the-air my-body-is-a-temple smug progressive girlies pup, and their carefully curated lifestyle and self-image does a windscreen bugsplat. One can take a walk down the High St. and watch it happen in real time. Makes my day.
I used to work in a 80% young female office, as a manager. Whenever one of the ladies on maternity leave brought their latest adorable human accessory in to the office to be cooed over I would pretend to scold them out loud. “Don’t bring that in here, they’ll all want one!”
Fortunately the company was the opposite of woke, and we had employed every person in Germany who actually has a sense of humour, so HR were never informed.
Bloke in Germany said:
“Fortunately the company … had employed every person in Germany who actually has a sense of humour”
Small office then?
(Although I’ve just noticed that you said “every person in Germany” rather than “every German”)
Granny either doesn’t live nearby (especially common in London); or she’s still in work herself.
Or granny lives abroad, because one or both parents is a foreigner (something like 1 in 3 couples these days?).
gallivanting around town with the 2024 equivalent of a rock star baby daddy (a digital artist)
Let me guess what the rock star looks like: skinny with no muscles, prematurely balding, “cool” glasses they all buy from the Nob Shop, ironic facial hair he buys beard wax for, T-shirts, expensive Apple products, probably takes lots of pictures of himself with an open mouth?
At least he managed to impregnate a woman, somehow.
PS – Hitler had a great sense of humor.
Here’s one of his best jokes:
Klopf! Klopf!
Allo?
Ich bin es, der Führer!
Had them rolling on the floor in the Wolfsschanze.
Mein hund hat keine nase.
The trick to being a stylish, breezy mother is being able to afford not to work.
Steve: how do you know it was him?
Most Germans find ‘Dinner for One’ hilarious:
https://youtu.be/5n7VI0rC8ZA?si=NIEDVcb6QlUWu6Kj
They also seem to like Mr Bean.
Strange people…
allthegoodnamesaretaken – it was a German themed candlelight soiree.
I feared the wurst.
Theo – I find the German sense of humor quite charming.
Everybody loves Mr Bean.
Steve
Dinner for One is mildly amusing, but not hilarious. The tripping on the tiger’s head gag is very well done, though. As for Mr Bean, “Everybody loves Mr Bean” is false because I don’t. Again, mildly amusing, but not “love” him or find him hilarious…
Theo – well, I love Mr Bean. Rowan Atkinson is a comedy great. The genius of Mr Bean is up there with Buster Keaton and Charlie C, people will still be chuckling 100 years from now.
Speaking of Rowan, Blackadder had a great joke about how sincere and serious Germans are:
Baron von Richthoven : Ah, and the Lord Flasheart. This is indeed an honour. Finally, the two greatest gentleman fliers in the world meet. Two men of honour, who have jousted together in the cloud-strewn glory of the skies, face to face at last. How often I have rehearsed this moment of destiny in my dreams. The panoply to encapsulate the unspoken nobility of a comradeship.
[Flasheart shoots von Richthoven]
Lord Flasheart : What a poof!
I do like the fact that, at the end, she shows that her previous attitude was ridiculous, and she becomes the mom we want.
I remember sitting in the house long ago, with several miniature humans scattered about barfing and crying, and ruing how “my life” was over. No more fun bar nights, no more spur-of-the-moment travels . . . .
But it wasn’t much later when I knew that my life had only improved and gained purpose, and my ideas of fun simply changed.
Sounds as if she hit that realization, too.
Bobby – great work.
Yes, I think there should be a lot more articles like this. I work with loads of childless Millennials, and I fear for them. They don’t realise (yet) that they’re missing out on the greatest adventure.
I believe the children are our future.
1, Rowan Atkinson doesn’t love Mr. Bean; he thinks that the character is an odious twat.
2. Granny long ago told the cool mum to go to hell and enjoy the ride.
@bobby b: me too. It’s called “growing up”. There’s not so much of it around now as there was.
Steve, surely it was
Klopf! Klopf!
Allo?
Wir stellen die Fragen!
Rowdy – 😀