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We might, might, be able to explain this

Europe was promised a new golden age of the night train. Why are we still waiting?
Jon Worth
Romance, excitement and sustainability – continent-crossing sleeper trains should be a hit. It’s time for the EU to catch on

Worth’s blog is, for some dim and distant reason, in my reader. So, I gain access to years and years of mithering over why the 6.01 am to Mainz is late. That’s the general level of content.

‘E just loves ‘is continent spanning trains.

As Europeans woke up to the joy of travel post-lockdown, it looked as though we were in store for a resurgence of continent-crossing night trains. Sleeper train fans hailed a “night train renaissance” and a “rail revolution”, combining some of the nostalgia for an old way of travelling with modern climate and sustainable transport concerns.

The long-distance European train journey might be slower than a short-haul flight, but it is surely better in terms of the environment and the traveller experience. For those on a budget, the prospect of saving on a night in a hotel appeals too.

But as anyone who has tried to plan a holiday train trip for this summer is likely to have found, night trains are still few and far between, especially in western Europe. And if there is a night train at all on a route, it will often be booked up months in advance. That’s not all: reliability and onboard service are often not up to scratch, with carriages on many routes pushing 50 years old.

There’s a surely in there which means no.

Why this insistence on slow, dirty, smelly, late and expensive? My assumption is that he got laid on a night train once as a teenager. As it’s not happening much since then and therefore the romance etc.

Now, as it happens, I once got laid on a night train. Very enjoyable it was too – as was the 5 month affair that followed. But the experience left me with a hankering for bouncy American redheads not the InterCity 125 from Inverness.

Takes all sorts I suppose.

It is?

There is a ton of information available online about how much sex you ought to be having if you want to get pregnant but a lot of it merits a large pinch of salt. The NHS advises sex every two to three days for up to a year, but that’s a lot of sex.

A lot?

Blimey

My partner and I are in our mid-20s and we have been together for just over a year. They are non-binary and all of my previous relationships have been with women (I am a woman). I love my partner so much, but our intimacy has become a lot less regular over the course of our relationship.

‘Mazin’ly, Pam Stephenson (for it is she) does not go on to point out that no one, ever, shags as much a year into a relationship as much as they did in the first couple of months of that same relationship.

But, you know, The Guardian.

A lot of sympathy with this

“We do, however, have significant concerns about the impact on doctor/patient confidentiality of the proposal in the Bill, which would introduce a mandatory duty to report consensual underage sexual activity whether or not there is any suggestion of abuse,” the statement said.

“We are strongly of the view that a doctor should only inform the police or social services of underage sexual activity where they have concerns that the young person is being abused.”

The submission said the Bill in its current form “would require doctors to report to the police or social services any disclosure of sexual activity between, for example, a 15-year-old and an 18-year-old, even if the relationship is consensual and there is no risk of harm present”.

It said: “It is common for young people under the age of 16 to be in consensual sexual relationships with people who are older (and frequently more than two years older) than themselves.”

It added that doctors should only have to report cases of suspected abuse.

Yes, yes, I know that someone under the age of consent cannot consent and all that.

And yet do we want some 15 year old shagging – at her request, even though we’re agreeing she doesn’t know enough to make the request – a 19 year old to be able to get the pill? Or, if he brings back some infection, treatment for that?

Slightly difficult, no?

Some women do just pick ’em

A female prison officer smuggled a Calpol syringe into jail to “artificially inseminate” herself with an inmate’s sperm.

Cherri-Ann Austin-Saddington, 29, had a six-month relationship with Bradley Trengrove while working as a warden at HMP The Verne on the Isle of Portland in Dorset.

They had sex up to 40 times, often in prison workshops while nobody was around. The mother of three became pregnant before losing the baby.

After the inmate was moved to another prison, she visited him with an empty Calpol syringe in her bra so she could “artificially inseminate” herself with his sperm, which he had wrapped in cling film for her.

Well, OK. But:

Her probation period was extended because she was suspected of having an inappropriate relationship with two prisoners, the court was told.

In January 2022, Trengrove, who was serving a 13-year extended jail sentence for raping a woman and having sexual activity with a child, was transferred to the prison.

That’s an, umm, interesting choice.

Well, yes, but trafficking?

The singer known as Cassie said her music career had been “stifled” by the incessant demands of the rap mogul ­Sean “P Diddy” Combs who wanted her to spend whole days sleeping with male escorts while high on drugs.

These performances, which Combs referred to as “freak offs”, became her job and involved “staying up for days on end, taking drugs [and] having sex with a stranger every day”, the singer, whose ­real name is Cassandra Ventura, told a court on Tuesday.

“They ranged from anywhere from 36, 48 to 72 hours,” she said, speaking quietly, her voice flat. “I feel like the longest was four days, maybe even more, like on and off with breaks, so it was a significant part of the week.”

Ventura, 38, is the star prosecution witness in the New York trial of Combs on racketeering, sex trafficking and prostitution charges related to the “freak offs” he is accused of forcing two girlfriends to ­arrange and take part in. He ­denies the charges.

It’s definitely a kink and quite possibly ungentlemanly behaviour. But racketeering and trafficking?

A not fully thought out theory, more a musing. There’s a constant amount of outrage about sex in a society. If we reduce the amount aimed at one set of sexual behaviour – chopping cocks off, men just being very good friends, adultery, fornication, whatever – then that same level and amount of outrage will be aimed at some other aspect of sexual behaviour – wannabe birds acceeding to rich men’s kinks perhaps, the casting couch, whatever.

As I say, wouldn’t want to be too absolute about this but I think there’s a nub of truth to it.

As Aristophanes pointed out the birds have a certain power in society. As Heinlein pointed out only among humans can there be a shortage of what every woman has a near infinite supply of. As that control of who gets how much – fornication now being common, celebrated and wholly healthy as it is – then other forms of control of what men may do will become socially accepted. Because who wants to give up power, right?

This works, does it?

Ms Ballard met Kern in Miami in 1994 while he was posing as Jonathan Palmer, a former Williams F1 driver, on a business trip.She was dining alone at an outdoor café in South Beach when Kern arrived in a forest green Jaguar and introduced himself.

He wooed her with a British accent

Quite, quite

The exemption for teenagers in consensual sexual relationships received cross-party support, recognising that “not all sexual activity involving under-18s is a cause for alarm or state intervention”.

The age of consent is 16. So, that’s what the age of consent is.

So, err?

My wife and I are suffering ‘lesbian bed death’. Is there any way back?
It’s 13 years since we had sex. My libido has come roaring back – but she’s not interested

Which way to joke about this? Lezzos do not in fact fancy each other? Or to point out that wives can tend to do this to whoever?

Yes, yes, of course we did

Muslims learned homophobia from the British Empire, a leading historian has claimed.

Diarmaid MacCulloch, emeritus professor at Oxford University, said a “horror of same-sex relationships” did not exist in Islamic culture before the 19th century.

It was only when the empire expanded across the Muslim world, he claimed, that Islam “absorbed” homophobia from British colonial armies.

Even the idea that there’s “a” Muslim attitude is ahistorical. Different cultures have different attitides. Bacha bazi among the Pathans would be – is – regarded with horror by the equally Muslim, say, Iranians.

This before we get to the idiocy of we did it to them.

Difficult to imagine really

A toddler was suspended from nursery after being accused of being transphobic or homophobic, The Telegraph can reveal.

Department for Education (DfE) data show the child, aged either three or four, was suspended from a state school in the 2022-23 academic year for “abuse against sexual orientation and gender identity”.

The school and further details of the case were not disclosed.

But statistics show that 94 pupils at state primary schools were suspended or permanently excluded for transphobia and homophobia in 2022-23.

Sure kids know the difference between Mummy and Daddy, between men and women. But they’ve no damn idea about sex or trans at that age.

Of course, to admit that would mean there’s also no such thing as a trans child which is why it’s not being admitted.

This is fun

Elena Maraga, 29, was suspended from her job near Treviso, in northern Italy, on Thursday after it emerged that she was selling risqué photos and videos of herself on the subscription-based platform, which heavily features adult content.

The case emerged after the parent of a child at the school recognised Ms Maraga on OnlyFans and informed other parents through a WhatsApp group chat and Facebook.

So, err, which bit of Ms Maraga was it that was recognised?

And the next conversation is going to be interesting. So, err, why were you browsing OnlyFans, Honey?

It’s amazin’ what’s homophobic these days

Dog walkers have been branded “homophobes” for trying to stop gay men cruising on Hampstead Heath.

The popular walking spot has been at the centre of a row after residents put up signs to deter gay men hooking up for sex at “the f— tree” and other locations that could be near playing children.

Hampstead Heath has been a popular cruising spot since Victorian times, and the practice has continued since homosexuality was decriminalised in 1967.

The posters read: “Cruising for sex? Homosexuality is legal. Use a hook-up app like Grindr or Sniffies and get a room.”

They also feature a map of the park with a red circle labelled: “This is not a cruising ground.”

Complaints about frightening the horses are homophobia now. Mrs. Patrick would be amused.

Oh, delightful

Or, you know, not perhaps, and yet. A big Only Fans star, making a fortune (a McClaren when only 21 is a fortune). And:

He’s had guys who message him through OnlyFans every day for over two years, guys who tell him they’ve just put their kids to bed, that their wives are in the other room. Sometimes he feels bad for them; knows they’re probably lonely and sad. But that’s the game, right?
CJ gets it, because he does the same thing—the vast majority of his own social interaction is mediated through the internet too. He’s only had one serious girlfriend, and that was long distance. He told me he’s not good at talking to strangers face-to-face. He’s not used to doing it that way. Instead, CJ subscribes to other OnlyFans creators, and sometimes messages with them, even though he knows he’s probably not messaging the actual person.
“I know in the back of my head that I’m talking to some middle-aged man” at a subcontracted agency, CJ told me. But he’s okay with buying into the fantasy. Yes, when he messages these people it’s more for companionship than sex—but in that way, CJ told me, “it’s still porn.”

50’s pulp short story. Bloke has a job running a “girlfriend experience” or summat. Guys come in, take a pill, interact with a computing/robotic thing, think they’ve been to see their girlfriend. Can’t recall why it’s set up that way. Population worries? Dunno.

So, he knows it’s all a scam because he runs the place. But he’s diffierent of course. His girlfriend is real. In another city, obviously. So, he goes over to see her, gets to where she works, thinks, well, why not take one of the pills…..

Cary’s right, it’s not panic

Even if the underlying bigotry were true, which of course it isn’t, this wasn’t a crime committed in the heat of the moment over an unwanted advance. A man received oral sex from a trans girl he wasn’t sure was trans, was embarrassed about it later, and conspired with his friends to get revenge. That’s not a panic.

Again and again the gay/trans panic has been used to excuse violent men – and it’s usually men – who’ve committed terrible acts of violence against LGBTQ+ people. And that’s exactly what’s happening around this horrific attack.

It is a useful reminder that actions have consequences. A possible reaction of a heterosexual finding out that their recent sexual partner is trans is violence. It is not necessary to condone the violence – which, of course, I do not – to still point out that, given humans, this is a possible reaction. So, you know, make matters clear in advance?

It’s also sexual assault by deception so there is that. Like the bird prosecuted for pretending with a dildo with her clearly not very bright female partner.

That’s not coercion, Honey

In one account, he allegedly had sex with a 21-year-old in a hotel room who had contacted him for help with her university fees, giving her a $750 cheque for “tuition reimbursement”.

The woman told the committee that their encounter “could potentially be a form of coercion because I really needed the money”.

That could be you being a whore – even if only part time – but it’s not coercion.

Amazin’

The term demisexuality was coined in 2006 and is on the spectrum of asexuality: sexual attraction only comes after an emotional connection has been built.

Wasn’t all that long ago that this was considered normal for female sexuality. Not unusual in male either.

Now, of course, that was also pushing a bit too much the control who women are bonking way too. Plenty of women have indeed been happy with going with the glint in the eye rather than only bonking special folk.

Not fancying anyone at first sight is further along the spectrum than me. But not wanting to have sex without an emotional connection? Surely that’s everyone over the age of 25.

Sure there’s a spectrum. But not being willing to share bodily fluids with every passing rando is not all that unusual a stance.

Oh aye?

The videos Matt Gaetz is alleged to have shown colleagues were not the sort of thing usually associated with the staid halls of the US Congress.

One video allegedly shown by the Florida congressman featured a young woman hula-hooping. Other images are alleged to have shown women he claimed to have slept with.

At other times, Mr Gaetz was accused of boasting of his sexual escapades.

Markwayne Mullin, a fellow Republican and senator for Oklahoma, said last year: “We all saw videos he was showing on the House floor, that all of us had walked away, of girls that he had slept with.

Gosh, why hasn’t anyone investigated this?

Last year, the DOJ told Mr Gaetz it was ending the investigation without charging him with any crimes.

In 2021, the House Ethics Committee opened its own investigation into some of the same allegations, as well as accusations Mr Gaetz had misused state identification records, converted campaign funds to personal use, wrongly accepted gifts, and shared inappropriate images or videos.

He again denied any wrongdoing and said he was the victim of a smear.

The committee later dropped some strings of the investigation, including on sharing of videos,

Oh, it has been. Gosh.

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