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Sex

How terribly fun

Her film was not meant to be “a demonstration of anything”, but its title and synopsis alone – the story of transsexual women moving from Palestine to Tel Aviv to live out their new identities – risked being read as a political statement on the current conflict.

In Israel, gay marriage can be registered but only if it is performed abroad, and male-to-female sex reassignment surgery is carried out in public hospitals, while in the Palestinian territories homosexuality remains a taboo.

Of course, it rather is a demonstration of something, isn’t it?

One of those little details of Teh Gayer lifestyle

Admittedly, not something I’d previously given a great deal of thought to but apparently this is the sort of thing that makes The Guardian’s problems pages these days:

I am a man in my early 30s married to a man in his mid-50s. We have always been in an open relationship: we met at a sex party. When we met I was always a bottom and he a top. Over time, however, he has become obsessed with bottoming. He never penetrates me, even in a group, and has starting expressing jealousy about the tops that I attract. I feel he is throwing our life away in pursuit of a pipe dream and I long to get back the dominant top that I married – a role he is suited for physically. He has been looking at escort websites, which I find depressingly inevitable. How can I wake him up to reality?

How unlike the hiome life of our own Dear Queen, no?

Diddums

The programme collates allegations made by 10 men, most in the US, some who worked with Spacey when he was the director of the Old Vic theatre in London. With the exceptions of one who was at high school with Spacey, and another who says he encountered him in 1981 long before he was famous, the men all level more or less the same accusation: an influential man made unwanted advances to them and, at the time, they didn’t feel able to complain. Only one has come forward publicly before.

If someone insists upon concluding unwanted advances, perhaps carrying on with unwanted advances, then that’s a crime. If someone makes unwanted advances then that’s human sexuality.

There is, obviously enough, always a question about whether an advance is wanted or not. That cannot be resolved unless an advance is made, considered and accepted or rejected. Someone, somewhere, has to ask “You wanna, you know?” or no you know will ever happen.

To complain about advances is to be non-human. To insist upon completing rejected advances is to be criminal. Most of what’s interesting about human sexuality (no, not sex, but the surrounds of it) happens between the two.

Yes?

She said she was “groomed” into regular intercourse and felt used as a “sex object” to help his boredom.

That he was a GP, that patients were involved, that it took place in the examining room in the surgery, that some of it was claimed to be forced – all good reasons why he’s lost his licence to practice.

But that a shag is just a way to pass the time, to alleviate the ennui, erm, yes?

Voluntary transactions should be illegal apparently

Let’s stop pretending that paying for sex is anything but abuse
It’s revolting to see men casually boast about how they treat prostitutes — they should be shamed and jailed

Sigh.

Things that are illegal to do to people – beat them up, say, or cheat them – should obviously be illegal for all people. But things that people voluntarily agree to do – rent out a body part for 10 minutes, say – should be legal.

And leaving sex work where it is, legal, means that it’s possible for those who undertake it to report and therefore be protected from those things which are illegal for all people.

Legal prostitution is safer than illegal that is.

Now, obviously, those who charge for sex in a different way might not like the cash but otherwise cost unencumbered supply but that’s just one of life’s little toughies.

It’s also possible to put this a different way. Why should middle aged women be allowed to control the sexuality of other adults?

In my day we called it shagging around

My husband is my co-parent, friend and lover – but he isn’t the only person I have sex with: the inside story of an open marriage

Another way to look at this is that aristocratic marriage has moved down into the bourgeoisie. After all, once that heir and spare had been delivered it was thought somewhat uncouth to even try to determine the paternity of any others. The same being true of other such aristocratic marriages of course so it all evened out.

Are there no Guardsmen left?

A source close to Mr Menzies told The Times he met a man on an online dating website and went to his flat before then going with another man to a second address and continuing drinking.

The source added it was falsely claimed he was sick at one point and several people at the address demanded £5,000 they asserted was to cover the cost of cleaning and other expenses.

Traditionally it was the bushes in Hyde Park wasn’t it? Such winter activity being one of those things that made you proud to be British.

Still, makes the solution fairly simple. Increase the defence budget and keep the Household Division up to muster.

Well, sorta

David Bonney realised his employer, the Royal Air Force, was investigating his sexuality within minutes of entering the guard room at RAF Mount Batten, a military base near Plymouth. It was 1991 and Bonney, then a 21-year-old medical assistant, had just been escorted from his post at the medical centre by military police. He sat down in the guard room, opposite the duty staff, and the interrogation began.

“Questions about my sex life,” says Bonney, now 55. “Questions about witnessing me with other gay people. Questions about things I said on the phone to my mother.” He says there was shouting, swearing, banging on the desk. “Threats to me, threats to my career, threats to my family.” Bonney hadn’t told anyone in the military that he was gay. Before 2000, it was illegal for gay people to serve in the British armed forces and he knew a confession would cost him his career. “They wanted to get rid of me,” he says. “Anything they could to just manipulate me into confessing, to frighten the hell out of me.”

The initial interrogation took two hours. The RAF’s investigation into Bonney’s sexuality lasted two years. He says he was questioned more than a dozen times, spied on, threatened and intimidated.

When Bonney did confess, in October 1993, he was court martialled. He received a dishonourable discharge, a criminal record, multiple fines and was sentenced to six months in detention – one month of which was in solitary confinement. They would have taken his medals, too, had he not hidden them. The solitary confinement was, he says, a vindictive decision, he says, because “I made them work for two years to try to get rid of me” before he confessed.

Bonney served four months in prison, before being let out early for good behaviour. He is believed to be the last person in the UK to be imprisoned for being gay.

You can describe that as being imprisoned for being gay, sure. But that’s not quite right either.

He was imprisoned for lying while being in the RAF. Which is a slightly different thing.

If he hadn’t been in the RAF then he wouldn’t have served time. Thus the serving time was about the RAF, not about being gay.

It is somewhat impolite to be as logical as this these days but there we are.

How excellent

Adultery is set to become legal in the state of New York with politicians poised to scrap the crime of infidelity among married people.

So now they’ll spend more time fucking each other rather than the country.

Sorry, obvious joke is obvious.

Jeebus

To me, heterosexual dating culture’s obsession with height has always been one of its most baffling features (among many).

In general and thus normally men are taller than women. So, a few hundred thousand years of humanity have got used to that idea. This is then reflected in cultural norms.

It’s as if the bird has never heard of path dependence.

I can’t expect society to stop rewarding tall men for being tall, but I do think women (and everyone) can make a difference by interrogating their own desires and expanding their stringent boundaries. It not only opens up your dating pool, it opens you up to different kinds of people and experiences. It’s time for tall men to have to prove themselves like everyone else, and it’s time for the rest of us to be more like Zendaya.

Ah, yes, she really does believe that society is born anew in each generation, the tabula rasa.

Linguistic complaint etc

Asylum seeker who sold prostitutes under Home Office’s nose
A Thai applicant, Saranwee Kwanpetch, who was supposed to be monitored is accused of exploiting vulnerable women with impunity

He’s running a website flogging tart services at £150 an hour in Mayfair.

Pimps don’t sell birds. The entire point is that you don’t wrap them up and take them home forever.

Quite apart from whether high end escorts are being exploited or not.

Aha, aha

Polyamory (having multiple partners at once consensually) and open relationships (where couples pursue other sexual relationships but tend to stay emotionally connected to just each other) aren’t anything new. The anarchist revolutionary Emma Goldman advocated for “free love” in place of “that poor little State and Church-begotten weed, marriage” in the 1910s, while many in the queer community practiced open relationships long before “polycule” became a TikTok buzzword.

Yet if you say that Teh Gayers tend to be more promiscuous, on average, than Teh Heteros you can be accused of homophobia. That it’s factually true among male gays to be so – on average of course – while less so for lesbians doesn’t seem to matter. Or perhaps it’s that because poly is an acceptable work while promiscuous is not then it’s OK to admit it using one word and not t’other.

Hmm, dunno

Stephanie Glasspool said she could also hear “people having sexual intercourse”, saying this was “far beyond what one would expect in a residential family neighbourhood”.

Among the more traditionally minded the one is how you create the other – so I’d suspect that might actually associate them.

Ooooh, this is good

Viagra may help to lower the risk of Alzheimer’s disease, study finds
Research by UCL, which examined medical records of 260,000 men with erectile dysfunction, has provided ‘food for thought’

So we’re more likely to remember why we’ve got a stiffie then?

Well, yes….

The lawsuit alleges that Mr McMahon dangled “career-making and life-changing” promises in front of Ms Grant after the pair were introduced in 2019.

According to the lawsuit, Mr McMahon lived in the same building as Ms Grant and in 2019 offered to get her a job at WWE after her parents died.

‘Sex was requirement of the job’
She alleges that he eventually made it clear that one of the requirements of the job was a physical relationship with him and later with Mr Laurinaitis and others.

Over the next few years, Mr McMahon lavished her with gifts, including an expensive car, the lawsuit says.

The lawsuit alleges that Mr McMahon and Mr Laurinaitis “controlled her continued employment with WWE, and pressured her to engage in sex acts”.

Umm.

In entirely unrelated news a bit of advice. Of course, to spend corporate money on a horizontal worker is to misuse corporate fiunds. But it’s also probably wise to make sure that the horizontal worker is in fact a professional at being a horizontal worker. Hire from the ranks of horizontal workers that is…..

Define “extreme”

Extreme pornography could be banned as part of the biggest overhaul of the legislation in 40 years, says the Tory peer appointed by Rishi Sunak to review the industry.

In an exclusive interview with The Telegraph, Baroness Bertin, the independent reviewer of porn, said she was concerned that adults and children were legally able to view “very harmful” pornographic material online.

Yo the Southern Baptist minister Stricly Come Dancing is extreme porn…..

Very important to know, no doubt

The questions are asked when patients register with an online portal which enables them to access their hospital appointment details, test results and medical records, before attending NHS outpatient appointments.

Patients are directed to a section on their personal information to fill in their details, with repeated reminders for those who do not oblige.

“Gender identity” options to choose from include genderfluid, questioning, agender, non-binary, demiboy and demigirl, as well as male and female.

Have to admit, demiboy and demigirl are new ones on me. Presumably halfboy and or half girl. But then won’t each of those be exactly the same thing? Half one, half t’other?

Or is that being too binary again?