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Out to pasture with you, Matey

Vegans and Muslims must be catered for in a possible food apocalypse, experts have said, warning that Britain is woefully unprepared for “shocks” to the supply chain.

Professor Tim Lang, a professor of food policy, said that if there was, for example, a cyberattack or Russian assault that knocked out Britain’s “vulnerable” food chain, ration packs would need to offer comfort.

If people were “in psychological shock they need to have things they are familiar and comfortable with”, he added.

So, canned Woolton Pie anyone?

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Theophrastus
Theophrastus
10 months ago

Vegans and muslims? Let them eat pork!

Grikath
Grikath
10 months ago

Hmmm… muslims are specifically allowed to eat anything if it’s a matter of survival.
And Vegans will learn that their first-world deluded food fad is just that. And shall learn to eat what’s available, and like it. Or starve ( which may well solve the problem altogether…)

Something, something, B-Ark.

Esteban
Esteban
10 months ago

Just curious, does anyone know if a Muslim would be allowed to eat pork in an emergency, i.e., eat it or starve? My understanding of other religions is that almost all prohibitions go out the window to save lives.

Person in Pictland
Person in Pictland
10 months ago

“a professor of food policy”: och, feed him to cannibals.

Swannypol
Swannypol
10 months ago

Would a muslim be allowed to eat a vegan in an emergency?
It would solve most of the problem.
Asking for a friend.

Boganboy
Boganboy
10 months ago

You’ve made me curious Swannypol. Would a vegan be allowed to eat a muslim in an emergency??

Surely that would solve the rest of the problem?

Gamecock
Gamecock
10 months ago

Are Vegans and Muslims incapable of preparing for themselves? Is Prof Lang confessing that Vegans and Muslims really are mentally challenged?

Western Bloke
Western Bloke
10 months ago

“Sir David Omand, the former director of GCHQ, told the festival that Britain’s “complex” food supply systems had made the country “more vulnerable”, adding that it would “struggle” if “shocks” such as widespread cyberattacks or a military assault were to happen.”

He was last director of GCHQ under Blair. He has fuck all understanding of cyberattacks, let alone the specifics of cyberattacks on retailers.

Britain’s “complex” food supply systems are a benefit. Because Tesco, Aldi, Asda, Sainsburys and the Co-op are all running different systems. The thousands of suppliers to them are all running different systems. You can take down M&S but you can’t hit the whole market.

This is before we get into things like how retail stores can roll back their till versions to the previous day, or how they always have a manual process to sell milk and loaves of bread.

Hay Festival Wankers + M&S hack = a load of cunts looking to interfere more in things.

Chris Miller
Chris Miller
10 months ago

Not much need for the Rooskies to mount a ‘cyberattack’ when we have Milibrain ready and able to plunge the country into darkness at a nod from his Moscow handler.

Gamecock
Gamecock
10 months ago

“a load of cunts looking to interfere more in things”

At their heart, they are communists. By “food security,” they mean government takeover. Tens of millions will die.

‘ration packs would need to offer comfort’

Comfort would come from 10 megatons on Moscow.

Bloke in North Dorset
Bloke in North Dorset
10 months ago

The free market quickly retired the food supply when we got locked down (probably a bigger shock to the system than any cyber attack) and I’d trust it over the government any day of the week.

Bloke in North Dorset
Bloke in North Dorset
10 months ago

“Retired” grrr, rewired.

Norman
Norman
10 months ago

Well, Omand is right in one way. The single point of failure for modern industrial economies is the electricity grid. Take that down for an extended period – days, not just hours – and our ‘complex’ food supply system would grind to a halt.

Along with everything else. You wouldn’t need a military attack; we’d take ourselves down in a Mad Max civil war. And in such a war, don’t discount the Channel Sailors: they’ve had more recent experience of Being Hard than us and came here for our stuff in the first place. Push comes to shove they’ll kill us as soon as look at us, for the contents of a pensioner’s purse.

Agammamon
Agammamon
10 months ago

Muslims aren’t going to have any particular problem in a ‘food apocalypse’.

‘Halal’ isn’t that hard of a standard for illiterate goat-herders to manage – British Muslims aren’t any worse off than their ancestors.

I do notice that no one seems concerned about observant Jews though – keeping kosher after the end is going to be a lot more difficult than not eating pork and observing butchering guidelines.

Agammamon
Agammamon
10 months ago

Ironically, vegans might have a much easier time – in a ‘food apocalypse’ you’d expect meat to be pretty hard to come by so the lentil-eaters should be happy we’re all eating less of it.

jgh
jgh
10 months ago

The recent empty shelves in the Co-Op just meant I went across the road to Heron’s instead.

Gamecock
Gamecock
10 months ago

“don’t discount the Channel Sailors”

It’s worse than you think, since your fine government disarmed the public. Channel Sailors are not so constrained. It is possible you now have one million ARMED jihadis just waiting for the signal.

john77
john77
10 months ago

Why are vegans particularly vulnerable? Can’t they grow vegetables in their gardens/allotments?
Most fruit and veg will keep for several days (in some caes months) without refrigeration. Surely carnivores should be more vulnerable to cyber attacks that damage refrigeration and other systems?

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