When the Grammy award winning songwriter, Olivia Nervo, agreed to start a family with her partner she believed she was in “a monogamous, committed relationship leading to a future”, and had never heard of reproductive coercion.
Her world came crashing down when she was six months pregnant and she found out that her partner was in a relationship with another woman who was also pregnant, and with whom he already had a child.
Clearly not gentlemanly behaviour (tho’ given some past definitions of gentleman, perhaps very much so).
She said: “If you have sex with someone and you don’t disclose the fact that you have an STD (sexually transmitted disease), that’s assault [if you are infected they can be charged with grievous bodily harm] and that’s criminally chargeable. And if you remove a condom covertly that’s considered rape. But if you deceive someone into having a child, or just even having sex, you just fall between the cracks.
“I can’t get over it, I don’t think I’ll ever get over it. And I just feel like reproductive coercion needs to be considered properly within family courts, at the very least. I would love it to be a standalone offence, but I understand that’s a big wish.”
A 2022 poll of 1,000 women aged 18 to 44 found 50% believed they had experienced reproductive coercion of some form, including pressure around pregnancy, abortion, sex and contraception.
Reproductive coercion is recognised in England and Wales as a form of coercive control under the Serious Crime Act.
Now, estimates here vary. Wildly. But that one about 10% of kids aren’t of the bloke who thinks they’re his. That, clearly, falls under a wide definition of this reproductive coercion. So when do the prosecutions start? For it ain’t, by a long shot, only men who lie about such things, is it?
“For it ain’t, by a long shot, only men who lie about such things, is it?”
Ooh, please let them get a law passed I want to see their faces when it doesn’t have the desired effect!
When the Grammy award winning songwriter, Olivia Nervo, agreed to start a family with her partner she believed she was in “a monogamous, committed relationship leading to a future”….
But not so much that she married him.
She didn’t do her research if she only found out after her child was born that her boyfriend had a wife. If, as she said in 2021, her daughter (born 2019) had never seen her father, it sounds less like he coerced her into having a child than she chose to do so. She and her twin sister both conceived around the same time and she was 36, so there may have been other motivations.
Being a callous bastard I thought “falling between the cracks” was the sort of safe, (in the sense of being non-reproductive) sex practiced by Mandelson and Lord Alli and their very good friends…
“pressure around pregnancy, abortion, sex and contraception.”
This happens to just about every married man.
Women (or some women, maybe), think men are like cats and once he’s agreed to be spayed, he won’t be as sexually demanding, like castrated tom cats, just sit around in the sun getting fatter. They often seem surprised when neutered hubby takes the opposite view that now he can’t knock her up they can have sex all the time.
Both the men and the women are delusional.
I’d love to hear a lawyer talk about how binding “believing” you are in a monogamous relationship is. “I really want to have a baby with you” doesn’t say that.
Chesterton’s Fence and all that, this is why we had weddings. So you could say who you were banging, and that you weren’t banging anyone else, and you said it in front of the village and family as witnesses. There’s also a powerful effect with that, which is that you made promises in front of your families. They know it will look and feel shitty if they leave without a good reason. It keeps people together in temporary bad times, I think.
If you get into what the puritans were like, they treated marriage as a contract. You could get taken to court for breaking your marriage vows. Not just adultery, but that “love and cherish” part. There was a case of a woman taking her husband to court for not shagging her enough.
Western Bloke, I love that comment. I took our wedding vows very seriously and although they were mostly very traditional, Mrs Ltw and I had a discussion about it. “Honour and obey” got dropped at my insistence, because good luck with that anyway, but I did make sure “in sickness and in health” stayed in 🙂
I did some stupid things when I was younger, a long younger than thirty six I might add. Fortunately my idiocy didn’t have such long term consequences, I did at least know how to avoid getting girls pregnant. I did however own my mistakes and never considered that laws should be passed to protect me from my own stupidity.
Clearly this was caddish behaviour but it wasn’t coercion.
In deciding to get pregnant by this cad, she made a very poor and imprudent choice – for which she is responsible. Her response to her own folly is the classic feminist one of blaming the man and calling for legislation. Feminism is a social cancer that encourages women to look to the state for support and so embeds socialist principles in legislation.
There’s a large chunk of self-identifying feminists who are really just stupid middle class children
https://www.thetimes.com/comment/columnists/article/young-middle-class-women-angry-n0dk8h7h5
“But it’s striking that their malaise is a curiously middle-class disease. Per the Merlin polling, 32 per cent of C2DE (loosely, manual working-class or unemployed) women under 25 have a positive view of capitalism. Only 17 per cent of ABC1 (loosely, middle-class and professional) women do. The ABC1s are also more likely to say that the economy works against people like them.”
Let me suggest a reason for this: C2DE women are mostly raised sensible. They leave school at 18, get a job hairdressing, on a call centre. They live in fairly cheap places like Swindon or Wrexham where housing is quite affordable.
“What we are looking at here, then, is not a reflection of absolute economic devastation, but rather a crisis of expectations. We are seeing the collapse of the British middle-class lifestyle. Young women who have a degree and a professional job quite reasonably expect to have a certain type of life. This is a life that, in many cases, they will have seen their parents live: a stable job, a stable relationship, a stable home. You do not need me to rehearse the stats which demonstrate that these things are increasingly hard to come by.”
The thing is that their parents probably left school at 16 or 18 and worked. They did professional jobs, but they were useful, good earning jobs.
Now this is written by Charlotte Ivers. 31, Restaurant critic at The Times. Studied history at Cambridge. No doubt she thinks of herself as deserving a wonderful life for a degree and a professional job.
Net value of what she does is close to zero. I presume restaurant reviews pays fuck all. Deduct student loan and London rent and there won’t be much left. Someone managing a cafe in Lacock is providing tourists with things they need, didn’t bother with a degree and lives in Melksham.
It’s why there’s so much fucking whining about this from lady journalists. It’s a series of bad, self-indulgent decisions.
It’s ultimately me, me, me and when you do that, you are poor. Cafe manager in Lacock might prefer to be doing some painting, but people pay for her to make cappucinos all day.
“But that one about 10% of kids aren’t of the bloke who thinks they’re his.”
So you keep saying and your readers keep denying. I suspect they are right.
Estimates from multiple studies put the UK rate between 1% and 1.6%, though a study from Liverpool John Moores University estimated the rate at roughly 4%.
Yes, 10% seems high.
I suspect it has about as much credibility as the one that said 10% of the population was gay.
Which as it turned out was from studying prisoners and sailors.
There’s also different populations, with likely different rates involved.
Be entertaining if all kids were tested to see if they actually were the blokes’.
But you’ll probably point out that sheer bureaucratic incompetence would mean that at least 10% of the tests would be buggered up anyway!!
Grammy award winning
This adds what to the story? Appeal to pity works better with Grammy award winners?
A lot of women, raised and socialised in state-run institutions well into their 20’s, honestly believe the criminal justice system should be there to punish their ex boyfriends for making them feel bad.
Feminist version of Sharia – total freedom from consequences for women, including when they kill an unborn baby at 8 1/2 months or decide to murder their husband in his bed for ‘abuse’, but maximum consequences for men including laws to imprison them for “misogyny” on the Internet.
Young women see the state as a generous and indulgent daddy…
Love is not love
That alters where it alteration finds.
Sonnet 116
Love will tear us apart
Again.
You quoting Captain and Tennille now?
Cold silence has a tendency
to atrophy any sense of compassion
“I will now loudly complain about my poor life choices, caused by my own stupidity..”
Boo. ff’n. Hoo.