Religion

In leafy, arty, upper-crust Hampstead, north London, there came a healer.

Marianne Nicholls was well-spoken, well-groomed and evidently well-to-do. But beneath the polished exterior of Gucci handbags and BMW convertibles, the woman who claimed to be a daughter of high court judges had a secret. It was one which she would reveal after entering into the confidences of local residents who were down on their luck: Marianne was a shaman.

One people stop believing in God they don’t believe in nothing but in anything.

Who better to scam than those who believe in idiocies like socialism and government?

She could tell if your spirit was dark and sad. She could divine if you were going to get cancer. And she could save lives via a trip to the healing waters of Suriname in South America.

Occasionally, she would take her new friends there herself. But, actually, all that needed to travel was an envelope of cash. The monetary sacrifice, posted to her fellow healer “Papa Freddie”, would prove your commitment to the spirits who had the power to cure. Papa and other colleagues she referred to as “the indigenous” would hang the offering on a sacred tree in the jungle in order to restore your shattered spirit. Best of all, once the healing was complete, the envelope would be returned unopened.

Ho, right. But works on the sort of people who believe in Net Zero etc…..

Yes, yes, the NHS is the national religion and all that but seriously?

Sarah Mullally, the first female archbishop of Canterbury, is a trailblazer with invaluable NHS leadership skills

We tend not to think of the NHS as being well led now, do we?

The 63-year-old is a person who understands the levers and cogs of a historic institution such as the Church of England or a national institution such as the NHS.

She’s a bureaucrat.

The real and enduring impact of Anglican churches is felt in villages, towns and cities across the UK, across the world, where people gather to pray, run food banks, host AA meetings, reach isolated elderly people, invite parents and toddlers to play, and offer shelter for people who are hungry or homeless.

The challenge for the established church, praying for every soul, not just those who come to Sunday services, is to get our doors open, keep them open, welcome everyone without exception and never allow the church to become a cosy club of the already initiated.

Not much there about the fear of hell and damnation, is there?

The Rev Lucy Winkett is rector of St James’s Piccadilly and priest in charge of St Pancras church, Euston Road, and a writer, broadcaster and musician

She is an answer to the prayers of all those who long for change in society
Lucy Winkett

Orthodox member of the lanyard class is going to change everything, is he?

Pope Francis gave the King and Queen a blessing for their 20th wedding anniversary, it has emerged.

The King and Queen, who had a private audience with the late pontiff in April, were offered his blessing behind closed doors.

Their marriage would not be recognised in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Both have been divorced, with Andrew Parker Bowles, the Queen’s ex-husband, still living.

That Chuck has been divorced used to be something of interest to the Catholic Church. He is not now divorce in hte eyes of the Church. He is a widower. His being married again is fine.

Her marriage, well.

But if you’re going to go off on one about how Il Papa was nice to an elderly couple you could at least get the basics right.

Back in the day the Telegraph used to get this sort of thing right. But then that was when their religion correspondent was someone I’d been at school with. He was also one of the myriad of one of the old recusant families of course, knew his stuff. In fact the library at the sschool was named after one of the clan who’d been martyred by the CoE back when it actually believed in something. So, there’s that too.

So a builder lucked out, the fixer upper he was working on jumped in value when it turned out to be the childhood home of the new Pope. Cool!

Jason House, the mayor of Dolton, said he hoped the community could acquire the building to turn it into a “historic landmark”, as other towns and cities have done with the homes of former residents who have achieved stardom.

“We’ve talked to our attorneys and we’re considering whether we can use eminent domain to acquire the property, make sure we pay a fair value for it,” he told the Chicago TV station Fox 32. Then Catholics from all over the world could repair to Dolton, a papal Graceland in the suburbs of Chicago.

Doesn’t take long for the scumbags and maggots to come out, does it? Eminent domain is compulsory purchase. And the only reason he’d use that is in order to reduce the price he has to pay for it.

Bastard.

Net zero targets are killing off the Church of England, clergy and wardens have warned.

Access to new oil or gas boilers has been restricted under a Church of England commitment to reach net zero carbon emissions by 2030.

A Telegraph investigation can reveal that the policy has left dozens of churches in the cold for months on end, with rural churches bearing the brunt of the policy.

Priests and wardens have warned that the green energy drive is putting parishioners’ health at risk, driving down church attendance and causing damp to rot historic buildings.

Does this apply to mosques?

The correct answer there is no, of course not, don’t be silly. Mosques do not have the one overarching “church” with committees etc. Therefore there’s no one decision point that the climate Trots can take over to enforce such a rule. Each decision is left to each congregation. Who, faced with being cold, the building falling apart, go with a bit of climate change is better than dying as we worship.

If the structure doesn’t exist the structure cannot be taken over by fanatic entryists….

The allegations span two decades and include claims that young missionaries were publicly shamed, subjected to rituals to “cure” their homosexuality, and told that leaving was against God’s will.

Young British adults who signed up for training schools and overseas mission trips – many during their gap years – described regular confession sessions where they were pressured to admit their “sins” in a group.

These included perceived moral transgressions such as homosexual thoughts, sexual activity, abortions and watching pornography, as well as other “sins” such as disobeying a leader or having “rebellious thoughts”. Those who confessed could be questioned and made to give public apologies, according to former missionaries. They could be prayed for or could face punishment, including being removed from volunteer roles. In some cases, interventions were more extreme. Former YWAM volunteers described the use of rituals similar to exorcisms to banish demons from people who acknowledged having sex outside marriage.

The difference between this and struggle sesssions in which you acknowledge your white supremacy escapes me.

Peterborough Cathedral is facing financial collapse by Easter amid rising National Insurance costs, the cost of living crisis and a decline in donations.

The dean, the Very Rev Christopher Dalliston, has launched an urgent fundraising appeal, warning the cathedral will not survive without financial support.

He is hoping to raise £300,000 by the end of March, with Peterborough at risk of becoming the country’s first “part-time” cathedral.

The cathedral has been central to the city’s history for nearly 1,400 years and without extra funds it will not be able to keep its doors open seven days a week.

Late as in launching the fund raiser with only 3 months of the 1,400 years left?

Ever so slightly more seriously I do not, in fact, know what the solution to cathedrals is. They cost an absoluite fortune to run, they can’t be converted to residential (unlike a number of smaller churches), no other congregation would want to take on such a building (unlike many another church) and, well, what in buggery does one do with such glories?

Rosie, 25, said she was walking through a forested route in Portugal earlier this summer when she came across a man with no trousers on who was masturbating as he watched her. The local police did not pick up when she tried to call them.

“It was terrifying,” said Rosie, who asked that her full name not be published. “I just felt completely alone at that point.”

The incident had left her feeling unsafe, making her realise her unique vulnerability as a lone female pilgrim.

Because you’re a lone woman on a very rural part of a pilgrim trail. You are, you see, alone?

It’s also worth putting this into context:

Lone female pilgrims walking the Camino de Santiago have spoken of being subjected to “terrifying” sexual harassment in near-deserted areas of rural Spain, Portugal and France.

In interviews with the Guardian, nine women alleged they had experienced harassment while attempting the pilgrimage route over the past five years, with several saying they had feared for their lives.

9 over 5 years.

A pilgrim approaches Castrojeriz in Castilla v León, Spain. More than 230,000 women are said to have walked the Camino last year.

There are suburban high streets worse than that….

A British clergyman has reportedly died during a night of alleged drug-fuelled sex with a Belgian priest.

The 69-year-old English priest is understood to travelled to the country for the papal visit, but died after consuming “ecstasy and poppers” and engaging in sexual relations, according to a Dutch-language newspaper.

Father Bernard, 60 – the priest who allegedly entertained the unnamed British clergyman in his rectory – had since been arrested, Het Laatste Nieuws reported on Sunday.

No, that’s not the amusement. Such things happen.

It’s that no one at all – and I’ve looked at a number of reports on this – tells us which denomination the priests were.

I don’t know whether the Flemish are generally C or P for example. The Walloons, yes, C but…..

At which point, some sterling detective work by yours truly. This is the church of the Belgian priest. Roman Catholic Dioceses of Antwerp. Thus at least one of them – and we’d assume both I guess – are Papists.

At which point we can all get back to the usual commentary. One I’ve seen was “Good on ’em, no kids, eh?” and another “Chemsex at 69? Most sporting” etc….

More allegations of sexual abuse made against French priest Abbé Pierre
Catholic church says it will open its records on the once-revered Emmaüs founder, who died in 2007

He’s already found out about it all, hasn’t he? All about God, forgiveness, the weighing of souls and all that?

The Pope has allegedly said there are too many homosexual men entering Italian seminaries and they should be kept out, claiming there is “too much faggotry” among those training for the priesthood.

Not just the Italian seminaries either. It’s a more general complaint across the Church.

Up for debate was a previous regulation issued in 2005, which banned men from entering seminaries if they practised homosexuality, had “deeply rooted” homosexual tendencies or supported “gay culture”.

Being gay isn’t a problem in the slightest. But priests are supposed to – however sensible this is or not – subsume their active sexuality. Like, you know, not have sex? Which is where the problem comes in. Not chasing the nuns around the cloister is easy enough to observe and or enforce. Wanna come to my cell in the seminary for a little “prayer” is more difficult.

The rector of Liverpool has quit the Church of England over “race, gender and sexuality discrimination”.

Canon Dr Crispin Pailing left the position he has held for a decade, saying he cannot continue to work “in an organisation which perpetuates bias and discrimination against sections of society”.

Dr Pailing, who was made an MBE for services to the community in December, advocates for same-sex marriage to be treated the same as the marriage of heterosexual couples.

Sounds to me like this is as with a Major General leaving on not getting the nod for Lt Gen. The COO off when not made CEO. Not makin’ me a bishop? The ‘ell with you then.

Of course, with views like this the bigt 1question is why the hell wasn’t he made a CoE bishop?

“By voting yes in the family referendum, we’re saying that all families are equal, regardless of the marital status of parents,” he told reporters.

Marriage is a contract. The contract involves some legal issues. Those who marry have that contract, those who do not do not. Therefore the unmarried and the married are not equal.

Perhaps they should be regarded as equal in moral and ethical value, perhaps they shouldn’t, but in legal terms they’re not equal simply because marriage is that contract.

Super-rich families and wealthy investors will be asked for help by the Church of England to build a £1 billion reparations fund to atone for the “great evil” of the slave trade.

A £100 million pot announced by the church last year is “insufficient” to address the “enduring harms from enslavement” that persist today, an independent report has found, calling for a tenfold increase.

The church made the commitment after finding that a significant chunk of its £10.3 billion wealth could be traced back to profits from slavery, largely through a fund given to the church by Queen Anne in 1704 that invested heavily in the slave trade.

Sure. We made money from the slave trade. We’ve still got it. But you should pay the reparations.

Just, you know, like the stance and dress?

A Christian councillor who tweeted “Pride is not a virtue but a sin” is being investigated by Conservative headquarters.

King Lawal, a Northamptonshire councillor, has been suspended from the Conservative Party and said he has been “cancelled” by six other organisations after expressing his religious beliefs on social media.

Responding to images of pride parades organised by LGBT groups at the end of last month, he wrote: “When did Pride become a thing to celebrate. Because of Pride Satan fell as an arch Angel. Pride is not a virtue but a Sin. Those who have Pride should Repent of their sins and return to Jesus Christ.

Pretty standard christianity thing. Not even about buggery etc. But about pride. Pride’s a bad thing in christianity. Humble and meek is the thing.

Soul Survivor urges worshippers to pray for suspended pastors
Victims accused the church of ‘gaslighting’ congregants by asking them to support those accused of failing to act on claims of abuse

Pray for sinners? Who could possibly do that? What does anyone think this is, a Christian church or summat?

So, this other work I do then, slight change for Monday:

Knew about UK – “late may bank holiday” or summat, isn’t it? What used to be Whitsun – which I never knew what that was. But. US Memorial Day.

Pentecost tho’? Why the Scandis celebrating that?

Pentecost is one of the Great feasts in the Eastern Orthodox Church, a Solemnity in the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church, a Festival in the Lutheran Churches, and a Principal Feast in the Anglican Communion.

Ah, Lutherans. No Papists taking the day off tho’. Nor non-US colonials.

Shrug.

Gorillas and other apes spin themselves around in circles to get “high” – and early humans who lived millions of years ago may have done the same, scientists believe.

Researchers saw a viral video of a gorilla spinning around in a pool and wondered why the ape was behaving like this, if it was more widespread, and what purpose it could have.

Further online research revealed it to be a common behaviour and analysis of more than 40 videos showed the apes use ropes or vines to rotate more than five times at a speed of 1.5 revolutions per second.

The ruction? That Sufi idea of spindancing into a closer relationship with God. This is thus ancient wisdom or the behaviour of an ape?

Humza Yousaf suggests SNP rival Kate Forbes thinks gay marriage ‘inferior’
Front-runner in race to succeed Nicola Sturgeon says Scots want a leader who ‘shares their values’

Og course, this is politics, so don’t expect any logic or fairness in the arguments being used.