Cossacks set off on historic ride from Moscow to Paris
A team of Cossacks are to ride once more on Paris in a show of Russian patriotism two centuries after their forebears chased Napoleon\’s Grand Army back to the French capital.
What other events could be celebrated in similar fashion?
Should we get the RAF to do a flypast over Dresden? The Wermacht to visit Paris (twice, obviously, 1870s version and 1940)? Perhaps the Mongolians would like to ride on Budapest again? The Turks on Vienna?
One that might actually be welcome: could we get the Normans to come and slaughter the politicians again?
The Yanks could set fire to Atlanta?
The Russians rape their way through Berlin?
We could sack Calais? Well, okay, we do every weekend!
Since Napoleon’s grand army was actually chased back to Vilnius, feel free to go anywhere.
Muslims conquer Spain (and Portugal?).
Crusaders into the Middle East!
We could burn the White House 🙂
Dutch to sail up the Thames…
The Normans replaced the politicians with far worse ones. Are you really saying you want to replace the British idiots with the French version?
Tim adds: It’s the slaughter I’m relishing
Are Cossacks even Russian?
What about the Restoration?
Execute 30 or so leading politicians and office-holders (that’ll include the quangos these days), life imprisonment for a few more, convict a few others but allow them to escape into exile, fine a few more and ban them from office. About 100 altogether.
Then restore a Stuart monarch.
The Duke of Bavaria does not comment on the Jacobite claim to the throne …
Tim adds: It’s the slaughter I’m relishing
In that case, you’ll want to reenact the French Revolution first, then immediately afterwards the Norman conquest.
It was the Normans who founded England as a united, non-fleeting country. I suppose that was a pretty bad thing to do, was it?
They also introduced feudalism and the divine right of kings. There’s an interesting speculative article on what might have happened if the Conquest failed here: http://tateville.com/althistory/england.html
The Luftwaffe could do a flypast over Coventry, The Turks could re-enact blowing up the Parthenon and the Mongols could march to the gates of Vienna once more. All good, clean historical fun
“They also introduced … the divine right of kings”: fat lot that mattered; Norman kings ruled for only 70 years and then it was mainstream frogs.
When they get to Paris, the British army can load them on trucks at the point of a bayonet, clubbing any who resist with rifle butts, and they can be transported to Siberia to die in commemorative gulags.
Excellent. India and Pakistan reunited under British rule, the US and Canada ditto. What’s not to like?
SE (#7), the Dukes are old. Wait for Princess Sophie, then we can unite Britain to Liechtenstein and become a tax haven.
The ‘Wermacht’ did not make it to Paris in 1870.
And it was not the ‘Wermacht ‘ then, it was the Imperial German Army. We want accurate slaughter. It would be more interesting to send the ‘Wermacht’ back to Stalingrad….(renamed Putingrad for the fun of it)
Actually, William, though your point is entirely valid, it was the Medway, in 1667, not the Thames….
jonathon, if the US is to be reunited under British rule, does that mean the Brits are going to pay off our debt?
The Cossacks riding on Paris reminds me of the joke:
Q How many divisions does it take to defend Paris?
A. Can’t tell, never been done!
Nuke Hiroshima? I seem to recall a Science Fiction story in which the August 2045 anniversary is celebrated thus.
And as at least one historian put it, the Russians were persuaded to leave France because “wells in eastern provinces were beginning to taste of Cossack or Prussian maraduders shoved down them on dark nights” (Elting, J R “Swords Around A Throne” Weidensfield & Nicholson 1988) Just a bit of posturing and, of course the Imperial Marshals may choose to deliver some lessons of their own. Davout and Ney had their measure on too many occasions.
According to Ritchie, we already are …
Although I did, at some point, muse on the idea of marrying William off to Marie-Caroline … Too late now, of course.
Not necessarily, Surreptitious Evil. Still plenty of Paris tunnels and sacrificial Mercedes.
SE (#21), I assume you mean the Liechtenstein princess rather than Le Pen’s eldest daughter?
Richard,
Yup. And the younger one too, not the aunt.
Send gun boats up the Potomac and burn down the Whitehouse, it is almost the two hundreth aniversary after all.
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