This ain’t sophistication either

But there’s something to it:

Well they pulled into the parking lot
They saw a flashing sign that said,
Wet t-shirt contest every Saturday night
Well Tina looked at Dixie, said one of us can win that prize
Well Tina didn’t win ’cause she danced to Twisted Sister
But when Dixie told the DJ gimme three steps mister
All the gentlemen in the audience began to rise


Mogwai: ‘I’m surprised anyone listens to Eric Clapton. He’s a complete joker’

We’re still waiting for the “Mogwai is God” graffiti, aren’t we?

The thing about Clapton being that he is a rather good guitarist. You know, musician and all that.

Now, it may well be true that his views on vaccines are not all that relevant to anything at all. You know, Feynman on scientists outside their own reservation of knowledge and all that. But then that also applies to Mogwai and their views on Clapton’s views about vaccines – why in buggery is this shit important?


Neither have Charlie Watts – Kenny Jones and Jimmy Miller instead……

On the subject of music

Who gets this song right?

(Both live versions for proper comparison).

BTW, I read somewhere just recently same guitarist (proper, name one) insisting that there were only two real Guitar Gods, Jimmy H and JJ Cale. Which might be taking it a little too far……

Jimmy Cliff has a new album out

OK, The G has something on that.

And here’s the man live. There’s the occasional not quite right here. But it is marvellous.

Real talent there, that’s not some mere popster in the right place at the right time. And yes, Jimmy Cliff wrote it too. Along with the variant here, that extra verse (with, I think, that stray into a major key but I’m not enough of a musician to be able to say) that just makes it.

There would be a certain comfort, when that last gurgle is imminent, as the sheets are being clutched in terror at the passing, to know that one had produced just the one little piece, even just the 3 minutes, to match that song.

Fun fact!

Iggy Pop played with a pair of brothers in The Stooges – and at least at one point they were on drums and bass.

The Iggy album we’ve all heard bits of (the one with Bowie and containing The Passenger and Lust for Life) had a pair of brothers on drums and bass.

Different pair mind. It rather blew my mind to find out that the second pair were actually the sons of Soupy Sales….


Neil Innes of the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band also sued when his How Sweet to Be an Idiot was appropriated by Oasis for Whatever.

What fun. For of course Innes was a plagiarist satirist par excellence.

The story of Innes and the Rutles being rather fun. He wrote the songs without relistening to the albums. Sorta just remembered what, well, what were they sorta like at this stage? At that?

And he played the stuff for Lennon. Who said about Get Up And Go – “That’s a bit close”. Not angrily, rather pointing out that if there were going to be lawsuits from the rights holders then that would be the one they went for. So, it didn’t appear on the album.

My amusement about it being that it’s a markedly better guitar solo on this version of it. In fact, the rhythm guitar is better too but part of that will be that this is a studio recording rather than live as was the original.

That British song

Rather than the one the government has composed – to be polite about that dreck – I propose this:

Dealers keep dealin’, thieves keep thievin’
Whores keep whorin’, junkies keep scorin’
Trade is on the meat rack, strip joints full of hunchbacks
Bitches keep a bitchin’, clap just keeps itchin’
Ain’t no use in prayin’
That’s the way it’s stayin’, baby
Johnny ain’t so crazy
He’s always got a line for the ladies
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Get your rocks off, get your rocks off, honey
Shake it now, now, get’em off downtown
Get your rocks off, get you rocks off, honey
Shake it now now, get’em off downtown
Creeps a keep crawlin’, drunks a keep fallin’
Teasers keep a teasein’, holy joes are preachin’
Cops just keep bustin’, hustlers keep a hustlin’
Death just keeps knockin’, souls are up for auction
Ain’t no use in prayin’
That’s the way it’s stayin’, baby

Seems reasonably descriptive of the country presently.

Of course we could just use it as taunt for the left. The Tories are in power:

Ain’t no use in prayin’
That’s the way it’s stayin’, baby

Of course, now we need to find some actual Tories to exercise power but…….

What fun

No, really, what glorious fun.

Sure, a bit strange, the whole point of electric instruments and amplification being that you don’t need an orchestra etc. And yet, most fun.

OK, it might not be the preference over the headphones but all the same. There’re 1,000 shit eating grins out there and how many human activities manage that?

(Original tip Craig Newmark. No, the real one, not the adslinger).

The disgusting racism of our modern society

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding cellist has passport cancelled by Home Office
Sheku Kanneh-Mason is unable to travel after he applied for second passport to help with visa applications when performing abroad

Typical, eh?

A Home Office spokesman said: “We are in contact with Mr Kanneh-Mason to resolve this situation and apologise for any inconvenience caused. A replacement passport will be issued as soon as possible.”


This is despite his sister Isata Kanneh-Mason, an award-winning pianist, submitting the same paperwork 15 minutes apart and receiving both the original and second passport within a week.

So, just a fuck up in the bureaucracy.

And as to the disgusting racism of modern British society:

Sheku Kanneh-Mason MBE (born 4 April 1999) is a British cellist who won the 2016 BBC Young Musician award

Oh, right.

Kanneh-Mason grew up in Nottingham, England. He was born to Stuart Mason, a luxury hotel business manager from Antigua, and Dr. Kadiatu Kanneh, a former lecturer at the University of Birmingham, from Sierra Leone.

Child of immigrants, shows talent, is educated and lauded for that talent.

At the age of nine, he passed the Grade 8 cello examination with the highest marks in the UK,[7][8] and won the Marguerite Swan Memorial Prize.[9] Also aged nine he won an ABRSM junior scholarship to join the Junior Academy of the Royal Academy of Music, where he was tutored by Ben Davies.[1][10][11] Kanneh-Mason received his non-specialist education as a pupil at the Trinity School, Nottingham,[11] where he studied for A levels in Music, Maths and Physics.

Aren’t we just the most racist, exclusionary, society ever?

Musical ability

Mr. Rebennack was known as one of the great boogie piano players. As you can see here he had great, great, economy in movement.


Rebennack’s career as a guitarist was stunted around 1960,[13] when the ring finger on his left (guitar fretting) hand was injured by a gunshot during an incident at a Jacksonville, Florida gig.[14][15] After the injury, Rebennack concentrated on bass guitar before making piano his main instrument, developing a style influenced by Professor Longhair.

How apt

The UK’s entry, Embers, sung by James Newman, finished last, failing to win a single point. It was the only Eurovision act to receive 0 after the juries of all 39 countries allocated their points.

That might well be all that’s left of that career.

Although many a cyclist has had a second life as the last to finish in the Tour de France, no?

Just has to be played

Just about everyone has done a version of this and this isn’t the original either.

When the Kingsmen went into a makeshift studio in Portland, Oregon, in April 1963 to record a raucous song with indecipherable lyrics called Louie Louie, Mike Mitchell and his band mates inadvertently created an entire genre of visceral guitar noise. Scuzzy and unsophisticated but imbued with a raw energy, it came to be known as garage rock, which in turn gave birth to the insurrectionary sound of punk.

At only two minutes and 42 seconds long, the song was crudely recorded in a single take with a solitary microphone dangling from the ceiling. The record cost $36 to make and was littered with mistakes. At one point the lead singer Jack Ely comes in several bars too early and has to wait for Mitchell and the rest of the band to catch up.

Although posterity has deemed that the errors are part of the record’s charm, at the time Mitchell and the group were unhappy with the sloppiness and asked to do another take. Their manager said it was fine and in any case the song was only intended as an audition demo for a cruise ship job.

It’s not a good guitar solo and, in fact, it’s a pretty terrible rendition of the song. Boy is there some life and excitement to it though.

Can’t recall even which decade this happened – either when flavoured ice teas were the thing or maybe it was the earlier bottled wine coolers phase. Ads were all about fine young forms disporting themselves at the beach. They got a dozen bands of the day – memory makes me want to say Hootie and the Blowfish and the like – to do covers. OK, looking it up, I almost got that story right.

But the point of the story is that none of those covers ever do capture what the Kingsmen did. It’s in construction a calypso. As the Ks did it it is, like all rock, about sex. Forget the lyrics, they’re entirely unimportant. It’s 2 minutes 42 seconds of strutting testosterone and all the more marvellous for that.

Best $36 any record company ever spent.

If you’ve not heard it before – and some Brits might well not have done, much more famous over there than here – it’s worth the headphones on, cranked right up. As a piece of musical craftsmanship it’s entirely dreadful. As a blast of teenage sweat it’s entirely marvellous.

Yet they will forever be remembered for two minutes and 42 seconds of gloriously primitive noise that changed the sound of rock’n’roll for ever.


A proposal to the City Fathers

This sounds like an interesting opportunity:

The City of London is planning to convert empty office space into 1,500 homes and is considering banning cars from the Square Mile at weekends as part of its post-pandemic recovery strategy.

In an attempt to boost its appeal as a place to live and socialise, the City of London Corporation said it is considering traffic-free weekends and all-night festivals, as well as providing new cultural and exercise spaces for the public.

Low-cost, long-term leases in vacant buildings could be also offered to artists and musicians.

That very last there.

Not “musicians” but “rehearsal rooms for musicians”.

Gissa nice long term lease at peppercorn rent on space. Rehearsal rooms. It’s difficult to find somewhere to go play that doesn’t cost a fortune because there’s a mixing desk in the corner. Given the size of modern housing “garage band” doesn’t really work these days.

So, a series, within the one building, of rehearsal rooms. Places where everything from the horn section through the three guitars and drums to the sampler plus dancers can actually work on the public presentation of gigs.

One can imagine rather quickly building up an ecosystem of lights lads, sound engs and session folks – hmm, perhaps would be session folks – that would hang out with bands trying it out. Moving out further, an office upstairs that specialises in those new EU carnets, visas for tours and so on. Some cubbyholes where songwriters are allowed to rent for a pittance. Who knows, if Islington Technical College still teaches some actual subjects there could be NVQ trainees around.

If the City Fathers would kick in the premises for near nowt then perhaps a music charity or two would pick up the operating bills?

Oh, and that four bed three reception penthouse with a roof terrace in The City for the person who first thought of this, of course.

Guardian subs

It’s hard not to blanche when you consider the sheer number of records that have been sold featuring his work.

Why would you turn into a female Belgian popster when so considering? Or did you mean blanch?