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Surprise!

“We had an arrangement, be discreet and don’t be blatant. There had to be payment, it had to be with strangers,” sings Lily Allen in her surprisingly candid and detailed album thought to be about her open relationship with her ex-husband.

The album has catapulted the concept of non-monogamous relationships into the spotlight, and couples therapists report that an increasing number of their clients are choosing to go down this route.

But as Allen’s album makes clear, while open marriages, or consensual non-monogamy, may work for some, they can also go very wrong – and there are a number of common pitfalls to avoid.

That’s the popette star whose marriage just burst asunder in a spurting puss of bitterness and recrimination, right?

Odd how often Granny’s right ’bout sex ‘n’ stuff, innit?

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Boganboy
Boganboy
6 months ago

One has to admit that Virginia Giuffre’s ‘open relationship’ with Epstein didn’t work out too well. Or maybe I should be talking about the one with Andy??

Grist
Grist
6 months ago

A round of applause for Allen. Or is it just one clap? I’m sure clap came into it somewhere…

JuliaM
JuliaM
6 months ago

Daughter of one of the worst and wokest ‘actors’ in the country, if I recall.

Steve
Steve
6 months ago
Reply to  JuliaM

Mockney cunts, Errol

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bloke in spain
bloke in spain
6 months ago
Reply to  JuliaM

I’m quite pleased to say that before looking it up on Wiki, I hadn’t the vaguest who her father is. And after looking him up, I still haven’t. I’m not even sure who she is. And I like the music scene.

dearieme
dearieme
6 months ago

Show biz person proves to be a bit of a harlot. Whatever next?

Grist
Grist
6 months ago

Silly me, I thought her Dad was probably Ray and his boy, the Lord, taught her all the acting…

Western Bloke
Western Bloke
6 months ago

In this case, it means paying for hookers. Which is not a terrible way to do things. Quite normal in some societies. The point being that hookers aren’t going to break up the family like a girlfriend will.

They’re both a bit messed up I think, but here’s my thinking on what happened here: she hooked up with and married David Harbour when his career was starting to take off. He was starting to get known (particularly for Stranger Things), who each could get to shag similar. A lot of actors suit young, romantic roles, but David Harbour has this physicality that means he suits older roles like dads or Father Christmas. He’s gone from guy in lots of movies that you don’t know to major supporting actor. D list to B list. Which means you get a lot more poon.

Steve
Steve
6 months ago
Reply to  Western Bloke

Which is not a terrible way to do things.

Yes it is. Whores are riddled with germs mate. You might as well stick it in a sewage pipe.

Western Bloke
Western Bloke
6 months ago
Reply to  Steve

As BIS says, the bigger chance of disease is picking up a girl in a bar.

bloke in spain
bloke in spain
6 months ago
Reply to  Western Bloke

There was a mine accident in S. America, few years back. Lot of miners trapped underground. Wives & the local hookers gathered at the pit entrance waiting for news of their men. No friction whatsoever. Why? The culture. The wives would far prefer husbands play away with professionals. They’re realists. If it happens they don’t want it to be other wives, sisters daughters or anyone else in the community because of the trouble it will likely cause.
As far as hygene is concerned, most diseases transmitted during sex are with civilians. Dirty people. Hookers are professionally clean. It’s part of the job.

Steve
Steve
6 months ago
Reply to  bloke in spain

most diseases transmitted during sex are with civilians

Well duh, prostitution is very much a minority sport. Most sex-havers aren’t exchanging cash along with bodily fluids, so …

Hookers are professionally clean. It’s part of the job.

Absolute bullshit. You’ll be telling me the toilet floor in Paddington station is “professionally clean” next. Good luck eating your dinner off it.

Western Bloke
Western Bloke
6 months ago
Reply to  Steve

“Well duh, prostitution is very much a minority sport. Most sex-havers aren’t exchanging cash along with bodily fluids, so …”

That’s not what he means. It’s that while civilians have a lot less sex, they take a lot more risks with it. The sort of girls who go clubbing, have a load of vodka, get horny are more likely to get fucked bareback than a prostitute will. Even with fewer encounters, they’re getting a lot more bodily fluids being exchanged.

bloke in spain
bloke in spain
6 months ago
Reply to  Western Bloke

You’ve got it. Most working girls go to extraordinary lengths to prevent infection. It’s not just condoms. Mouthwashes, biocide hand cleaners or alcohol. disinfectant douches of the working parts & impose them on the clients. They’re far more careful than civilians. They’ve a lot invested in it. One act of carelessness could lose their livelihood or life. Yes. The money incentive is important.
Why I find Steve’s ignorance so amusing. You’d probably be safer eating your dinner out of a hooker’s chuff than off of a restaurant plate. Or your own plates at home for that matter.
My bathrooms at home all have bidets with split taps. A straight water outlet & an insertable douche can be used as a showerhead. It’s not that they’re particularly necessary. It’s because I knew they existed & I think they’re a good idea. Does Steve even have bidets? They’re not for washing feet or keeping beer cold. I wouldn’t like to live in a place without them.

Norman
Norman
6 months ago
Reply to  bloke in spain

Japanese arse-cleaning toilets are pretty good for this. They also play little tunes, talk to you, and have warm seats.

Last edited 6 months ago by Norman
Paul, Somerset
Paul, Somerset
6 months ago

Does the spurting puss feature in the video?

Steve
Steve
6 months ago

the concept of non-monogamous relationships

I feel this is a less catchy way of saying “whore”.

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jgh
jgh
6 months ago

I’ve said it before, in my day we called it: shagging around.

Gamecock
Gamecock
6 months ago

Open marriage is different today than it was 60 years ago.

Not. Nothing has changed. Nothing is new. Except one special new person’s experience.

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