The royals, the lords, the ladies, the knights and dames, and all those who hold status in orders of the empire could just be addressed as the equals of all others, as they are.
The man who does indeed claim his title of Emeritus Professor really would be insisting we use CBE, Sir, M’Lud etc if he ever got one, wouldn’t he?
I’d expect him to insist upon Spud BEM in fact – if he got one of those.
I can think of a three letter word that describes Spud, but I don’t think we should stint ourselves for using one little extra letter…
Spud is, of course, a hypocrite. He’s supposedly a Quaker and they hold their ‘testimony of equality’ which rejects titles. Yet he puffs up his honorary ‘5 Rice Krispies packet tops’ ‘Professor’ title every chance he gets. He might just about get away with using it if he’s working at the university or representing it but he barely seems to leave the house these days except to waddle along looking at ducks.
Quakers are demented heretics anyway, heaven is not a democracy, but an absolute monarchy, and equality is not a Christian virtue.
The point is this: if someone who was born the son of a monarch can be stripped of all his titles, even though it was said that to remove that of prince was impossible because it was his by birthright, then what is made clear?
Why is he so fucking stupid?
Two minutes of research show that Prince Ernest Augustus, Duke of Cumberland
lost British royal titles in 1917 under the Titles Deprivation Act, which removed titles from German-linked royals during WWI.
I propose the opposite. Anyone with a BSc, for example, should be addressed as “Bachelor”, with an MA as “Master”, and anyone with a doctorate should be obliged to use the title on all occasions.
But physicians who don’t have a doctorate must give up their pretensions of being called “Doctor” and retired servicemen may not use their former ranks as titles on pain of jail. However retired servicemen may use a title that refers to any decoration they have won for courage. True there would be confusion at first about men being called Victoria but it would soon all settle down. Similarly civilians who hold the GC or GM would be addressed as “George”. Henceforward no child may be named Victoria or George lest confusion reign.
How to address the likes of Sir Cur? Well the “Sir” is out, of course, but like all lawyers and judges he could be addressed as “Twat”.
It’s probably R. Murphy BSC SSC. If you’ve watched Red Dwarf you’ll know what I mean.
And the vending machine is still out of fun-sized Crunchies…
I like Christopher Brookmyre’s* version of SSC – Sad Suburban Cunt
* <i>a big boy did it and ran away</i>