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Imagine the incentive effects on this

Assisted dying would be provided by private companies under plans to stop a flood of requests hampering efforts to bring down NHS waiting lists.

Options to contract out assisted death to the private sector are being considered in government in an effort to ease pressure on NHS clinics while dealing with doctors’ insistence that a separate service is needed to help patients to end their own lives.

No, go on, just imagine…..

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Tim the Coder
Tim the Coder
1 year ago

Combine with TV Licence collection for added savings? /sarc

CAP-you-please plc?

Seriously, this is like the cleansing of the asylums in pre-war Germany.
Take the pill and save the country!

El Draque
El Draque
1 year ago

Kills-R-Us?

Theophrastus
Theophrastus
1 year ago

EasyGo?
Toppers?

Steve
Steve
1 year ago

Ministers are said to be “not dogmatic” about how the service is structured and are looking at other countries where doctors with a particular interest in assisted dying run specialist services. “You could end up with what you have in the States and Australia, where a ­cohort of doctors specialise in assisted dying and are passionate about it,” said one government source.

We need a cohort that’s passionate about providing end of life services to MP’s, free at the point of stab.

Geoffers
Geoffers
1 year ago

“So we’re agreed on the arrangements for your ailing father. And … now your mum’s left the room, have you heard about our 2 -for-1 offer?”

Bloke in Wales
Bloke in Wales
1 year ago

a ­cohort of doctors specialise in assisted dying and are passionate about it

Is Harold Shipman their patron saint? Motto “Primum nocere”?

Person in Pictland
Person in Pictland
1 year ago

I have at last realised why they call it “assisted dying” rather than “assisted suicide”.

Because “suicide” implies it’s voluntary.

RichardT
RichardT
1 year ago

Don’t worry, with the sort of numpties the government contracts with, it’ll be years before they actually manage to off anyone.

Mind you, they’ll probably get the wrong person – perhaps we should be worried.

Boddicker
Boddicker
1 year ago

Harold Shipman was capable of managing his GP workload – pregnant ladies, coughs and colds, and still had time for his private work on the side. There’s no record of him going on strike either.

KJP
KJP
1 year ago

Killing patients is the one area the NHS is good at.

Maybe a firm of undertakers could offer a one stop service – Kill ’em & Grill ’em has a ring to it.

Andyf
Andyf
1 year ago

At least recruiting and training shouldn’t be a problem. Many organized crime gangs already have people with the necessary skill set.

Agammamon
Agammamon
1 year ago

Monty Python wasn’t a comedy – they were ahead of the curve.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DscJ5PFkZxQ

Chernyy Drakon
Chernyy Drakon
1 year ago

Maybe a firm of undertakers could offer a one stop service – Kill ’em & Grill ’em has a ring to it.

It’s be a brave person who frequented the kebab shop next door…

Barbarus
Barbarus
1 year ago

Better than your NHS doctor doing it. The effect this is going to have on medical ethics is terrifying enough without having the people you have to trust to keep you alive actually being the same ones that are ready to kill you.

Boganboy
Boganboy
1 year ago

What about ‘assisted dying’ for murderers, rapists, drug smugglers etc??

If that works as well as I’d expect, you could then go on to illegal immigrants!!

It’d also be a boon to your tourist industry. Imagine the advertisement. ‘Come and see a genuine hanging at good old Tyburn!!!’

Mr Womby
Mr Womby
1 year ago

Richard T says: –
“Mind you, they’ll probably get the wrong person”
The confusion between Buttle and Tuttle springs to mind.

jgh
jgh
1 year ago

There’s a shortage of organ donors….. make littering a capital offense.

Southerner
Southerner
1 year ago

The anti-euthanasia gang have cut and pasted the pro-abortion narrative, with a few words changed.

PF
PF
1 year ago

“make littering a capital offense”

Actually…. (kills several birds…)

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