Sex

Uefa is considering launching an investigation into Gianni Infantino’s conduct throughout the entirety of his 16 years at the organisation after revelations that his alleged lover was paid off.

The Telegraph disclosed how a woman received a six-figure sum after an alleged relationship with Mr Infantino while he was a top official at European football’s governing body.

Seriously, what would be the point of running an organisation if the org didn’t buy in some totty for you to bang while you did so?

Next Bond should be monogamous to ‘reflect the modern world’

Someone out there thinks the modern world is *more* monogamous than that of the past? Rilly?

An unbelievable fall from grace’: ICC’s top prosecutor removed over alleged sexual misconduct
Insiders report a ‘terrible, toxic’ environment at International Criminal Court, while British barrister at centre of case claims he is being stitched up for pursuing charges against Netanhayu

It’s possible to run this claim around the other way. Precisely because he’s being beastly to Jews then and therefore he should be allowed to force the staff to have sex with him. You know, standard lefty argument, the elite get the groupies? Hell, worked for Gerry Healy, no?

And in the age of AI, stolen images of children matter. Taken in real life or scraped from the internet, they’re the raw material for generating realistic-looking child abuse material of the most extreme and disturbing kind. (If that sounds like a grim but ultimately fairly victimless crime, the Internet Watch Foundation warned in a recent report that AI-generated material risks fuelling sexual interest in children, normalising violence and increasing the risk of real-life offending.)

That some will be inflamed by piccies into doing is clearly true. That others will wank themselves into a stupor over piccies and not do is also, obviously, true. What we want to know is what is the balance? Does more piccies mean less action and more stupor?

Yes. We know this. Overall porn acts sa a substitute, not a complement. Therefore we don’t actually want to stop people AIing porn at all, rather encourage it.

Not that that’s an argument that’s likely to fly in political circles…..

Unite, the union representing most cabin crew, which has 30,000 female members in the sector, last year found that 34% of women had been sexually assaulted at work (this includes ground staff); 67% had experienced unwanted flirting, gesturing or sexual remarks;

Unwanted flirting? But how does anyone know whether flirting will be wanted until it is tried?

What is the chief obstacle that must be overcome in most modern-day big-screen romcoms? Lack of attraction? Misaligning schedules? Or, perhaps, heteromonogamy? If that wasn’t the dominating norm of human relationships, many movie plots would be much swifter to resolve. What if Elizabeth Olsen didn’t have to choose between Callum Turner and Miles Teller in Eternity? Or Twilight allowed Bella to be in a throuple with Edward and Jacob? Even though both films have fantasy narratives, their predestined outcome is as real as it gets – a man and a woman (re)marry and live happily ever after.

For a long time, alternative relationship structures were relegated to fan fiction, undeserving of mainstream fictional representations where conflict and resolution are both inscribed in coupledom. Even the films that challenged mononormativity, such as Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, sustain the cautionary tale: opening up your relationship will eventually break it. As a practising non-monogamist, I yearn to see my values represented on screen as something more than a cautionary tale.

Well, OK, but it does seem pretty boring to de demanding fare that merely confirms what you already do….

Sky Kanyarat was playing pool in the early hours of the morning in one of Thailand’s most famous red light districts when a middle-aged foreigner with a heavy gait approached her.

She had often seen him walking past the bar where she worked in Pattaya, a city about a two-hour drive from Bangkok. But this was the first time Kanyarat had seen him come in.

As he passed under the bunting of flags from around the world, it appeared “he was drunk from somewhere else because he walked wobbly,” says Kanyarat, who identifies as a ladyboy, a term commonly used in Thailand’s transgender community.

Identifies as, eh?

Bill Gates named three women he had extramarital affairs with as part of an investigation into Jeffrey Epstein by US politicians.
The billionaire Microsoft co-founder told the House Oversight Committee that he had affairs with two Russian women, whom he named for the first time as Mila Antonova, a bridge player, and Karima Nigmatulina, a nuclear physicist.

So, Mila, what first attracted you to the centibillionaire Bill Gates?

One of the things about our correct world, in which it’s the nerds who get rich, is that we’ve the lowest body count among rich men ever. Seriously, three side shags over 30 years? Yer average medieval Duke would manage that by lunchtime.

17% is LBGTetc? And wishing to be mongamous with it?

Ho Hum.

The Observer then goes on to talk about, well, why monogamy? In their preview of the science they manage, not once, to mention children. The human experience is that to raise children requires a pair for a decade or three. The resources necessary to raise ’em need to come from two people. That intent toward monogamy is because we are descended from those who were a pair for the necessary time to get grandchildren. Now, whether you’re monogamous within a pair bonding is indeed another thing. But we can see the constraints that poses – the bloke won’t want to be raising what isn’t his, the bird will be pissed if he’s spreading his resources over those not hers.

Which is what makes it all rather fun. That discussion of monogamy doesn’t even mention that likely reason for the tendency – bints and bins.

It’s a nice thought. But Jessica M Goldstein, a journalist who has covered Hollywood aesthetics and culture, is not as hopeful. “Beauty standards under capitalism require there to always be something new to purchase,” she said. “There might be a superficial change – humanmade things become a badge of prestige or class, like how brands will talk about something being made in America. But that doesn’t mean that people are going to stop paying to have work done. It just means the nature of the work will change.”

Capitalism is the reason for plastic surgery. Not competitiveness within the sexes at all. Ho no, not humans, but the economic system!

TVP is currently assessing one allegation that a woman was trafficked into Britain by Epstein in 2010 to have sex with Mr Mountbatten-Windsor at Royal Lodge in Windsor.

The force has been in contact with the woman’s legal team.

Flying in a willing tart is – these days – classed as trafficking. Which, of course, it ain’t. But that’s the way the extremists have managed to get the law to define it…..

Whatlington (population: 320) is near Battle. I grew up there. Opposite the church and a mill-house formerly occupied by the famous sage (once deputy editor of this newspaper) Malcolm Muggeridge, runs an attractive bridle path with farms on each side. I know it well because I used to ride along it as a boy.
Two years ago, a campsite opened in a field next to the path. Such sites are quite common in pretty rural spots and are often permitted on agricultural land under various rules, including a maximum-use limit of 60 days a year. They usually raise few objections.
This site, however, is rather different. It advertises itself online as “an adult-only naturist camping site”. On Facebook (later taken down), it added that it was a swingers’ site. It also publishes its club terms and conditions about the circumstances in which customers can “play” there. The site’s name is Turn a Blind Eye.
Possibly, if it had been easy to do so, a blind eye was what the village would have turned. After all, if naturists want to drive hundreds of miles in their caravans to find other nudist caravan-owners with whom to “play”, that is – literally – their own affair. Perhaps they imagine their activities are in keeping with the locality’s designation as an Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty.

It has everything, doesn’t it?

Naughty! British! Caravans! I mean, really, only the British would use caravans to be naughty in.

And they’re doing it by the street where they might frighten the horses too.

Pity Sid and Babs aren’t still with us to film the documentary.

My husband left me for a man. It was a uniquely painful betrayal
After more than 40 years together, finding out that the father of my children was gay and had been having a secret affair blindsided me

Not a Fnarr, Fnarr there in the headline.

But, sorta, which is worse? Hubby doesn’t like women therefore it’s not which woman I am that’s the problem? Or hubby doesn’t like women which is a worse betrayal?

Obviously, her call on that. But, logically, it is possible for it to run either way, no?

However, it may not always have been like this. Research suggests that in the Victorian era and early 20th century, Northern Ireland was much more tolerant and accepting of gay men.

“I was expecting to find repression but there was a sort of benevolent toleration,” said Tom Hulme, a historian at Queen’s University Belfast and author of Belfastmen: An Intimate History of Life Before Gay Liberation, which is published this week.

“Among friends and families and employers it was sort of known and understood that a man may have desires for another man and that might be why they remain unmarried or live alone or have many close male friends.

“To reveal the open secret would have been problematic. While these things remained unsaid they could essentially kind of exist. We’re not talking about people walking down the streets, holding hands. It’s a much more closed, secret kind of culture.”

Hulme said tacit ignorance and public silence enabled male queerness to flourish with only rare exposure, condemnation or regulation, with a “live and let live” ethos especially prevalent in the working class.

Mrs. Patrick Campbell’s not in the streets where you’ll frighten the horses idea comes to mind. And is also, around and about what most places were like, no? Certainly, that’s what I’ve always assumed.

Yes, there were hangings for sodomy, so it wasn’t all sweetness and light – I have a strong suspicion that some to many of those were for rape, not consensual as well. But, agreed, not all.

I’m also amused by this:

In the 1980s and 1990s, the Royal Ulster Constabulary used plainclothes officers to bait and catch gay men in parks and public toilets.

It’s wholly possible to be actively ignorant about what happens behind closed doors and also think that cottaging ain’t all that great. Though in very recent times I have seen some argue that cottaging is their ‘uman right, see, which does seem to be taking matters much too far.

To be arrested, charged and jailed was an “awful” ordeal for gay men, but on release many returned to their former lives, with communities turning a blind eye to sexual orientation as long as there was discretion, said Hulme. “A careful game goes on between gay men and their friends and families. Knowing nods and winks, ‘oh, he’s not the marrying type’.”

Quite.

Weight loss drugs transformed our sex life
A couple who lost 17st between them say Mounjaro gave them more than weight loss, restoring confidence and closeness

I am reminded of a story – a story, not something fact checked.

A farmer’s wife – and of the size and shape of a proper farmer’s wife – decided she desired to lose weight. Further, that the manner of doing so was to have lots and lots of sex. She was rural, but not that rural, so this required the cooperation of hubby. Which duly arrived and everything was fine – she lost weight.

As happens with these things so did he lose weight and apparently he was 6 stone when he fainted off his tractor.

Obviously not fact checked because who would want to destroy a story that good?

I was sucked in by the money, but it wasn’t like I wanted a Lamborghini. I just wanted to be able to buy myself a house, buy my family a house, travel, and not worry. Within the first six weeks, I got a £3,000 pay cheque. I come from a low-income family where no one has come close to making that amount in just over a month. I thought: “This is the kind of money that’s going to change my life.” And that was just the start.
I was soon making between £10,000 and £15,000 a month on a regular basis. In my highest-earning month I made between £25,000 and £30,000.

Couple of years of tits oot fer the lads and she’s made for life. No, really, be able to buy a house off that and once you do own your own house – outright – at 21 or whatever then the rest of life is, financially at least, a bit of a breeze.

Now, yes, this is also a life course that might be regretted and so on. But to whinge that it was actually TikTok that forced you into it is rather cakeism, no? And that everyone else must have their ability to use social media restricted as a result is well over the top. Very female – I’m not giving the money back but I am complaining – too.

OM is a mindfulness practice with a strict choreography. It is done in pairs typically composed of a man and a woman. During the session, the woman lies back on an arrangement of pillows and blankets known as a “nest”. She is unclothed from the waist down, with her legs open in a butterfly position, while the “stroker”, usually a man, uses his left index finger to stroke the upper left quadrant of the woman’s clitoris for 15 minutes.

Mindfulness, eh?

“Serious practitioners often OMed four times a day or more,” Huet wrote. “Twice in the morning, twice in the evening.”

Just where does the whole day go, eh?

The lawsuit claimed that an unnamed girl was drugged and raped by both Jay-Z and Combs at a party after the MTV music awards in 2000.

Always believe the woman, of course.

The suit alleged that Jay-Z and Sean “Diddy” Combs raped a a 13-year-old girl at a party in 2000. Combs and Jay-Z denied all allegations after the lawsuit was filed in late 2024, and the case was voluntarily dismissed in February 2025.

Filed, erm, 24 years later? When there’s no possibility at all of any evidence?

Erm, right. Difficult, right? So, erm, why should we always believe the woman?

A California jury found Bill Cosby guilty of sexual assault in a civil trial on Monday, awarding Donna Motsinger $59.25m in damages. Motsinger alleged in the case that while working as a restaurant server in 1972, she was drugged and raped by Cosby after he gave her a glass of wine in his limousine.

Motsinger sued Cosby after California amended its laws to change the statutes of limitations on when accusers can file sexual assault cases.

The statute of limitations is there for a reason. Even, a number of them. One of which is what evidence was there here which could be tested? Personal statements from more than 50 years back? No, obviously I don’t know but there’s no real way that anyone else can either….

The HR Executive caught on a kiss camera at a Coldplay concert with her boss has claimed that he lied to her about his relationship status.

Kirsten Cabot, 53, a former HR manager at the tech company Astronomer, was filmed in a romantic embrace at the concert in July with Andy Byron, who was CEO of the company.

She was getting divorced, he said he was but wasn’t.

Shocker, eh?