The English

Holy Lord, seriously?

Restaurateurs are hoping the scheme will boost a struggling sector. Hawksmoor, the high-end steak restaurant chain, said it received 5,500 bookings in six hours after it advertised the “best steak and chips in Britain” for a tenner (it reduced the cost of a 300g portion of rump steak and chips from £30 to £20 before applying the discount).

£30 for steak and chips? And that’s rump?

I’ve been out of England too long, obviously, given my surprise at that number. I’d expect dinner for 2 including the wine for that. Actually, we do go for – lunch, agreed – for two for significantly less than that. Including the wine, coffee, amuse guele and tip.


One of the major problems with contemporary debates about “Englishness” is that England does not really exist as either a coherent idea or a concrete political reality. Because it has so few political institutions that are truly its own — no parliament, no legal system, few cultural references to distinguish it from Britain as a whole

That legal system thing. Elton John certainly found out that England (OK, England and Wales) has a different legal system from Scotland, no?


There are calls for Jack Charlton to be awarded a posthumous knighthood following his death at the age of 85 after a year long fight with cancer.

I’m notI’m not sure what the reason is but we don’t give posthumous Ks. Just one of those things not done…..

One of the Johnny Foreigner differences

The video showed a deserted street during the night, along with the voices of men and women singing Canto della Verbena (And While Siena Sleeps) – a popular patriotic folk song.

No, not some cliche about Italians bursting into song while selling you an ice cream, or failing to die until they’ve sung that aria. Rather, the language being used in the description.

Those Ooop North – Liverpool, say, Newcastle perhaps, any of those places north of Watford Gap, no matter, they’re all the same right – might let go with a few verses of On Ilkley Moor B’aht ‘At. Or a Cumbrian might celebrate with a bit of Ferry Cross The Mersey. Or perhaps Monkton Farleigh might ring with the celebration of A New Combine Harvester.

Or, even, Rule Britannia and You’ll Never Walk Alone. But because it’s English people doing these things we’d not describe them as “patriotic” songs. Even if they were we wouldn’t. Just because that’s not our own mental image of what we do. Even those WWI songs (Tipperary, Kitbag and so on) wouldn’t be described as such.

Of course, we don’t have to be patriotic because we’ve already won by being English but still. The very language being used here in the description is emphasising that them and us distinction. Only Johnny Foreigner would ever be described as singing “patriotic” songs. It’s all they’ve got poor loves, but still.

Obvious nonsense

Northerners complain more about energy, telecommunications and travel than Southerners, according to new research, which experts have said shows the true scale of the “levelling up challenge”.

Analysis of more than half a million complaints showed people in the North of England and in Scotland reported significantly larger numbers of issues with debt and billing, connectivity and customer services for essential infrastructure sectors.

This is just one of those cultural differences. It’s not that Northerners are less happy, more oppressed or face a worse world – well, other than being from the North of course. It’s that the culture is different. Daddy’s little princess parades in her prom dress and gets an “Aye, not bad” where the Southern shandy drinker will have exclaimed “How gorgeous!”. Grumbling about t’tmill is the way of life.

To miss this, to try to do the comparison across the cultural line is rather silly. As if you’d gone to measure what workers have for lunch and concluded that those with a snap box were paying cards instead.

Idiot foreigners

Sifton is on a quest to bring Sunday suppers to America. And in the era of Trump, the call to gather around the table with family and friends seems all the more relevant. The British have a rich tradition of Sunday suppers, with dinner often being built around a big roast. But we don’t have an equivalent in America.

We British don’t have a tradition of Sunday suppers at all. We have a tradition of Sunday Lunch.

Which is, y’kno, different.

We might even call it Sunday dinner at times but that’s because we’ve a class based different in what we call the meal in the middle of the day. Poshos – well, just plain civilised – call it lunch, the proles call it dinner. But even that doesn’t excuse calling it supper now, does it?


For growing numbers of people the weekend is an emotional wilderness where interaction is minimal and social life non-existent. What can be done to break this toxic cycle?

We English had a solution to this. Then the morons killed them off with smoking bans and they’re restaurants now, not the same thing at all.

Ex-Army Captain looking for job

And, well, anyone know how good an actress she is?

As with Worstall’s Law of Acting, if they’re fugly they can. She ain’t, so the question has to be asked, can she? For if she can’t then there’s a natural end to the career path.

So, what jobs do we think they might get?

Quite so, quite so

The old order has shifted during the past 10 years with Exeter among those growing in stature while France faded

Could be considered a little odd to compare a British club side to a foreign national one. But of course the county town of Devon is vastly more important than there mere country of France. The second is forrin after all.

Well, yes, OK

Put our colonial history on the curriculum – then we’ll understand who we really are
Maya Goodfellow

Sure, why not?

My mum came to the UK from India in 1973, after a chunk of time spent in Uganda, when she was only 13.

Oh, you mean we should learn your colonial history. Why?

Like what?

Cultural appropriation is the claimed act of taking from another race, nationality or identity group’s hallmarks and heritage, and the exploitation of these features by those outside the given group.

The English language? Only Hindu can use zero? Europe’s got to go back to IV and VIII or can only Italians use those? Those not descended from celts must stop wearing trousers? Everyone not from Stroud must stop using power machine made cloth?

Well, yes, there is another English meaning

New Zealanders have expressed disappointment at the decision to fine England for their v-shaped formation for the All Blacks haka in their Rugby World Cup semi-final, with many fans praising them for their dignity and dramatic flair.

On Saturday night, England delighted fans in both camps when players arranged themselves to face the All Blacks. The V – which many inside New Zealand took to stand for “victory” –

But the underlying point. The haka isn’t some cultural wibble like haspirating hs or not. It’s a challenge to battle.

To which there should be a response other than milling around then kicking a ball at them.

War with France it is then

A tiny British island was “invaded” in the name of a French ‘king’ with the group raising the Patagonian flag and painting a toilet block in their national colours.

The intruders approached The Minquiers, a group of rocks nine miles south of Jersey, in an eight metre boat at “low light” just after 5pm on Wednesday in order to carry out their mission undetected.

They used a double extension ladder to hoist up the blue, white and green colours of Patagonia, according to local hut owners Paul Ostroumoff and Julian Mallinson, who arrived as the boat was leaving the shore.

This isn’t the first time either. Time to send in the gunboats.

Paris is on a river, right?

Should be said though that the island in question is not part of the UK, but is part of the Crown as a section of the Duchy of Normandy. Thus it’s the Queen’s rather than British, navy which needs to go do this. But since the British one is the Queen’s we’re OK there too.

Alternatively Ritchie might be so desperate for vermine that’s he’ll undertake the job single handed.

Modern travel

From B in Swindon:

You probably have more chance of a different culture driving to the middle of Wiltshire than flying thousands of miles to another city.

Especially Wiltshire says this Bathonian. Monkton Farleigh’s a strange, strange, place. As for Midford…..

Howdahs are to be illegal?


Elephant riding holidays abroad offered by British travel companies could become illegal under plans being considered by Defra.

Senior sources at the department said they were seeking the best legislative route to banning the “appalling” holidays, with plans to hold a consultation into banning it.

British holiday companies currently offer experiences abroad in countries including Sri Lanka, Thailand and India, where travelers can ride elephants or watch them perform “tricks”.

However, animal rights campaigners argue that these practices are cruel, as elephants are frequently “broken in” by being beaten with steel hooks so they become compliant.

They are also often not kept in appropriate enclosures…

The best description of this is the reappearance of colonialism. Darkie foreigners must do as the British middle classes demand.