The commission found it “implausible” that Pilton was unaware that a man called Lachlan, who did not have a responsible service of alcohol certificate, did in fact serve alcohol.
This is a pub 200 km out in the middle of fick all. This is one of the reasons the booze licence has not been renewed.
As ever, the problem with Oz is not that half of them are descended from criminals, it’s that the other half are from prison guards.
Good grief!
‘Warning: This article contains offensive language that will be distressing to some readers’
Cunts. And these are the people effectively in charge. We don’t deserve to survive as a civilisation any more than the Ockers do.
Anyway.
If this were a Cormac McCarthy novel two or three blokes from the area would have pre-prepared a nice deep hole say 50km away with good cover from aerial view – the shade of a billabong tree would be nice – and would be anticipating the arrival of the next lot of busybodies with the anticipation of Bruce from Wolf Creek pulling up behind a broken down carload of teenage lovelies.
Deep in that trackless desert where no prophet ever walked and no martyr ever shed a drop of holy blood into the choking sea of shimmering sunseared dust, that dingo-haunted wasteland where spiders and sinners scurry under the serpentile stare of an old testament sun, unforgiving and unforgiven as a Roman spear thrust into the flesh of God made man, the Kombi sobbed its last death rattle and a worm of anxiety coiled around the remains of a vegemite sandwich in his stomach and his zombie thickened head throbbed in staccato as the strange woman held up her hand for a moment of pregnant silence that was an infinity of fear to the breakfast starved man.
Do you come from a land downunder, she said.
Oh it’s-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we’ll hear the wild dingoes call
But there’s-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear
Than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer
Now the publican’s anxious for the quota to come
And there’s a far away look on the face of the bum
The maid’s gone all cranky and the cook’s acting queer
Oh what a terrible place is a pub with no beer
Then the stockman rides up with his dry dusty throat
He breasts up to the bar and pulls a wad from his coat
But the smile on his face quickly turns to a sneer
As the barman says sadly the pub’s got no beer
Then the swaggie comes in smothered in dust and flies
He throws down his roll and rubs the sweat from his eyes
But when he is told, he says what’s this I hear
I’ve trudged fifty flamin’ miles to a pub with no beer
Now there’s a dog on the v’randa, for his master he waits
But the boss is inside drinking wine with his mates
He hurries for cover and he cringes in fear
It’s no place for a dog ’round a pub with no beer
And old Billy the blacksmith, the first time in his life
Why he’s gone home cold sober to his darling wife
He walks in the kitchen, she says you’re early Bill dear
But then he breaks down and tells her the pub’s got no beer
Oh it’s hard to believe that there’s customers still
But the money’s still tinkling in the old ancient till
The wine buffs are happy and I know they’re sincere
When they say they don’t care if the pub’s got no beer
So it’s-a lonesome away from your kindred and all
By the campfire at night we’ll hear the wild dingoes call
But there’s-a nothing so lonesome, morbid or drear-a
Thank you BiS!!
Couldn’t they just have enjoyed a rather nice glass of Palo Cortado?
Ozzys do some beaut poetry.
…the problem with Oz is not that half of them are descended from criminals, it’s that the other half are from prison guards.
Ah, Clive James. A confirmed lefty to be sure, but I do miss his dry wit.
Warning: This comment nearly contained such offensive language that the TTK Thought Police might have been alerted and closed down our host’s blog to protect national morality. Instead, the phrase “serving the Aboriginals through the hatch” reminded me of a joke a great Aussie, who I worked with 50 years ago, told me, which I can imagine Mr Pilton reenacting. I have to say, he chose to tell it at a Law Society do in the Dorchester and two female solicitors and the senior partner of the firm’s largest client walked off in disgust, so it may not be to everyone’s taste.
A Pom is lost in the outback and goes into a bar for some help. Outside the door he notices two piles of human waste, one enormous and one small. In the bar he orders a beer and starts to ask directions when the owner reaches under the bar and pulls out a shotgun. Through the door to the bar the Pom can dimly see the outline of a small brown figure squatting over the small pile of shit then the owner fires a barrel at the little brown bloke. The Pom says “I say! What did you do that for?” The owner says “I’ve told the bastards a hundred times, don’t use the Ladies Toilet!”
Perhaps I should have just used the offensive language…
The grea Slim Dusty, who made”The pub with no beer” famous, was honoured with a State Funeral, at St Andrews cathedral in Sydney 2003. Australia at its best!
I’ve seen the ‘the dog on the tuckerbox’ near Gundagai, another piece of genuine Australiana.
The greatest Olympic closing ceremony ever https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79PEsJEPG88&list=RD79PEsJEPG88&start_radio=1
Srsly, a “responsible service of alcohol certificate”?
Once they stopped laughing at the tossers they should’ve run them off.
As ever, the problem with Oz is not that half of them are descended from criminals, it’s that the other half are from prison guards.
The descendants of the prison guards who didn’t go to Oz are now Labour politicians.
Apparently in England we’re going to get the same lower drink drive levels as Scotland and as far as I can tell the only justification is because the usual suspects have carried out *research* and it had no effect on the income of pubs.
FFS, if it had shown a reduction in accidents then they might have had a case, but no, they justified even more restrictions on us because in Scotland they didn’t find any effects on pubs.
Those blokes in Interested’s Cormac McCarthy novel need to dig bigger holes so can send a few planes full of politicians across.
PS I’m sure Christopher Snowden will be across that *research* soon and we’ll learn that it fails to meet even their low standards.
I await evidence, or even assertion, that a lot of drivers actually involved in road accidents turn out have have blood alcohol levels below the current limit but above the proposed one. Otherwise it’s just manipulative nanny state bollocks. Your 15-minute city won’t have a pub.
The research isn’t the point. It’s just a figleaf. Mozzers don’t like pubs, and pubs are the hub of rural communities. They enable rural cultures and customs to endure. So shut the fuckers down. But you can’t directly, so bankrupt them instead.
He’s done it…
https://www.spiked-online.com/2026/01/07/labours-drink-drive-limit-will-call-time-on-the-pub-for-good/
Yeah, and nowadays the other other half are mozzers, with a sprinkling of chinks.
RSAs are a joke anyway. You do them online, costs about $50. In metro areas it’s holy writ of course, but I can see why a publican in the middle of nowhere (I’m going to go with 1000kms from fuck all, Alice Springs isn’t much to write home about) wouldn’t care. I’ve been over served many times in the past by properly accredited people who only cared that I was polite and unlikely to cause trouble. And trusted the other regulars to keep an eye on me. Which is what I’m sure happens there.
I suspect his real offence was not answering emails and serving Aborigines. This was just an easy and clear license violation to guarantee his suspension.