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Isn’t that great?

A pasty crimper posed as a porn star to swindle £35,000 out of a lonely pensioner, a court heard.

That the world does that division and specialisation of labour thing enough that someone is employed solely to crimp pasties?

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Mitch
Mitch
8 years ago

Euphamism? ?

Bloke in Cornwall
Bloke in Cornwall
8 years ago

Not a euphemism, the pasty factorys have that as a good title… Can’t remember if they only crimp or of they actually add the filing too… A friend worked on one many years back as a weekend job…

Bloke in Cornwall
Bloke in Cornwall
8 years ago

Job title, not good title!!

Hallowed Be
Hallowed Be
8 years ago

She’s only crimping pasties till the pasty crimping’s done.

Ljh
Ljh
8 years ago

I am sure her fantasies of being a porn star are what get her through days, months and years of pasty crimping.

Edward Lud
Edward Lud
8 years ago

Like the man who was employed at Knole for the sole purpose of going round the house winding up the clocks.

Bloke in Wiltshire
Bloke in Wiltshire
8 years ago

Just asking for trouble going on a group like that. 27 year olds don’t want your cock, granddad. They want your money.

Either find a similar aged woman, or just pay by the hour.

Roué le Jour
Roué le Jour
8 years ago

East vs West

Here in Thailand it would be a porn star posing as a humble pasty crimper dreaming of her own pasty shop. And all she needs is 35,000 quid…

Mr Ecks
Mr Ecks
8 years ago

BiW is correct. How does anyone reach the age of 69 and still be that dumb?

As for the perp–a Cornish villager? The wannabe “porn” star needs a chance to make her ambitions real. She should be deported back to Bollywood to get her big break.

bloke in spain
bloke in spain
8 years ago

I’m stunned there was actually a crime here. I’d always presumed extracting benefits for illusory prospects of sex was women’s SOP.

Andrew M
Andrew M
8 years ago

> How does anyone reach the age of 69 and still be that dumb?

People get more trusting as they enter old age, surprisingly. No idea why.

John Square
John Square
8 years ago

In my head I heard ‘Pasty Crimper’ as an insult, like ‘Peaky Blinder’.

The Inimitable Steve
The Inimitable Steve
8 years ago

Should’ve gone to Specsavers.

BobRocket
BobRocket
8 years ago

He should get his money back at least (silly old fool), she said she paid her mortgage with the money and her husband admitted to criminal activity, the house is therefore the proceeds of crime and should be seized.

markc
markc
8 years ago

Is there another porn star somewhere who puts the hole in doughnuts?

Rocco Siffredi
Rocco Siffredi
8 years ago

Hmm

Jim
Jim
8 years ago

“Should’ve gone to Specsavers.”

Hey there’s a porn niche for all shapes and sizes these days, rule 34 and all that.

BraveFart
BraveFart
8 years ago

A friend of my brother in law is a turkey sperm extractor, although it is a seasonable job

bloke in france
bloke in france
8 years ago

Bravefart
What does he season it with?

Roué le Jour
Roué le Jour
8 years ago

Western men have little defense against gold diggers because the welfare state has largely eliminated them so there’s no opportunity to build up a resistance. That’s my explanation for old git & bar girl romances, anyway.

AlexM

Obvious demeaning smear to belittle her talents. The wretched woman is clearly an all-round pasty development operative.

BniC
BniC
8 years ago

Fiddly stuff pastry, worked in a lie factory many years ago and all the packing was done by hand, especially the mini sausage rolls,

TonyC
TonyC
8 years ago

in the USA a “pasty crimper” is someone that that presses crenilation into the mucilaged sticker that attaches a tassel to a stripper’s areola

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