For years, I have been caught in a tiresome, expensive cycle: when I’m bored (or sad, or insecure) I scroll through my phone, looking for stuff to buy. In those moments, it feels like the right purchase will relieve me of ennui or unpleasantness. These shoes will make my life more glamorous! This face wash will make me feel forever beautiful!
Sometimes this rush lasts up to two days after I receive my item. But the excitement fades – sometimes as soon as I click “confirm purchase” – and I inevitably think: “Why did I do that?”
So how does one start shopping less? We asked experts and people who have pared down their own spending.
One of those essentials to snag a spot in The Guardian – a neurosis or two.
Instead of buying shoes, go and put a fiver on a nag in the 3.30 at Kempton Park.
Or booze works. Speaking for a friend, of course, $A3.80 a bottle for pretty decent (quaff able) wine alleviates anxiety nicely.
I switched from gambling to high-risk trading. You can buy shares on Freetrade for zero commission, spend a few quid. Buy 2 days before results. Same kick if you win, but you generally make more money.
My theory about the decline of Vegas is that Covid locked people away and they substituted going out to a casino with options trading on Robinhood. And a new gambling pattern was established.
That stops automatically when you run out of wardrobe space, love….
Which sometimes is the entire house….. and a storage unit… and…
It stops when you run out of money, shirley?
Yes, jgh. The G should charge neurotics like this real money for publishing their nonsense. Then they would spend less on fripperies.
Not for my wife!
The ability to retain both the idea that we live in a terrible capitalist hellscape and also that we need experts to tell us how to stop spending may not be peak Guardian but it’s not far off.
Credit card, meet scissors.
Amazon app, meet the delete button.
That consultation will be £5000 please.
Just stop it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAhA7KfbJgg
But the excitement fades – sometimes as soon as I click “confirm purchase”…
If only there was a ‘Cancel Order’ option.
I blame the Patriarchy. And Capitalism, obvs.
I remember what Alvin Hall used to say on that BBC program he hosted: Wait two days. if you no longer want it, then you never needed it.
She’s a lifestyle and wellness writer for Guardian US. And she’s revealing a compulsive behaviour (NOT wellness) leading to a lifestyle of over-consumption. My question is why should we be getting lifestyle and wellness advice from such a person who clearly doesn’t have a handle on either subject.
Because it’s the Guardian?
Because it’s nice to know that however screwed-up we are, the staff of the Guardian are worse.
The majority of the so-called proponents of lifestyle and wellness are generally not well in the head
Number one tip to start paring down your spending: cancel your Guardian subscription.
Can we have a state that spends less, too?
Don’t be absurd, Ted.
I can understand addictions to things like tobacco, alcohol and other kinds of drugs, your body learns to crave the substance in question and you feel terrible if you don’t have it. Being a fairly pragmatic and practical person, I’ve always had the ability for identifying problems, working out solutions and then doing what is required and seeing it through. I think it is about self discipline really. This means that I have a problem understanding the problem here.
“So how does one start shopping less?”
You start shopping less. That’s it.
Addiction is not about the thing, it’s about the person. Some people have a natural level of depression. It’s not about their childhood, or traumatic life experiences. It’s in their biology.
To compensate for that, they seek pleasure. Where most people have some fun with booze, drugs, gambling as a bonus thing, these people need it all the time.
Nicotine is a mild anti-depressant. Food is pleasurable. Sex is pleasurable. Heroin is pleasurable. For women, shopping is pleasurable. If you want to compensate for depression,
It’s what everyone gets wrong. Why do some people go to the races, spend £20 on a fun day and not return for 6 months, but others are losing their house to Ladbrokes? It’s the same activity. If gambling was in itself addictive, everyone would have the same relationship to it. People think drugs means addiction but that isn’t actually the norm. There are lots of people who do a little gak without turning into Robert Downey Jr or Charlie Parker.
It’s why I believe the source of the mental health crisis is anti-tobacco. Fags were a pretty good crutch. Remove that and people are fucked unless they discover SSRIs. But it’s not like your mate offers you a tablet of Sertraline like someone would offer you a Marlboro.
You have a point there, about the tabs.
Haven’t noticed a mental health crisis here in Oz, now that the government is trying to price tobacco out of the market.
But of course the smokers are simply buying cheaper tobacco illegally.
I think if you grew up and money was tight you don’t do this. You learn the value of it.
Definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Do you have to flush after you relieve ennui?
Thank you for not marrying.
I for one like women’s compulsive buying over their compulsive eating. As long as I’m not paying for it.
Quick inet search says 5% of women are compulsive shoppers. I thought it would be way higher.
“I thought it would be way higher.” – yes, me too.
This is nesting-like behaviour.
Women get a dopamine hit from shopping because it’s positive behaviour in getting and raising a family. Buy a short skirt to attract a man, your brain rewards you. High heels? same. Then after some shags and you move in, dopamine from buying curtains, air fryers, bed linen. Egg meets sperm, and now you’re getting cots and baby clothes and there’s the same pleasure.
But if you’re not getting past each stage with it, it’s just empty and miserable. Men that don’t call back etc.
Men don’t really get the same hit, and that’s because the successful genes were about doing and making the money. It’s why men enjoy tinkering with cars and DIY. But spend about 5 minutes on clothes shopping. Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg just owned lots of copies of the same clothes. They don’t consciously think “women don’t care what I wear, it’s what I do that matters”. That’s just what worked for their ancestors.
I think they do care what they wear. They establish a look that portrays them as they wish, and then stick with it and turn their attention to other things.
That’s excepting the dandies and popinjays of course. We’re talking about blokes who do stuff.
That’s a very good point. We do establish a look for certain things, but once we’ve got that and got the retailers or brands that work, we don’t waste time on it. I have a “work” look which is Charles Tyrwhitt shirt, M&S trousers, Skechers shoes. I go to those shops and only go elsewhere if they don’t have what I need. I will just buy 4 pairs of the same pair of trousers. Job done.
Even my “fun” stuff is lazy. I go to the Tintin shop and see what they have. I like artwork of Belgian boys hanging out with sailors 😉
It’s a pain when I go shopping with my wife because she shops like a woman. “they’re nice, but what about these”. Nope, these are good enough.
I spent more time on comparing laptop power banks this week as I did clothes shopping this year (they’re getting to be quite reasonably priced now).
Me? Mr. Uniqlo, with a smattering of Muji. Ancient cord jackets. Oh, and Craghoppers Kiwis, and a couple of elderly Paramo trail shirts. Clarks wide-fit shoes when discounted.
What do you reckon to these?
Personally, I care about whether things fit! Whatever they look like they are no bloody use if they fall off or I can’t get them on. My wife just bought me a pair of shorts that look quite nice and have (in theory, possibly in practice) the right size waist but I cannot get them over my thighs.
There are some things that I won’t wear even if they fit (e.g. pink corduroys) but whether it fits is the first criterion.
Women want security, reliability. Men dress conservatively.
Men want to hose down the town. Women wear many different things, to look like fresh meat.
And the men who don’t dress conservatively are the ones who aren’t interested in women.