The English

To counter Polly’s argument

The need for an elected president has become urgent

Polly wants the monarchy gone. So, who should – OK, more importantly, who would the President be? Given that power would still reside with the PM it would be a kicked upstairs job for the second raters. John Prescott. He would have been Blair’s appointment/candidate.

We both need and will have someone to pin the VC on folk. And even Chuck’s a better choice for that than anyone who would get elected.

O Tempora, O Mores

Actually, this is very English indeed:

Social media stars including Jodie Marsh and five ex-Love Islanders including Francesca Allen are to be subjected to a name and shame Instagram campaign by the UK’s advertising watchdog for continuing to flout social media marketing rules.

The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which issued a final warning to 122 UK-based Instagram influencers over repeatedly failing to tell followers when they were paid to promote products in posts, has resorted to using the social media platform to highlight their behaviour to users.

So instead of chiding birds for looking like low paid slags, tits oot fer the lads, the formal admonition is that they are engaging in trade. Far worse, dontcha know?

How archaically English….


BBC should play God Save the Queen every day, say ministers
Culture minister endorses calls for daily dose of national anthem – but proposal is ridiculed online

We’re British, we don’t do that. The reason we don’t do that is because we’re British. What is it about simple truisms that people have such difficulty with?

It’s a fairly obvious joke and yet

The real point here is to non-native English speakers.

That’s a very, very, calmed down Cornish accent. Adjusted so that folks outside the county have even a hope of understanding it.

Most will know what Geordie, or Cockney, sounds like. But that we’ve got all three – and many, many more – in the one small country explains that BBC accent. It’s the only damn way we can understand each other.

There is something so Northern about this

Yet when an Italian television company wanted to fly him to Rome he turned them down. “I was all of a bloody tremble,” he said, adding that not only had he never flown, but he had only left Lancashire once, on a day trip to London for a brass-band contest.

The sort of tale that has me expecting Peter Tinniswood to start shouting – No, it’s just a story!”.

I mean really, it would be for a brass band contest, wouldn’t it?

And this. Wasn’t Philip just the boy?

He never escorted the Queen, his ultimate employer, across the sands, but the Duke of Edinburgh’s visit was a highlight. “Once we set off, he asked me a lot of questions,” he told Lancashire Life. “As we were coming to the other end of the bay there was a crowd gathered and they all started applauding. The duke said, ‘Stand up Mr Robinson, it is you they are clapping, not me’.”


Our high commissioner to Australia, Vicki Treadell, has, presumably on instructions from No 10, told the Aussies (big coal exporters) that they should be doing much more to cut their emissions; and that, if they didn’t, “that would not be acceptable”. For her pains Treadell has been described as “a sanctimonious bore” by what are described as “Australian government sources”. They went on to accuse the Queen’s representative of “repeatedly overstepping the mark on climate change by giving us lectures on what our sovereign domestic policy should be”.

High Commissioners are the reps for the government. Governors General are the reps for the Queen.


How distinctly un-British


The publishers of a best-selling children’s book by David Walliams are to remove a character named “Brian Wong” after criticism that it represented casual racism.

Brian Wong, Who Was Never, Ever Wrong is a story in Walliams’s compendium, The World’s Worst Children.

Georgie Ma, a writer and podcaster, criticised the book on social media earlier this year, saying: “There are so many racist jokes on the east and southeast Asian community with the surname Wong and associating it with ‘wrong’.

“I don’t have enough time to go through what kind of jokes these are but if David Walliams would have done his research, he would have known this,” Ms Ma wrote.

We’re British, you stupid damn cow. We make jokes about everything. Most especially about peoples’ names. It’s one of our cultural traits. Not grasping that marks you out as that most terrible, non-lottery winning ticket holder, thing; un-British.



Clive of India was no sociopathic thug, but a British self-made success story

They say that like there’s something wrong with being a sociopathic thug. Which is something Brits have been notably good at over the centuries.

Britain cut off from Kernow

Trains cut off from Cornwall after Tesco lorry hits railway bridge
No trains able to enter county on Tuesday, with Network Rail warning delays and cancellations may last into Wednesday

Come along now, as with fog in channel, we’ve got to get this the right way around. It is poor, poor, Britain which is unable to access Cornwall…..

A truth about UK inequality

The people of Hertfordshire pay more inheritance tax than the whole of Wales and Northern Ireland combined, analysis of state figures has shown.

Residents of the home county forked out £175m to the 40pc death duty in the 2018-19 tax year, compared to £102m paid in Wales and £40m in Northern Ireland, according to latest figures by region.

The South East of England contributed more than £1bn of the overall £4.6bn haul of that year – nearly five times the £233m paid in the entirety of Scotland.

A significant chunk of UK inequality is regional inequality. Incomes are higher in some areas than others. This is different from US inequality where each individual state has inequality about the same as the national average – not exactly, but about.

But regional costs in the UK also differ wildly – as we can see from the manner that house prices are driving those inheritance tax differences. If we control UK inequality for those local price differences – so that we’re measuring consumption inequality, not income – then it drops markedly.

Actually, perhaps we should measure it properly before trying to do something about it?


It’s all public schools’ fault you know. No, really:

Why public schoolboys like me and Boris Johnson aren’t fit to run our country

All a bit much I am not worthy really. Then there’s this:

This wasn’t healthy. In her 2015 book, Boarding School Syndrome, psychoanalyst Joy Schaverien describes a condition now sufficiently recognised to merit therapy groups and an emergent academic literature. The symptoms are wide-ranging but include, ingrained from an early age, emotional detachment and dissociation, cynicism, exceptionalism, defensive arrogance, offensive arrogance, cliquism, compartmentalisation, guilt, grief, denial, strategic emotional misdirection and stiff-lipped stoicism. Fine fine fine. We’re all doing fine.

Don’t have a great deal of time for psychoanalysis, to be fair. And this bird seems to be describing men from the female perspective, not public schoolboys specifically.

The correct way to read this is to think of why this is all being said. That state school system hasn’t exactly covered itself with glory. Very few would argue that the academic results are better than that private sector. Or that it produces better life chances. So, we’ve therefore got to find some other reason why private schooling either must be denigrated or must cease to exist.

The Third Viscount Stansgate

I’ve long wondered about this. Indeed, I’m in print, somewhere or other, wondering about this before Tony Benn’s death. Now we have our answer:

Tomorrow, Stephen Benn, 69, a lobbyist for the biosciences industry and the eldest of Benn’s four children, will be announced as the successful candidate in a contest to take a lifelong hereditary seat in the Lords. In so doing, the 3rd Viscount Stansgate will assume the right to make and amend laws, and claim hundreds of pounds in tax-free allowances for attending the chamber. He will also take his seat without a democratic or even a customary internal vote.

If only we could bottle Nick Timothy

The essence of him that is:

For the English do have traits and tendencies, just like any other nationality.

Bottle it so as to pour it down the drain.

The entire essence of Englishness is to deny – correctly – that we have traits and or tendencies precisely because we are not like any other – or even a – nationality. We are the archetype from which Johnny Foreigner diverges in amusing or possibly disastrous ways.

England is the mother of parliaments. It is the land of Shakespeare and Dickens, Elgar and Holst, the Beatles and Stones, the Cotswolds and Cumbrian hills, London and Liverpool, Oxford and Cambridge. It is Stonehenge and St Paul’s, football and cricket, the local church and village pub, Isaac Newton and Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

It is cream teas and Cheddar cheese, a pint of bitter and a cup of tea, farms and factories, honest coppers and straight judges. It is the Wars of the Roses and the Reformation, Roundheads and Cavaliers, rebellions and strikes, Industrial Revolution and a Glorious Revolution. It is the home of Magna Carta, Locke and Burke, Churchill and Attlee, and long lines of kings and queens.

And, of course, it is about so much more.


The list is promulgated to insist that there should be an English Parliament, another layer of phartstains to rule over us.

Chesterton was closer to the truth. Those rulers never have and never will listen to us. So let’s keep their number and power to a minimum.

The essence of Englishness isn’t in cheese or history. It’s in the entirely wise insistence that politics can go to fuck.

Now, this truly is excellent news

Fully jabbed Scots may be allowed on holiday with no isolation
Nicola Sturgeon hopeful that vaccination success will soon open up international travel

Apparently they’ve created a vaccine against being Scottish. Or perhaps it’s against displaying typically Scots behaviour. But welcome all the same. For who would want to have to confront a porridge wog if they’d not been vaccinated?

But we know this can’t be true

But not all is as it seems with the self-styled Lord Alexander Jackson Maier, 11th Marquis of Annaville. In truth he is neither a Lord nor a Marquess.

He is in fact Alexander Jackson Maier, a 22-year-old African-American student raised in the city of New Rochelle, in New York State.

Because Lord Alexander Jackson Maier isn’t the correct mode of address for a Marquis.

Lord first name(s) surname is the correct form of address for the younger son of a Duke (possibly Marquess, maybe even Earl, not sure) but not for a Marquess in his own right.

We know it’s bollix because the guy doesn’t know his own name.

Sure, there might be all sorts of Irish titles floating around out there – I know, or knew, someone who claimed one himself. Claimed please note. But this bloke doesn’t have one of them.

He told The Telegraph: “There is no title in the peerage related to me whatsoever. I do apologize greatly to those institutions involved with a mechanism like this, many of which I’m obviously not familiar with.”


Tsk, missing a trick here

Let Scots in whole of UK vote on independence, Boris Johnson is urged

Instead, let the whole of the UK vote on Scottish independence.

Given that the porridge wogs never do restrict themselves to pissing out how many actually want to keep them inside the tent?


The £70.7bn drug maker was the world leader in vaccines and, importantly for the Government, it was British.

But, when Sir Patrick Vallance, the Government’s chief scientific adviser, made the call to his former colleague and GSK boss, Dame Emma Walmsley, he was turned down.

Now, more than a year later, Dame Emma may be regretting that decision.

Bird who refused to make a vaccine is a Dame. Bird who led world beating performance – for free – to make a vaccine is a Dame.

We demand action – Countess Bingham of Wuhan at the very least, if not Marchioness in her own right.

This will piss certain people off

Boris Johnson warns green list could be culled as Portugal faces axe
Ministers meet on Thursday to decide whether popular holiday destination should now be rated amber

New and expensively redone bar just opened for the first time across the road yesterday…..

….and yes, listening to the accents while wandering down the street a lot of the trade is British…..