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Not colloquial English speakers

Birds masturbate, and that’s perfectly normal

Sure, it’s true either way, but that headline might have been written a little differently in a colloquial English speaking country….

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dearieme
dearieme
28 days ago

Dicky-birds masturbate?

Theophrastus
Theophrastus
27 days ago
Reply to  dearieme

Well, they need to keep their peckers up! And then there are the hen parties…

Interested
Interested
28 days ago

For the love of God get rid of this fucking SAY NO TO DIGITAL ID pop up.

Gamecock
Gamecock
28 days ago
Reply to  Interested

Tim has convinced me to say, “Yes.”

andyf
andyf
27 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

I was always a “yes”. Perhaps it’s aimed at me.

Frank
Frank
27 days ago
Reply to  Interested

It is annoying and probably counterproductive. Not that Timmy cares.

JuliaM
28 days ago

Our new study could change how other scientists view masturbation in birds …

On a specialist pay-per-view channel, presumably.

Addolff
Addolff
28 days ago
Reply to  JuliaM

There’s all sorts of depravity out there if you look for it Julia (or so i’m led to believe).

And is this another case of “the settled science” not being so settled then?

Ted S., Catskill Mtns, NY, USA
Reply to  Addolff

There’s all sorts of depravity out there if you look for it

Just look in the mirror. :-p

johnthebridge
johnthebridge
28 days ago
Reply to  JuliaM

I’ve long thought that many scientists are wankers, especially those from Imperial College.

Addolff
Addolff
28 days ago
Reply to  johnthebridge

They were the ‘scientists’ behind the 2700 extra folks dead due to the heatwave nonsense too. Let’s see – Reality or Computer modelling?
For some reason, the computer modelling seems to get all the attention whereas reality is ignored…..

johnthebridge
johnthebridge
27 days ago
Reply to  Addolff

Not sure the Imperial mob would actually know what “reality” is…

andyf
andyf
27 days ago
Reply to  JuliaM

No, it’s free if you know where to look, though you do need to prove you are over 18. Which is a good use for a properly implemented digital id and can be done anonymously.

Charles
Charles
26 days ago
Reply to  andyf

Can you point me to a specification of a scheme which allows people to prove their age anonymously? Note that my definition is anonymous may not match yours. I require anonymity to be preserved over the long term. It’s much easier to prove that some individual accessing one website on one occasion is over an age threshold, but as long as websites can tell that it is the same individual on different occasions the anonymity can leak away.

Mr Womby
Mr Womby
28 days ago

I wonder what kind of porn birds watch. Presumably their version of cuck scenarios is authentic cuckoo videos.

Last edited 28 days ago by Mr Womby
Ottokring
Ottokring
28 days ago
Reply to  Mr Womby

Big Black Crows and doves

Mr Womby
Mr Womby
28 days ago
Reply to  Ottokring

Two sparrows, one feeder?

Gamecock
Gamecock
28 days ago

Do other birds like to watch?

PJF
PJF
28 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

Birds of a feather wank together.

philip
philip
28 days ago

99% of what animals do is perfectly normal behaviour.
Mind you, watching the pigeons fuck makes me wonder how much fun they have masturbating.
Fun fact. Swifts can do it mid flight.

Bloke in Wales
Bloke in Wales
28 days ago
Reply to  philip

So can humans: the Mile High Club

bloke in spain
bloke in spain
28 days ago
Reply to  Bloke in Wales

Any one here a member?

Norman
Norman
28 days ago
Reply to  bloke in spain

Those were the days.

Ted S., Catskill Mtns, NY, USA
Reply to  Norman

We thought they’d never end.

Grikath
Grikath
27 days ago
Reply to  bloke in spain

Twice renewed. One an actual stewardess on the flight.
Although they make it extremely difficult nowadays….

And to be fair…. you can’t take too long… so … you might… she…. has to be Ready and Willing…. and …Quick and Eager….
Her Fun is… something a Rogue also cares about…

I much preferred the old slow ferries from the mainland to the UK…
You could do the Wooing, drinkies, and blag a cabin…

Last edited 27 days ago by Grikath
Mr Womby
Mr Womby
27 days ago
Reply to  Grikath

I must live in a parallel universe where all women are sapphic.

Bloke in South Dorset
Bloke in South Dorset
28 days ago

Indian English is always a few decades behind, so perhaps they’ve just caught up with the 1980s golden age of tabloid headlines?

Bloke in North Dorset
Bloke in North Dorset
27 days ago

OT

We discussed disabilities and the disabled recently. This is a fantastic, and moving, piece by Michael Simmons, the Spectator’s economics editor.

https://spectator.com/article/shut-up-about-your-disability/

Norman
Norman
27 days ago

An excellent article. Four quotes sum it up well

We live in a society in which disabled people must be described as merely ‘differently abled’, while apparently requiring more state support than ever before.

Once a disability label has been gained, it removes the expectation that the unemployed should seek work and turns what would otherwise be pretty miserly benefits into extremely generous ones.

…our [previous] Presbyterian approach to disability – that it is something to overcome and disguise rather than celebrate and display

Labels matter. I was very fortunate to encounter professionals who expected me to recover, work and live rather than organise my life around incapacity. Such people are now scarce.

Despite his gammy leg Simmons has done very well for himself, and bloody good for him.

Gamecock
Gamecock
27 days ago

Researchers studied 120 bird species across major groups

Why?

Gamecock
Gamecock
27 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

Looking for tits.

Grikath
Grikath
27 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

insert obligatory Booby picture here…. 😛

Last edited 27 days ago by Grikath
Matt
Matt
27 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

or maybe a good shag.

Grikath
Grikath
27 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

Why Because as biologists you occasionally have to re-check Knowns…
Biology… it tends to throw curveballs, and Old Explanations, especially regarding sexual behaviour, is quite often ….Coloured…. by the Times research was done in…

It was already known birds masturbate. It has now been confirmed they still do… Trebles All Around…

As to *why*….

At least in some species where females can experience Surprise ButtSexx.. It’s a way to Flush the System from Unwanted Wrigglers.
Some *need* the stimulus to actually produce viable eggs.
Some…. It’s the remnants of the dinosaurs… they took alternative routes on the same principle… They do thing s Differently for Many Reasons, which evidently work for them….

For all males… same as us… Flush the System… Keep Things Fresh…

Last edited 27 days ago by Grikath
bloke in spain
bloke in spain
27 days ago
Reply to  Grikath

Since birds are now generally accepted to dinosaurs, my mind did stray to brontosauruses & was somewhat boggled. Must have been a mighty, earth shaking endeavor.

Grikath
Grikath
27 days ago
Reply to  bloke in spain

Bronto’s are in the *other* branch…. hence nowadays they’re talking about “avian” and “non-avian” dinosaurs.

The current birds are derived from the two-legged, distinctly carnivorous hunters who could GTFO when the Big Rock hit.
The types that stayed on 4 legs and turned the Vegan route didn’t survive.

Bloke in South Dorset
Bloke in South Dorset
27 days ago
Reply to  bloke in spain

Ah, that explains why T-Rex were so aggressive; their arms were too short to reach.

Norman
Norman
27 days ago

*Applause

johnthebridge
johnthebridge
27 days ago

S’funny that. I always thought Marc Bolan looked perfectly normal.

johnthebridge
johnthebridge
27 days ago
Reply to  Gamecock

Because after being discharged from “yooni”, these hopeless idiots have to justify their very existence in some obscure little “scientific” job by pretending to research some utterly pointless subject, like birds wanking. And then try and make it sound important, when most of society couldn’t give a fuck about their self-important precious little project.

Gamecock
Gamecock
27 days ago

Do they go blind?

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