The export ban covers European “bidets, lavatory pans, flushing cisterns and similar sanitary ware”, according to diplomats. It was brought in last summer, but has only just been reported.
“The flushing toilet has done more for civilisation than any other single invention,” another European diplomat told The Telegraph.
“So by restricting exports, we are merely bringing Russia’s technological advancement in line with the state of its civilisation.”
Har, Har, very cute diplomatic joke. But of course the flushing toilet hasn’t done anything for civilisation at all. The function and value is little different from the gazunder.
The valuable part of the system is the piping that takes it all away thus saving the problems of the Gardy Loo from the top floor window.
It’s sewers, not toilets, that matter.
Bloc bans lavatory exports in latest attempt to neutralise Vladimir Putin ahead of the invasion’s one-year anniversary
But don’t worry, chaps. It’ll be over by one of these Christmases.
The “toilet war” has the potential to have particular impact on Russians because one in five does not have indoor plumbing.
This is actually untrue, but that doesn’t seem to matter anymore.
Lavatories have even been looted by soldiers fighting in Ukraine to be sent back home.
The tone of our war propaganda is all over the place, we can’t make up our minds whether the Russkies are a mass murdering, terrifying threat to European democracy, or the Keystone Kossaks.
“So by restricting exports, we are merely bringing Russia’s technological advancement in line with the state of its civilisation.”
Sounds very Eastern Euro, they’re always boasting about having indoor toilets and Nutella, and accusing the country immediately to their east of not having indoor toilets and Nutella.
The EU has a long history of targeting symbolic goods for sanctions.
Because the EU isn’t a serious player. If they were, the US wouldn’t have dared to bomb their pipelines.
The EU used to boast about how it achieved peace on the European continent. Now it’s reduced to literally talking pish while the Americans and Russians reshape Europe.
I somehow doubt Russia, a nation that can make ceramic containers for nuclear purposes and other high-energy shenanigans all by itself, would somehow fall back into the Stone Age being denied the unsurpassible and mighty EU-potty.
It might be the case that some poor Russian rich-biatch may have to park their fanny on a classic “this is what is produced by Glorious State and you will like it, Comrade” style bathroom throne after redecorating the 4th bathroom in the house.
You never know, weird stuff happens all the time, after all.
But yeah… I can see the russian elite quaking in their boots at the thought of not being able to get their hands on the latest and greatest of EU sanitary sandbox technology.
I do wonder about fittings. Don’t know where the Ruskies get there’s. Some countries don’t go in for much domestic manufacture & rely on imports. I’ve noticed with some Spanish lines, it seems to be Germany & (presumably residual?) UK.
So maybe not literally no pot to piss in but a future of piss-pots no longer emptying as failures occur. Would depend on how easily RU could bootstrap up domestic production.
One could see something similar happening to Europe & the UK if China embargoed them. There’s a lot of Made in China stuff they don’t have the industry to replace imports. Certain things they don’t make at all now, so they’d be bootstrapping all the way up from design through tooling to manufacture & supply chains.
What does this imply for EU member Greece, as the fount of Western civilisation, when you have to drop your shitty bog paper in a bin at the side of the khazi to avoid blocking the pipes?
BiS – One could see something similar happening to Europe & the UK if China embargoed them. There’s a lot of Made in China stuff they don’t have the industry to replace imports
Seems like that’s the plan. We’re already sanctioning China, and the war drums have been beating across the Pacific for some time. Taiwan is due to be Ukraine 2.0.
Phil Hammond (yes, I know) actually had a good point this week, while Liz Truss made a foolish one.
Spreadsheet Phil says we should try to normalise our relationship with the Chinee, and get back to business. Liz Truss says we should be threatening the Chinamen with more missiles and sanctions.
So what do we actually want from China? Phil’s idea of peaceful trade sounds a lot more appealing than Liz’s idea of “economic NATO”. Especially given we are, y’know, broke.
What do we stand to gain from noising up Chairman Pooh? Will we be smugging about sanctioning toilet exports to Beijing while hyperinflation ravages the the Western world like a particularly nasty case of financial AIDS?
What does this imply for EU member Greece, as the fount of Western civilisation, when you have to drop your shitty bog paper in a bin at the side of the khazi to avoid blocking the pipes?
They do the same here. I think it may be cultural more than anything else. Legacy of when the country didn’t have much of a sewerage system & was using septic tanks & weeper drains. Clogged ’em. It might still make sense in rural houses but not in cities. which have filters & macerators in the system. Or at least, normally have now. But you’d only have to go back to the 80’s…
See the advantages to being a Brit? The things you don’t have to know about?
Steve,
“The EU used to boast about how it achieved peace on the European continent. Now it’s reduced to literally talking pish while the Americans and Russians reshape Europe.”
This was always bollocks. The focus of German ambition was mostly about grabbing what was to the East: Czechoslovakia, Poland, Austria. None of these joined the EU until the mid-90s. So, how did it help? The stuff between France and Germany in the 20th century was because France got involved, not because Germany cared much about France.
What actually achieved peace was better agriculture. Food became plentiful and no-one cared about nicking agricultural land.
But WW2 created two ideas: Firstly, that institutions make a difference. Whether it be NATO, the UN or the EU. And secondly that you can defeat dictators and get democracy. Culturally this is reflected in the original Star Wars trilogy where the emperor is defeated and they all sing yub nub and are happy. It led us to regime change in the Middle East, none of which worked.
BoM4 – yeah, ah know.
The EU really shouldn’t be a passenger tho, in the face of the deadliest war the European continent has seen since 1945. They’re completely irrelevant and decisions are being made for them (and us) by people sipping skinny lattes in Washington DC, and the shapeshifting reptilians of Davos.
There’s no European plan, and Europe doesn’t even seem to know where it’s headed. Or what its interests are. Lots of bafflegab and shite is being talked by EU popinjays, but they’re hostages of outside forces and events, not authors of their own fortune.
I feel like they moved on from democracy a long time ago (probably when democracy elected Hitler), and that’s why we have an EU. Every Western country seems to be Democracy As A Managed Service now, where the choices are carefully stage managed to ensure there’s little risk of voters influencing government policy.
@Steve
Will we be smugging about sanctioning toilet exports to Beijing while hyperinflation ravages the the Western world like a particularly nasty case of financial AIDS?
Aren’t the ceramic thunderboxes already made in China in a place called Vitreous?
– The tone of our war propaganda is all over the place, we can’t make up our minds whether the Russkies are a mass murdering, terrifying threat to European democracy, or the Keystone Kossaks.
A thick pikey can successfully burgle your home, and an illiterate mohammedan goatherder can rape your daughter. As with the Russians, they can only succeed when you enable them. The best solution is to generally keep them out and smash them when they try.
– Sounds very Eastern Euro, they’re always boasting about having indoor toilets and Nutella, and accusing the country immediately to their east of not having indoor toilets and Nutella.
It’s amazing how those who have experienced Russian occupation are down on Russians and very keen to not be occupied again.
– Because the EU isn’t a serious player. If they were, the US wouldn’t have dared to bomb their pipelines.
An obvious candidate, by looking at motives and means instead of being blinded by anti-western-government animus, is Poland.
– Seems like that’s the plan. We’re already sanctioning China, and the war drums have been beating across the Pacific for some time. Taiwan is due to be Ukraine 2.0.
It’s all our fault again. The Chinese are only occupying the territorial waters of other nations in the region and threatening seaways because we’re such meanies.
– Spreadsheet Phil says we should try to normalise our relationship with the Chinee, and get back to business. Liz Truss says we should be threatening the Chinamen with more missiles and sanctions.
Steve agrees with Phil Hammond but not Liz Truss who agrees with Donald Trump. This post covid world is a mighty strange place.