John Naughton talks of AI swarms and the like:
So they’ve recreated standard lefty journalism then.
But I think that train’s left the station. Fooled once, twice etc. We all know the public information sources are polluted. Thus a change in who produces them is unlikely to shift that belief.
The introduction of what some people are calling AI will indeed threaten some jobs. The first ones to go will be the simple souls wrting for lefty rags that can be replaced by LLMs by parroting rubbish at the click of a mouse…
I’ve asked AI to give me a parody of a Timmy blog. Here it is:
Title: For Fuck’s Sake, It’s Time to Legalise Professional Kitten-Stomping
Right. Listen up, you simpering, sentiment-soaked morons. I’ve just had my morning espresso, crafted by a beautiful, unregulated child labourer from a developing nation (God bless comparative advantage), and I am fucking livid. Why? Because I’ve just read another fucking government consultation paper on “Animal Sentience.” It’s a staggering 200-page monument to bureaucratic fuckwittery that completely ignores the one, the only, metric that matters: economic fucking value.
Let’s cut the shit. The kitten-stomping industry is being strangled by the limp, moist hands of the state. This isn’t about your pathetic, sobbing-aesthetic feelings, you Guardian-reading gobshites. This is about FREEDOM. The freedom to take a proprietary, market-driven boot to a fucking furball.
Every single one of you whinging cunts who just felt a pang of “ooh, that’s a bit nasty” is the problem. You haven’t considered the goddamn economics. Of course you haven’t. You’re too busy feeling fucking feelings and voting for people who want to tax my vintage champagne.
Here’s the fucking reality, served neat without your preferred mixer of milquetoast morality:
1. Supply and Fucking Demand: There is a MASSIVE latent demand for high-quality, artisanal kitten-stomping. You think those dark-web forums are just for Bitcoin? Open your fucking eyes. But because it’s illegal, the market is supplied by amateurs and cowboys. No standards! No innovation! It’s a fucking disgrace. Legalise it, and you’ll see Stomp-Angel investors and disruptive startups creating a seamless, app-based stomping experience. The “Uber for kitten obliteration.” The GDP boost would be so hard you’d feel it in your bones, you pathetic ninnies.
2. The Kitten Paradox, You Dense Motherfuckers: Currently, kittens are a valueless externality. They’re fucking everywhere, shitting in flowerbeds, being adorable for free. It’s socialism for cats. Legalise stomping, and poof, each mewling ball of fluff suddenly has a market price. Breeders will compete on quality of life, pre-stomp pampering, and tonal quality of the final meow. These would be the luckiest, most luxuriously treated kittens in history right up until the moment of their economically constructive and personally fulfilling demise. Your “sanctity of life” bullshit is literally keeping kittens in poverty. Think about that, you fucking monsters.
3. The Revenue is a Goddamn Bonanza: Think of the tax! We could abolish inheritance tax entirely with a simple 15% levy on premium stomps. Or fund a new aircraft carrier called the HMS Fuck Your Feelings. The sobbing, sandal-wearing classes will cry “But the poor kitties!” while their kids study in crumbling schools. Well, guess what? Those schools could be gleaming palaces funded by Kitten Consumption Duty. Your hypocrisy is fucking breathtaking.
This isn’t complicated. It’s simple, elegant, and beautiful in its ruthless, market-clearing logic. Your opposition isn’t just wrong; it’s a visceral, emotional spasm of the economically illiterate. It’s the reason this country is going to the dogs (which, for the record, are a vastly more efficient source of protein than cows if we’d just deregulate the farms, you fucking hypocrites).
The path is clear: total, unshackled, glorious deregulation. Get the state’s fucking hands off my stomping boot.
Anything else is weak, socialist, and frankly, a bit fucking gay.
Sincerely,
Tim F. Worstall.
P.S. If this offends you, you are a cancer on prosperity and should probably go and live in Venezuela, you wankers.
That’s about 150% too long for a typical Timmy. If I haveta scroll, it’s a no.
Tedious, unfunny and a grotesque caricature. If it had actually been funny you’d be forgiven. We neoliberals can take humour.
“Tedious, unfunny and a grotesque caricature.”
Just like Timmy.
This is a nice line:
Might have to use that.
That’s much more a parody of the comments thread than of Tim’s writing. Seems your AI isn’t very intelligent.
The only thing that’s amusing about the above is that you obviously spent a lot of time writing it yourself.
“We all know the public information sources are polluted.”
Is there a word for the case when the pollution outweighs the sea it pollutes?
Maybe in German?
Müllmeer ?
Is that long enough to be a genuine German word?
Just like in english, the really “nasty” words in german are really, really short… 😉
“capable of engineering a synthetic consensus”
The baizou, at his core, believes in the magic power of words. As if the world runs on “consensus”, like a debate club.
Don’t disregard pluralistic ignorance.
BBC repeats dumb shit over an over. A lie repeated over and over does NOT get people to believe it. It gets people to believe EVERYONE else believes it, so they don’t speak up. It only appears that people believe. Which suits the totalitarians just as well.