These missions are sadly undermined by the authors’ inability to express Big Thoughts, or indeed to have any thoughts longer than half a paragraph. The text veers between a rather glib, non-chronological narrative covering two decades of politics, strings of non-sequiturs, mentions of “popular politics books I’ve read” or “YouTube videos that might be relevant”, Noël Coward quotes and, peppered between, some observations on the value of eccentric traditions.
Penny Mordaunt has sadly missed her vocation in life, because as a politician she is a dead loss.
She should go on the telly, reading the news or something. Her performances at the death of HMQE2 and the coronation were memorable and expert ( as well as unexpectedly sexy ).
She’s definitely sexy in my book, but I always liked tall, sturdy girls. Not fat, sturdy. And I think more so than most men. I had as much fun with them but they were easier to pick up due to less competition.
Actually it’s Dame Penny Mordaunt now, because King Charles saw how her political career was as useful as tits on a giraffe and decided she must be a long lost relative or something.
The lack of self awareness of this woman is incredible to behold:
Mordaunt was present at the 2025 Conservative Party Conference, held from 5-8 October, with the Telegraph reporting she was a “popular figure at conference” where she sold out both of her books and styled herself a “national treasure and MP on sabbatical”
Like the rest of the losers in the Con Party, she professes a Damascene conversion to the right wing after being dumped by voters. Now you understand the historical necessity of Inquisition.
If I was advising Penny, I’d tell her to stop reminding people she used to be an MP, for the same reason former band members in the Lost Prophets don’t go around telling people what they did.
Elsewhere, we are given profundities about love: “In the words of Wet Wet Wet, it really is all around.”
The irony of cribbing words from a band that cribbed the words – inauthenticity layered upon ignorance upon vacuousness is Penny Mordaunt to a tee.
Incidentally, I met Juliet Samuel a while ago – absolutely astonishing tits.
They’re not even the words of WetWetWet. LIAA was a cover.
What did you think I meant by ‘cribbing words from a band that cribbed the words’?
I learnt something from the review. I’ve always associated “mast” with beeches rather than oaks but it seems it can be applied to oaks too. Did you ever?
“Noël Coward quotes”
Oh, so probably not a review of Murphy’s latest then?
The text veers between a rather glib, non-chronological narrative covering two decades of politics, strings of non-sequiturs, mentions of “popular politics books I’ve read” or “YouTube videos that might be relevant”, Noël Coward quotes and, peppered between, some observations on the value of eccentric traditions.
Needless to say, Penny had the last laugh