Who knew Brenda could be so arch?

English English is it’s own little language. It’s something of a surprise still to find those writing the English newspapers not quite getting it:

In a rebuff to critics of her granddaughter-in-law, the Queen added that she was “particularly proud of how Meghan has so quickly become one of the family”.

I take that as Brenda being very arch indeed. That is, this is not a compliment.

An interesting question

Or at least one that’s interesting to me.

Now, obviously enough, a proper valuation of that lifestyle they’ve currently got is difficult but this is the correct question that should have been asked before they set off down this path. What’s the amount of cash they’ve got to pile up before their lifestyle beats what they’ve already got? Then, what’s the chance that they’re going to reach that figure?

Frankly, from this accounting point of view it’s difficult to work out why they’re bothering.

Why are they bothering? They’re taking on substantial risk and yet it’s difficult to see them getting any further than they already are.

It is fun, isn’t it

While many people sympathised with them, particularly the young and those more in tune with Meghan’s values relating to her racial identity and feminist views, others disapproved.

A nice example of cakeism.

A woman who becomes a duchess purely on the basis of who she beds and makes her womb available to decides to insist she’s a feminist. That raising (descent if you prefer) from middling actress to global superstar is purely and totally patriarchal. And yet she’s the strong independent one?

The thing is though, I want it to be true

BBC staff are said to be in “uproar” after the corporation’s canteen instigated a “six chip” rule for cooked meals.

Servers in the kitchens at Broadcasting House caused widespread bafflement after they were seen individually counting out chips as part of a new quota for employees.

Rebellion quickly started brewing among the BBC’s staff over the policy, some of whom took to social media to express their dismay.

Sharing a picture of his pitiful serving on Twitter, Arif Ansari, head of news at the BBC Asian Network, wrote: “New rules in the BBC canteen limit the number of chips to six.

The bosses deny it all. But I want it to be true. For I’d like to make sure that whatever nonsense it is that people think they’d like to impose upon us – booze limits, potato consumption, reductions in meat eating, no sugar in soda pop, all of them – get imposed good and hard on the BBC first.

Y’all are going to have to explain the racism here

The silence surrounding the Duchess of Sussex’s treatment by the press has become a roar. More than 70 female MPs signed a letter this week in “solidarity” with Meghan after she spoke about her treatment by sections of the media. The letter outlined attempts “to cast aspersions” on her character. It also attempted to address the nature of these attacks: “We are calling out what can only be described as outdated, colonial undertones to some of these stories,” it read.

However, this treatment can be described as only one thing: racist. Not saying so explicitly is part of a growing trend – the word “racist” is now dodged with more fervour than racial slurs themselves.

Those who marry into the royal family have long been subjected to all sorts of abuse. As both Wallis Simpson and Queen Caroline could tell us if they were still around.

Not being nasty to Meghan would be racist, no?

Meghan seems particularly dim

Spectacularly dim even:

The Duchess of Sussex has revealed she was warned before her marriage to Prince Harry that the British tabloids would “destroy” her life, as she spoke of struggling to cope with the reality of being part of the royal family.

In an interview for the ITV documentary Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, she said the last year had been “hard” and that she had had “no idea” of what she would face.

You’ve just told us you were warned…..

This lad’s going to get into Disney for free.

Jermaine Bell was supposed to spend his seventh birthday at Disney World. He’d saved up money to take his family on a trip to Animal Kingdom in Florida.

Instead, he emptied his piggy bank to buy hundreds of hot dogs and serve them for free to Hurricane Dorian evacuees passing through their South Carolina town.
The 6-year-old opened a hot dog stand along the side of a busy road in Allendale and offered those escaping the coast free franks, water, chips and prayers.

It’s impossible to imagine this story ending with anything other than a freebie trip, isn’t it?

After all, to be usefully capitalist about it, how many acres of newsprint will Disney buy with a couple of compo tickets?

Well, yes, but….

Famous friends rally to support Duke and Duchess of Sussex: ‘All they’re trying to do is make the world better’

Many have made that claim, even had that aim, and not quite managed it…..Uncle Joe, Adolf, even the people who imposed first generation biofuels upon us….

Oooh, this is fun

Re Ghislaine:

In adulthood she had no power without Epstein, who held all the purse strings. He had been embroiled financially with her father and it may be that Epstein bought her the fancy $5m townhouse in New York with Robert Maxwell’s own money, squirrelled away in anticipation of his looming bankruptcy.

If true – far fetched, obviously, so emphasis on the if there – then that means all her money belongs to that bankruptcy trustee.

Nick Cage’s 26 mile pilgrimage to the Grail

Nicolas Cage went on a quest to find the Holy Grail which took him to Glastonbury, the actor has revealed, where he drank from a stream that he said tasted like the blood of Christ.

He went on a “grail quest”, inspired by religion and mythology, in which “one thing lead to another”, he said, and ended up there.

Given that he lived just outside Bath that would be a 26 mile quest then.

It’s not actually as mad as it sounds either:

“One thing would lead to another,” the actor told the New York Times, “It’s like when you build a library.

“You read a book, and in it there’s a reference to another book, and then you buy that book, and then you attach the references. For me it was all about where was the grail? Was it here? Was it there? Is it at Glastonbury?”

He added: “If you go to Glastonbury and go to the Chalice Well, there’s a spring that does taste like blood.”

“I guess it’s really because there’s a lot of iron in the water.”

Rather than saddling up the coconut halves it’s rather more a literary quest with a bit of wandering around Somerset…..

A tentative solution

Theatre staff have called for abusive members of the audience to be thrown out of venues in response to growing levels of aggressive behaviour.

Front of house staff in some of the country’s most famous theatres are reporting an increasing amount of unacceptable behaviour by audiences, ranging from verbal abuse to outright physical confrontation.

Why not put on better plays?

You just wait honey, you just wait

Damn, luvvies can be just so annoying. So, there’s a Guardian headline:

Patricia Arquette: ‘I don’t want to play the ingenue for ever’

To which the correct response is don’t worry honey, you won’t.

ingénue
/ˈãʒən(j)uː/
noun
an innocent or unsophisticated young woman, especially in a play or film.

Just wait a few years and you really won’t.

So, all nicely lined up to have a snarl:

“It’s really liberating,” she says. “I feel like my whole career, I’ve had to operate within boundaries of what’s a likable woman? What’s attractive to society? There were a lot of people before I did Escape at Dannemora who said: ‘Oh my God, don’t gain weight for that, don’t let them make you look like that or you won’t be able to get jobs.’ I was like: ‘I’m an actor, just let me act!’… I don’t feel that we put that on males and I don’t want to carry it around any more.

“I don’t want to be the ingenue for ever – you can’t,” she continues. “We see people my age still trying to be ingenues, and at a certain point, you look… otherworldly. How are you going to play a 50-year-old woman in the real world?” Arquette isn’t judgmental about plastic surgery (“It’s your face; you get to look like whatever you want to look like”). She just feels that it affects on-screen credibility. “If some dude who looks like he works out four hours a day plays some regular dad, I have a hard time believing that too. You’ve got to look realistic for a part like that.”

Bugger, isn’t that annoying? An actor who is actually an intellectual adult?

Reading the sidebar of shame

We should, occasionally at least, educate ourselves on the preoccupations of others in our shared society:

Shirley Ballas, 58, reveals she’s ‘happier than ever’ with new beau Daniel Taylor, 44, as she admits he had no idea who she was when they first met during panto

So, err, who is she then? She looks both a bit young and a bit white to have done those James Bond themes doesn’t she?