Now there’s a blueprint for a successful divorce, drawn up by countless others who came before us. Instead of both parties going all guns blazing, War of the Roses style, damage control is the default these days, because we know we have to be grown up to cause the least stress possible for any children involved. Not only that, but we don’t want our friends taking sides, we don’t want to cause ripples in the neighbourhood, we don’t want to be seen as bitter and we want to be invited to dinner parties and BBQs still — yes, even if our ex is there!
It’s as if there is an unspoken PR strategy for separating by which we’ve unanimously started living. A divorce code, if you will.
Social codes exist, do they? Templates for how to exist around other people?
Gosh.
Having acted for many solicitors in my career, I always found that, man or woman, they just loved divorces. If there’s not enough animosity, a few judicious phrases here and there could ignite it, then the fees just shot up. So any “social codes” can easily be broken by pure, untamed greed…
I may have said this before but during my divorce the soon to be ex and I had reasonable relations. Her solicitors told her the delay in her getting her pay off was due to me not having paid my solicitors bill, which I had.
They didn’t know we were talking to each other. Bastards.
As above, incentives, innit? Thus in almost every divorce the only winners are the legals.
Apparently some people still haven’t learned that the only people who are better off for a court case are the lawyers involved. Which includes the judge.
You go to law to avoid having your life ruined, but you’ll never be better off than if you hadn’t had cause to go to law in the first place.
Incentives, innit?
Wait until they get into it, for the average person the divorce process will cause atreas and animosity. Can’t sort thr money out until paperwork is done, paperwork takes 6 months plus…
Bullshit. Nothing has changed. This parlor gossip is written by a woman for women.
Womanbrain:
It’s partly my age and life stage — divorce rates are highest among men aged 45‑49 and women aged 40‑44, according to figures from the Office for National Statistics. But what’s interesting about being part of the zeitgeist is that you know there is safety in numbers.
There is no safety in numbers.